Thot Slayer 2/17/2019 8:49pm


I've reported the obviously immoral if not illegal job we've taken transporting iguana tails to the Bermuda Triangle that @Hugo accepted on the ship's behalf, and I can't get anybody to care! I'm in direct communication with Joy, the HR paralegal representative they've assigned to me on a very wide range of topics and have been sending her close to 15 emails a day noting potential infractions of the Leading through Caring guidelines that I've submitted, as well as a number of suggestions not men...(READ MORE)

Battle Bus 2/15/2019 7:19pm

Fritz Camembert

After conferring with several colleagues via anonymous chat rooms, we agree to examine your purported "Let us Secure this Bread" airship card, from what it appears to be the stone age, universe 4A, @Rose Lalonde. You can find us at the upcoming Rotting Worm Card and Comics Faire in Old Habitsform, Sector B Subcluster, booth #1007664a. Please do not touch the merchandise. Anxiously awaiting your reply, Fritz Camembert The Card Shark...(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai 2/13/2019 9:34pm

Billy Sabab

Dinner at the Rotting Worm Book Faire in Old Habitsform is exquisite. Those bookseller types have a taste for fine food and wine. You just have to know the right ones. In my case, I only knew one. Good thing he didn't want to drink alone. "I expected you'd be using the money you realized from the sale on dinner with Captain Nomenclature?" He used the weird fake French pronunciation again. I tried to use it when I introduced myself but fumbled it badly. "Oh, I make it a po...(READ MORE)

Araceli 2/11/2019 9:13pm

Jimmy Three-hands

Brrrrrrrr. Being dead sure is cold. I was freezing cold and dead out by the woodpile. One of my three eyes wanted to wake up, and the other of my three eyes wanted to go back to being dead, and the third of my three eyes just wanted the others to stop bickering. BIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPT! Bakemono Toad's ribbit ripped through me like a torn skirt. It tore right through me like lightning. As Ol' Jimmy Three Hand's brain was flapping in the wind, I had a hazy memory of filling Bakemono...(READ MORE)

The Mephitis 2/9/2019 5:34pm

choco loni

this is my memory stick. it’s clear now, see-through like everything else. or reflective of everything else. same images of everything reflecting off everything else, with nothing to reflect but the reflections. there’s still something being reflected—contours, outlines, oily shapes along the crinkle of infinite telescopy... which is why the memory stick seemed like the perfect weapon. see-through as it is, its size and shape is clear in my hand, and i know what ammunition it holds. wil...(READ MORE)

Eyes Without A Face 2/7/2019 9:06pm

Grace Gearhorn

weeeeeeeeeeek! weeeeeeeeeeeek! "Get that haunted squirrel off the bridge!" Navigating the plumbless depths of this island-sized behemoth is hard enough without Junior Navigator Claira's little stow-away screeching uncontrollably. weeeeeeeeeeeek! weeeeeeeeeeek! weeeeeeeeeeek! "Slowly ahead, Ensign Charmer." "Aye aye, mam." "I want us pointed straight out this whale's mouth and ready for full thrusters as soon as we see those pearly whites open...(READ MORE)

ol' big balloon 2/5/2019 6:59pm

Cucurbita Pepo

We are now running seven of the scarecrow machines. Each one needs a small crew to operate, and we are able to work them about the room, bumping into giant furniture, bumping into each other, bumping into walls. Now that we have located what appears to be a door, we have been ramming ourselves into it, two at a time. What’s this? Number 5 reports a door knob....(READ MORE)

Egregore 2/3/2019 7:52pm

Rose Nomenclature

"The Traits, Features, Characteristics, Peculiarities, Mannerisms, Qualities, and Attributes of the Hymergian Man-Fungus," with fold-out illustrations intact. You can't even look at it without the right glasses or you go crazy. And I got a pair of those too. Met Bill, some junkman, who sold them to me at the Rotting Worm Book Faire in Old Habitsform. He wasn't even a licensed Dangerous Antiquities Dealer. However, unless the glasses are their own elaborate hoax, it appears to be aut...(READ MORE)

Albion 2/1/2019 1:09pm

Magnus Arquebus

I can understand the decision to go with the Giant Spiders, but, had Enormous Hives, LLC been consulted we would have pointed out that while they do lack the crushing weight of the Giant Toads and Giant Lizards, they are much harder to remove from the scene once their work is done. Not to mention the almost chthonic malevolence that they possess. Had they opted for the slow moving and frankly somewhat cute Giant Fuzzy Tarantulas this would have been less of an issue, but I think we can all admit...(READ MORE)

Spatuloso 1/28/2019 9:09pm

Auto Slops

A blimp nursery can seem pretty small, once you reach a certain age. Uncle Elvin was a great dad, and the Spatuloso taught us how to respect ourselves as blimps. But breaking through the outer leaves of the nursery and into the wild wide skies is something we all knew would have to happen sometime. Soap Lotus was a rebel, a loner, and had to go his own way earlier than the rest of us. He was the oldest, and always had something to prove. He taught the rest of us a lot. We just wish we knew wh...(READ MORE)

Microwave Explosion 1/26/2019 9:43pm

Curious Curios Inc.

