The Useless Precaution 4/24/2019 9:02pm

Count Almaviva

Quindi un abito di pan di zenzero fu creato per il giovane uomo dall'università bruscamente vestito. Era sistemato, con le misure del nastro dorato e le canne da pranzo, e una pasta era rotolata di una tale grandezza che rivaleggiava con il sole che tramontava su un campo di grano dolce e dolce che si estendeva all'infinito. Il suo vestito è stato tagliato dal campo della meraviglia e gli è stato cucito intorno, come avvolgere una mummia dalle case più sante dell'antico Egitto. E la cu...(READ MORE)

The Sadie Hawkins 4/22/2019 9:43pm

Starry Skye

"Pweeeeeeeeet!" Hettie's sonic blasts are hyper-directional--super focused straight out of her mouth--which means they don't hurt your ears at all if you're riding her. You don't want to have one pointed at you though. "Pweeeeeeeeet!" Similarly, the puff of purple plasma that accompanies each one adds to the dimensional tearing effect, but the little bit that blows back on you is barely enough to singe your eyebrows. "Pweeeeeeeeet!" It's unclear ho...(READ MORE)

Thot Slayer 4/20/2019 11:12pm


Three days I'd traveled on foot across the vast, undulating plain. The ground had dried out significantly, and the unfortunate sea life left on it had begun to putrefy, rotting in the burning sun each day. I assumed it had been thrust up from some kind of tectonic activity, a vast bulge heaving the sea floor towards the surface, creating a new island. Where was the crew headed through this wasteland--a whole ecosystem suddenly ripped of its atmosphere? Just beyond a greasy butte, a great chas...(READ MORE)

Battle Bus 4/18/2019 9:52pm

Fritz Camembert

My inscrutable business partner and myself are now the proud owners and sole source of one completely authenticated "Let us Secure this Bread" airship card, from the stone age of universe 4A. How, you may ask, were we able to secure the provenance of such a previously mythical item? My partner, the obtuse and generally insufferable @Pomme Contrebandier, has a wealth of otherwise useless knowledge concerning paper stock, printing methods, and the particularities of various full-c...(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai 4/16/2019 10:22pm

Billy Sabab

Where exactly is @Rose Nomenclature headed? You’d think she thought somebody was tailing her, and in this case she’d be right. Then again, she seems like the type who’d take those precautions as a matter of course, delving into the malevolently shady as she regularly does. And with these goofy brass goggles on, I can track her and still make sure we stay well beyond her line of sight, so she can’t know we’re following her, right? But what if she’s possessed of an eldritch sight,...(READ MORE)

Araceli 4/14/2019 10:25pm

Jimmy Three-hands

Jimmy Three-Hands didn't really think through about how The Mermaid Imperium Giant-sized Annual by @SLYR was mostly underwater. Just as it is too much to be too long anywhere on the ground, I also believe it is too much to be too long anywhere beneath the surface of the ocean. It is true that a turtle can take you to the Dragon Palace at the bottom of an ocean. And it is true you can be entertained quite a bit in the Dragon Palace at the bottom of the ocean. And it is true that you can...(READ MORE)

The Mephitis 4/12/2019 11:09pm

Doctor Argosa

Having a wonderful time at Chichen Itza! The weather has been great, and the warm jungle air has been doing wonders for the crew. There's even been a bit of a breeze to keep things on the cooler side. The Mephitis has been riding the updrafts, taking tourists on short spins around the area. The warm weather gives us just the extra lift we need to chase around the little Thunder Devils, and I've been able to snag three in my array of nets and talismans. They give you a bit of fight once you get t...(READ MORE)

Eyes Without A Face 4/10/2019 7:44pm

Grace Gearhorn

"I don't have the answers," @Claira said. The furry black creature sat in her arms, apparently following our conversation. "It seems aware of the massive phosphorescent Floodspace plankton that we're inside of." "weeeeeeeeeek!" The creature nodded its tiny three-horned head. "It began squeaking just as we encountered the purple protoplasm." "weeeeeeeeeek!" It looked at us with its glowing yellow eyes and cocked its head. "I...(READ MORE)

ol' big balloon 4/8/2019 10:17pm

Cucurbita Pepo

We have discovered more like ourselves. Hundreds, if not thousands, teeming through this city of giants. Their massive orange pumpkin heads nod as they pass, riding atop huge sacred scarecrow skeletons, built of wooden beams and cable. We hear the crews calling to one another from within... "Left arm, position nine, extend to 135 degrees!"Aye aye, left arm, position nine, extend to 135 degrees!!" up and down the nervous system chain of command. So many monstrosities, bustling...(READ MORE)

