Thot Slayer 11/19/2018 8:45pm


Well lucky me! Guess who's headed to the Colonial Symbolism Symposium and Colloquium? That's right! ME! I mean, and the crew of the Thot Slayer. They're apparently on this big diversity kick, and word of my progressive attitudes (not to mention snazzy new uniforms) seems to have gotten around. So, I'm getting my deck ready, and practicing all my TED Talk hand gestures. I'm just so happy that a formerly stodgy old place like the Colonial Symbolism Symposium and Colloquium is interested in hea...(READ MORE)

Microwave Explosion 11/17/2018 3:01pm

Annie Griffin

Job claimed, Curious Curios Inc.!...(READ MORE)

Golden Stone 11/16/2018 9:39pm

Ben Satisfaction

Who irons the golden arm bands? Me, of course! Ben Satisfaction, Golden Armband Ironer. What's with the armbands you say? A little creepy and militaristic? Not at all! Oh ho ho ho. Not at all. You see, the Golden Armbands are only worn at special occasions, by special people, for special reasons. There are members of the crew who are members of The Royal Society of Gilded Gleaners, and as such must perform the appointed Rituals of the Golden Ones at the appointed times. You've seen them as a...(READ MORE)

The Flying Comrade 11/14/2018 11:18pm

Ben Tater

I've decided to forego the remote connection, and actually join the crew of The Flying Comrade as one of them. That is, a giant guinea pig. Or, in my case, a man in a giant guinea pig suit. There's no way we can truly act as a team unless I'm right there with them, claws on the deck. I need to drink from the same stainless steel tube, eat the same pellets, and yes, use the same bedding for my biological functions. Then we can really bond, and I can take the crew to the next level. I'm also...(READ MORE)

The Useless Precaution 11/12/2018 10:16pm

Count Almaviva

E oh! La terribile realtà dei cuochi nella loro cucina era quasi troppo orrenda da sopportare. Dopo tutto quello che avevamo visto - dai Biscotti alle Zeppole - pensavamo di aver conosciuto i peggiori (e tuttavia più deliziosi) atti culinari mai creati. La bellezza! L'atrocità! Ma mai - MAI - eravamo pronti a testimoniare la fame vorace e insaziabile dei creatori stessi. Sì, erano i Mostaccioli !! Gli uomini di pan di zenzero Immancabili di se stessi, hanno comunque provato e banchetta...(READ MORE)

The Sadie Hawkins 11/10/2018 6:25pm

Billy Nails

When you’re a real crew, kid, then nobody gets left behind. Ever. That’s why we’ve been stuck in this endless search patten for so long, tryin’ ta find a sign of that stowaway, and her flying plasma moth Sparkleshine. I guess she’s not really a stowaway any more, not after all we’ve been through, but since we’ve never been properly introduced I don’t feel comfortable calling her by her given names. Back where I grew up, our real names were secret and sacred, and we only ever...(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai 11/7/2018 9:06pm

Billy Sabab

Had to take a day off to fumigate. Carting all this old stuff around can fill the whole ship with a musty smell, and when you start having to shake moths out of your bedroll at night you know it's time. So we batten and lash everything down, secure the drawers and cabinets, then open up all the windows and hatches and cargo bay doors and fly awhile, dancing with the headwinds and blowing out all the cobwebs. It's on nights like these I like to scale the hull and spend some time up top. Sa...(READ MORE)

Dragon's Tooth 11/4/2018 8:27pm

Clammy Hamsphere

The ads for the mid-season finale of MERMAID IMPERIUM: THE RISE OF GRA’THUL are like a glam rock super battle of the bands, where everybody's got guitars that look like axes and swords and there are towers of flames and Marshall stacks and giant metal fishboots. My brother doesn't like hair metal so he's been dissing the show, saying that they've "jumped the shark" and doing whatever they can to "turn it up to eleven." But there's still no way he'd miss it. We're saving...(READ MORE)