I've got a Chinese Lightning Box on this side, and I'm tuning it in so I can see through the Chinese Lighting Box on the other side. It's just this little chromium switch here.... ZZzzzzzzzwwwwwwwttkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Ah! There we go. Oh my. The Captain, Annie Griffin I believe, has the box open on the bridge of the Microwave Explosion. She has a packet of crisps in her lap and appears to be interacting with her phone. Perhaps if I can adjust the intermodulation just right I can... "Co...(READ MORE)

Golden Stone 1/24/2019 10:35pm

Mindy Mipturn

We keep your gold locked up in the hold, where it's cold, so that gold will stay froze. It's secured with ropes and tethers and is perfectly safe should the ship run into a bit of bad weather. But what if you're along for the ride? Who's going to keep you safe and secure and slightly inebriated? Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the Fasten Seat Belt sign. If you haven’t already done so, please stow your carry-on gold underneath the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin. P...(READ MORE)

The Flying Comrade 1/22/2019 11:39pm

Ben Tater

Before giving up the remote connection and joining the crew of giant guinea pigs on The Flying Comrade, I was concerned about their ability to pilot the ship on their own. But did you know that guinea pigs have better color perception than cats and dogs? And that they can see 33 images per second (as opposed to only 22 images per second like humans) and that they have a 340 degree range of vision? That's right--they would be awesome at video games. As I swab the deck of the bridge, I watc...(READ MORE)

The Useless Precaution 1/20/2019 7:29pm

Count Almaviva

Chi avrebbe conosciuto la storia degli uomini di pan di zenzero era così triste! Dentro la nostra prigione di pan di zenzero, l'equipaggio e io cominciammo a piangere. Abbiamo pianto e pianto, ci siamo presi l'un l'altro e abbiamo pianto fino a quando siamo rimasti senza lacrime. Ed è stato in questo momento che abbiamo iniziato a piangere lacrime di latte! Latte bianco, latte intero, latte con crema pesante versato dai nostri occhi e sul pavimento della nostra cella di pan di zenzero. Pres...(READ MORE)

The Sadie Hawkins 1/18/2019 11:04pm

Starry Skye

Wow there sure are a lot of new addresses here! The homes and buildings sit perched on lumps of land floating in every direction. Occasionally connected by a rainbow bridge or a waterfall, most of the divots stand alone, sprouting grasses and mushrooms and rocky outcroppings. There's usually a clear "top," where things grow, and an "under" of dark roots and dripping stone. Hettie and I swoop between them, avoiding the clouds and rain and sky devils that pass between. Bu...(READ MORE)

Dragon's Tooth 11/4/2018 8:27pm

Clammy Hamsphere

The ads for the mid-season finale of MERMAID IMPERIUM: THE RISE OF GRA’THUL are like a glam rock super battle of the bands, where everybody's got guitars that look like axes and swords and there are towers of flames and Marshall stacks and giant metal fishboots. My brother doesn't like hair metal so he's been dissing the show, saying that they've "jumped the shark" and doing whatever they can to "turn it up to eleven." But there's still no way he'd miss it. We're saving...(READ MORE)

Conquest 10/23/2018 11:57pm


Might be something with the transmission, but somethings going wrong. I don't think anything is getting through. If it is, I really need that job done, but it isn't showing up. I don't think the managers know that I'm kinda stuck. well, help if you can....(READ MORE)

Atlas 10/11/2018 11:39pm

Alex Marleybone

The Resurfacing has been accomplished with hardly a dent to the army. The Desert Arachni were admittedly reluctant to face defeat, and some good men had been lost to the gracious cause. Their deaths were not in vain, however. The breach into the ancient surface had been successful, despite the sacrifice of some beautiful ruins. When witnessing such destruction had reminded me of the previous memories of attending expeditions with my old crew mates, and how we planned months to reach here. Since...(READ MORE)