Egregore 4/6/2019 10:40pm

Rose Nomenclature

Ship's Log: Grabbed some quick pick-up work because we're in the neighborhood. The Egregore carries a Grade 7 Artifactual Containment and Control Rating, which is the only choice for the discerning collector. I run a tight ship, and the added safety is absolutely worth the fee I charge. But can you really put a price on resting easy? Is any fee too high to ensure the safety of a city block, or whatever the potential blast radius of your eldritch time bomb is? Or to prevent the unleashing forces...(READ MORE)

Spatuloso 4/4/2019 9:24pm

Auto Slops

Blimps making blimps. Out in the open! No more secret societies, hiding behind closed hangar doors. At least that's how the old timers tell it. I've never lived in a world where blimps didn't make blimps, but I guess not that long ago that wasn't how it was. The Blueshard Shipyards are bustling with blimps and people alike, working together to create the best technology we can. The Shipyard doesn't compete for contracts--it creates designs everyone can use. Investment in it is purely for the...(READ MORE)

Microwave Explosion 4/2/2019 7:58pm

Curious Curios Inc.

Oh my god they've got clones loose. I really should have checked the ship's history before allowing them to transport the Chinese Lightning Box. Apparently there was some kind of Biofilm accident in the recent past, and now the ship is starting to double itself. Starting with the crew. Or at least one particular, unkept, odd, likely socially awkward and ripe smelling crew member, who has filled the bridge with copies of himself! All wearing the same smudged blue jumpsuit too. This doesn't...(READ MORE)

Golden Stone 3/31/2019 10:19pm

Billie Billet

Can I see your golden airship ticket, please? I'm afraid your passport has expired. Do you have a second piece of identification? Some gold perhaps? Gold is the language of the skies, and if you want to fly you'll speak it to me! I'm Billie Billet, Airship Ticket and Check in Agent for the Golden Stone. And I'll need to see your child's birth certificate. How many bags are you checking? Are they filled with gold? Will you be bringing a carry-on bag? Did you bring a warm wrap for the c...(READ MORE)

The Flying Comrade 3/29/2019 10:43pm

Ben Tater

The giant guinea pigs have really taken the to VR--they're already programming their own games! I've been spending time in their virtual world (I have to remove my giant guinea pig mask to get it on my head, but none of the others noticed because they've been spending all of their time jacked in). I'm making my way in right now... a real classic cyberpunk virtual landscape, with long neon blue lines running like a freeway through the darkness, to some kind of group of skyscrapers constructed...(READ MORE)

Albion 3/27/2019 8:21pm

Magnus Arquebus

Through the rather ornate Termination and Breach clause in our contract with the Albion, we, Enormous Hives, LLC, have assumed control of the ship. The original crew had abandoned ship as the Giant Bees began to build their hive around it on Storm Mountain, and the one good thing about the attack of the Giant Crab Spiders is that they left a hole in the hive big enough to fly the ship through to safety! Which is why I, Magnus Arequebus, now stand at the rather sticky wheel of the airship Albi...(READ MORE)

Dragon's Tooth 11/4/2018 8:27pm

Clammy Hamsphere

The ads for the mid-season finale of MERMAID IMPERIUM: THE RISE OF GRA’THUL are like a glam rock super battle of the bands, where everybody's got guitars that look like axes and swords and there are towers of flames and Marshall stacks and giant metal fishboots. My brother doesn't like hair metal so he's been dissing the show, saying that they've "jumped the shark" and doing whatever they can to "turn it up to eleven." But there's still no way he'd miss it. We're saving...(READ MORE)

Conquest 10/23/2018 11:57pm


Might be something with the transmission, but somethings going wrong. I don't think anything is getting through. If it is, I really need that job done, but it isn't showing up. I don't think the managers know that I'm kinda stuck. well, help if you can....(READ MORE)

Atlas 10/11/2018 11:39pm

Alex Marleybone

The Resurfacing has been accomplished with hardly a dent to the army. The Desert Arachni were admittedly reluctant to face defeat, and some good men had been lost to the gracious cause. Their deaths were not in vain, however. The breach into the ancient surface had been successful, despite the sacrifice of some beautiful ruins. When witnessing such destruction had reminded me of the previous memories of attending expeditions with my old crew mates, and how we planned months to reach here. Since...(READ MORE)