Araceli 11/2/2018 7:52pm

Jimmy Three-hands

"Oh I just know it's around here somewhere, Joe King Crow. We'll find it eventually. Just keep on flying!" I had no idea where we were going, of course. There was no Diamond Mine, and I was up on top of the King of the Crows, inside of Bakemono Toad's smelly body, high above the forests of Bakemono Road, flying around in circles. "Well it can't be any farther that-a-way," said Joe King Crow. "That's where the Skunk lives." "Oh??? I don't smell any skun...(READ MORE)

The Mephitis 10/31/2018 9:14pm

Choco Loni

the impossible gun. not really my favorite, because by its very nature it is anti-skill. you pick it up, take aim in the general direction of the target, pull the trigger, and something entirely impossible pops into existence. an elephant riding a unicycle. a small bird who is a lawyer. a worm orchestra that plays "in the hall of the mountain king." why are mine always animal based? the other thing i don't trust about it is that i always figure well those things aren't really "imp...(READ MORE)

ol' big balloon 10/29/2018 8:36pm

Private Nickels

now, when we saw the pumpkin heads up there on the ol' big balloon, naturally we were right to follow protocol and raze the patch. we all know how those quasi-sentient pumpkin heads get when they go feral, and when they started out by decapitating their first four victims we knew they were serious. but a key point that got lost in the mess is that the ol' big balloon was also carrying three ecto-plasmic shards--shards that had somehow escaped their ectoplasmic transport curse hazard level III...(READ MORE)

Egregore 10/27/2018 3:31pm

Rose Nomenclature

It’s pronounced No-men-kla-TUR. Captain of the Egregore. EGG-gree-gore. We specialize in the retrieval of dangerous and haunted artifacts, including books. We’ve accepted a job to locate one of the most notoriously demonic tomes ever written—Cessation. Part romance novel, part apocalyptic doom manual, originally written by the mad Bulgarian monk Hristofor Zlatko and published in the 11th century to tremendously scathing reviews. However, through a series of clever international right...(READ MORE)

Albion 10/25/2018 8:26pm

Magnus Arquebus

Our entire colony of Giant Bees left with the Albion along with their honey. We really thought they'd head on back, and we even put on the big bee costumes and did the waggle dance to help them find their way, but they have continued to swarm the Albion all along its journey to Oak Cliff, where they make the biggest and most prized Texas Toast in all the land. We've received sightings from the World Bee Organization at the insect checkpoints along the way. You may have seen it on the Weather Cha...(READ MORE)

Conquest 10/23/2018 11:57pm


Might be something with the transmission, but somethings going wrong. I don't think anything is getting through. If it is, I really need that job done, but it isn't showing up. I don't think the managers know that I'm kinda stuck. well, help if you can....(READ MORE)

Eyes Without A Face 10/23/2018 12:19am


I am writing to formally accept the job upon the airship 'Eyes Without A Face'. This is a very exciting opportunity for me, and I hope I can add something new to the crew. -Claira...(READ MORE)

Spatuloso 10/21/2018 9:53pm

Soap Lotus

Boy is it good to finally leave the nest and set off on my own. Our little cloud nest was built for babies, and I'm more than ready to start cruising on my own. I'd heading off to the islands where the coconuts grow--my father was a big Coconut Millionaire back in the Cocomania days, and we had a good life. But a blimp has to make it on their own, right? I figure I'll pick up some dish washing work, or something in the food industry, while I get the lay of the land....(READ MORE)

Atlas 10/11/2018 11:39pm

Alex Marleybone

The Resurfacing has been accomplished with hardly a dent to the army. The Desert Arachni were admittedly reluctant to face defeat, and some good men had been lost to the gracious cause. Their deaths were not in vain, however. The breach into the ancient surface had been successful, despite the sacrifice of some beautiful ruins. When witnessing such destruction had reminded me of the previous memories of attending expeditions with my old crew mates, and how we planned months to reach here. Since...(READ MORE)

Ventura 7/23/2018 8:47pm

Olivia Diaz

It's so satisfying to have one's theories proven true. If only there was some way to share it with the people back home! And by home, of course, I mean Earth. We were prepared for this, and had been transmitting data back to HQ up till the very last minute. No doubt the last of it got a bit garbled in some interesting ways, but hopefully they'll find something useful in it. But the fact remains that our theories about the Brane were correct--that by reuniting it with its entangled partn...(READ MORE)