Ventura 7/23/2018 8:47pm

Olivia Diaz

It's so satisfying to have one's theories proven true. If only there was some way to share it with the people back home! And by home, of course, I mean Earth. We were prepared for this, and had been transmitting data back to HQ up till the very last minute. No doubt the last of it got a bit garbled in some interesting ways, but hopefully they'll find something useful in it. But the fact remains that our theories about the Brane were correct--that by reuniting it with its entangled partn...(READ MORE)

The Savage 5/31/2018 3:20pm

captain ryan

My ship is a savage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...(READ MORE)

The Knight Snug 4/29/2018 5:26pm



The Holy Bibbizle 4/29/2018 2:32am

Grape Man Jones

God bless The Holy Bibbizle...(READ MORE)

Coney Island Baby 2/5/2018 8:10pm

Lou Grass

Welcome Aboard!...(READ MORE)

Claudette 2/3/2018 11:18pm

Melinda Artaud

Silver Springs Capital Management was thrilled to have our oversupply of R's, S's, and T's removed from circulation from Orbis Eruditi, but our books show that we still owe the Claudette for the removal. Our attempts at remittance to your Accounts Receivable have gone unanswered. Is there another way we should be paying you? We have 75 capital vowels of various denominations still awaiting your acceptance on our docks, and are ready to send them to any accredited grapheme logography of your choo...(READ MORE)

Invictus 2/2/2018 11:08pm

Nathan Hill

To the Crew of the Invictus: the Labour of the Squirrels remains in the clearing southwest of the Seat of the Squirrels, capitol of the Squirrel Kingdom. We were under the impression that you were removing them from the clearing and transporting them to the Animal Arts & Crafts Faire in Wilderbrook. Did we misunderstand? Should we engage the services of a different owner-operated franchisee member of Zephyr Air Transport to contract this work to? A side benefit, however, to this delay in...(READ MORE)

Viola Ventura 1/30/2018 1:28pm

Little Bo Johnson

Here at Viola Ventura we're capable of removing any kind of wreckage from any kind of place. Our ship is currently being refueled for the trip. We will arrive in 20 to 30 hours....(READ MORE)

USS Bizzle 1/25/2018 8:54am

Ronald Baldwin

Bizzle is here to run ish...(READ MORE)

Alis Gloriae 1/25/2018 4:53am


Captain's Log: 1/25/18 Currently on our way to Oslo to receive repairs. All cargo-workers involved in the sandwich incident have been sacked. Have sent an official apology out. Veedle...(READ MORE)

Shining Machine 1/24/2018 8:18pm

Ricky VII

- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .-.. .--. / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- / .-. . .- ... --- -. / - --- / ..-. .-.. -.-- / ..-. --- .-. . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / --- .... / ... - --- .--. / - .... . / -- --- ..- -. - .- .. -. ... / .- .-. . / .--- ..- ... - / ... --- / ...- . .-. -.-- /...(READ MORE)

Voyager 1/23/2018 8:01pm

Captain Annie

After a few long years of training, I finally have the skills to be captain of my mother's airship. I accept this as my first job as captain of the Voyager!...(READ MORE)

The Chiron 1/22/2018 5:41am

Wind Ghosts

22/01 - Delivery successful, no major incidents to report. Cargo has been taken off ship by handlers. On our way back to home base...(READ MORE)

Nemesis 1/20/2018 2:47pm


This cat is wanted dead or alive, so that's how I'll deliver it!...(READ MORE)

Steel Aurora 1/19/2018 10:34am


the north koreans are getting a little upsetti at the lack of confetti i would have gotten the fuel by now but im duct taped to the bow........(READ MORE)

Night Pigeon 1/15/2018 5:09am

Dvorak Iahdl

Just accepted a job so I guess I’m taking flight....(READ MORE)

The Flying Captain 1/14/2018 6:23am


Free confetti...(READ MORE)

Solstice 1/12/2018 12:38am


Finally loaded and leaving Thailand. The Solstice will be headed to New York where we have the most peculiar drop off instructions. Under any dumpster. What on earth could the buyer be doing that he has the free time to check under every dumpster in New York City. But who am I to argue?...(READ MORE)

Der Puce Wal 1/11/2018 3:10am

DeMarcus J. Tyree II

Der Puce Wal ist betriebsbereit und bessere Tage liegen vor uns! Capt. D.J Tyree II is ready and willing to transport any and all gadgets, thingamajigs, doodads, whatsits, and gizmos no matter how dangerous or bizarrely worded. However, under NO circumstance will the honorable captain be liable to transport gubbins or ROUS....(READ MORE)