The Savage 5/31/2018 3:20pm

captain ryan

My ship is a savage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...(READ MORE)

The Knight Snug 4/29/2018 5:26pm



The Holy Bibbizle 4/29/2018 2:32am

Grape Man Jones

God bless The Holy Bibbizle...(READ MORE)

Coney Island Baby 2/5/2018 8:10pm

Lou Grass

Welcome Aboard!...(READ MORE)

Claudette 2/3/2018 11:18pm

Melinda Artaud

Silver Springs Capital Management was thrilled to have our oversupply of R's, S's, and T's removed from circulation from Orbis Eruditi, but our books show that we still owe the Claudette for the removal. Our attempts at remittance to your Accounts Receivable have gone unanswered. Is there another way we should be paying you? We have 75 capital vowels of various denominations still awaiting your acceptance on our docks, and are ready to send them to any accredited grapheme logography of your choo...(READ MORE)

Invictus 2/2/2018 11:08pm

Nathan Hill

To the Crew of the Invictus: the Labour of the Squirrels remains in the clearing southwest of the Seat of the Squirrels, capitol of the Squirrel Kingdom. We were under the impression that you were removing them from the clearing and transporting them to the Animal Arts & Crafts Faire in Wilderbrook. Did we misunderstand? Should we engage the services of a different owner-operated franchisee member of Zephyr Air Transport to contract this work to? A side benefit, however, to this delay in...(READ MORE)

Viola Ventura 1/30/2018 1:28pm

Little Bo Johnson

Here at Viola Ventura we're capable of removing any kind of wreckage from any kind of place. Our ship is currently being refueled for the trip. We will arrive in 20 to 30 hours....(READ MORE)

USS Bizzle 1/25/2018 8:54am

Ronald Baldwin

Bizzle is here to run ish...(READ MORE)

Alis Gloriae 1/25/2018 4:53am


Captain's Log: 1/25/18 Currently on our way to Oslo to receive repairs. All cargo-workers involved in the sandwich incident have been sacked. Have sent an official apology out. Veedle...(READ MORE)

Shining Machine 1/24/2018 8:18pm

Ricky VII

- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .-.. .--. / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- / .-. . .- ... --- -. / - --- / ..-. .-.. -.-- / ..-. --- .-. . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / --- .... / ... - --- .--. / - .... . / -- --- ..- -. - .- .. -. ... / .- .-. . / .--- ..- ... - / ... --- / ...- . .-. -.-- /...(READ MORE)

Voyager 1/23/2018 8:01pm

Captain Annie

After a few long years of training, I finally have the skills to be captain of my mother's airship. I accept this as my first job as captain of the Voyager!...(READ MORE)

The Chiron 1/22/2018 5:41am

Wind Ghosts

22/01 - Delivery successful, no major incidents to report. Cargo has been taken off ship by handlers. On our way back to home base...(READ MORE)

Nemesis 1/20/2018 2:47pm


This cat is wanted dead or alive, so that's how I'll deliver it!...(READ MORE)

Steel Aurora 1/19/2018 10:34am


the north koreans are getting a little upsetti at the lack of confetti i would have gotten the fuel by now but im duct taped to the bow........(READ MORE)

Night Pigeon 1/15/2018 5:09am

Dvorak Iahdl

Just accepted a job so I guess I’m taking flight....(READ MORE)

The Flying Captain 1/14/2018 6:23am


Free confetti...(READ MORE)

Solstice 1/12/2018 12:38am


Finally loaded and leaving Thailand. The Solstice will be headed to New York where we have the most peculiar drop off instructions. Under any dumpster. What on earth could the buyer be doing that he has the free time to check under every dumpster in New York City. But who am I to argue?...(READ MORE)

Der Puce Wal 1/11/2018 3:10am

DeMarcus J. Tyree II

Der Puce Wal ist betriebsbereit und bessere Tage liegen vor uns! Capt. D.J Tyree II is ready and willing to transport any and all gadgets, thingamajigs, doodads, whatsits, and gizmos no matter how dangerous or bizarrely worded. However, under NO circumstance will the honorable captain be liable to transport gubbins or ROUS....(READ MORE)