Ventura 7/23/2018 8:47pm

Olivia Diaz

It's so satisfying to have one's theories proven true. If only there was some way to share it with the people back home! And by home, of course, I mean Earth. We were prepared for this, and had been transmitting data back to HQ up till the very last minute. No doubt the last of it got a bit garbled in some interesting ways, but hopefully they'll find something useful in it. But the fact remains that our theories about the Brane were correct--that by reuniting it with its entangled partn...(READ MORE)

The Savage 5/31/2018 3:20pm

captain ryan

My ship is a savage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...(READ MORE)

The Knight Snug 4/29/2018 5:26pm



The Holy Bibbizle 4/29/2018 2:32am

Grape Man Jones

God bless The Holy Bibbizle...(READ MORE)

Coney Island Baby 2/5/2018 8:10pm

Lou Grass

Welcome Aboard!...(READ MORE)

Claudette 2/3/2018 11:18pm

Melinda Artaud

Silver Springs Capital Management was thrilled to have our oversupply of R's, S's, and T's removed from circulation from Orbis Eruditi, but our books show that we still owe the Claudette for the removal. Our attempts at remittance to your Accounts Receivable have gone unanswered. Is there another way we should be paying you? We have 75 capital vowels of various denominations still awaiting your acceptance on our docks, and are ready to send them to any accredited grapheme logography of your choo...(READ MORE)

Invictus 2/2/2018 11:08pm

Nathan Hill

To the Crew of the Invictus: the Labour of the Squirrels remains in the clearing southwest of the Seat of the Squirrels, capitol of the Squirrel Kingdom. We were under the impression that you were removing them from the clearing and transporting them to the Animal Arts & Crafts Faire in Wilderbrook. Did we misunderstand? Should we engage the services of a different owner-operated franchisee member of Zephyr Air Transport to contract this work to? A side benefit, however, to this delay in...(READ MORE)

Viola Ventura 1/30/2018 1:28pm

Little Bo Johnson

Here at Viola Ventura we're capable of removing any kind of wreckage from any kind of place. Our ship is currently being refueled for the trip. We will arrive in 20 to 30 hours....(READ MORE)

USS Bizzle 1/25/2018 8:54am

Ronald Baldwin

Bizzle is here to run ish...(READ MORE)

Alis Gloriae 1/25/2018 4:53am


Captain's Log: 1/25/18 Currently on our way to Oslo to receive repairs. All cargo-workers involved in the sandwich incident have been sacked. Have sent an official apology out. Veedle...(READ MORE)

Shining Machine 1/24/2018 8:18pm

Ricky VII

- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .-.. .--. / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- / .-. . .- ... --- -. / - --- / ..-. .-.. -.-- / ..-. --- .-. . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / --- .... / ... - --- .--. / - .... . / -- --- ..- -. - .- .. -. ... / .- .-. . / .--- ..- ... - / ... --- / ...- . .-. -.-- /...(READ MORE)

Voyager 1/23/2018 8:01pm

Captain Annie

After a few long years of training, I finally have the skills to be captain of my mother's airship. I accept this as my first job as captain of the Voyager!...(READ MORE)

The Chiron 1/22/2018 5:41am

Wind Ghosts

22/01 - Delivery successful, no major incidents to report. Cargo has been taken off ship by handlers. On our way back to home base...(READ MORE)

Nemesis 1/20/2018 2:47pm


This cat is wanted dead or alive, so that's how I'll deliver it!...(READ MORE)

Steel Aurora 1/19/2018 10:34am


the north koreans are getting a little upsetti at the lack of confetti i would have gotten the fuel by now but im duct taped to the bow........(READ MORE)

Night Pigeon 1/15/2018 5:09am

Dvorak Iahdl

Just accepted a job so I guess I’m taking flight....(READ MORE)

The Flying Captain 1/14/2018 6:23am


Free confetti...(READ MORE)

Solstice 1/12/2018 12:38am


Finally loaded and leaving Thailand. The Solstice will be headed to New York where we have the most peculiar drop off instructions. Under any dumpster. What on earth could the buyer be doing that he has the free time to check under every dumpster in New York City. But who am I to argue?...(READ MORE)

Der Puce Wal 1/11/2018 3:10am

DeMarcus J. Tyree II

Der Puce Wal ist betriebsbereit und bessere Tage liegen vor uns! Capt. D.J Tyree II is ready and willing to transport any and all gadgets, thingamajigs, doodads, whatsits, and gizmos no matter how dangerous or bizarrely worded. However, under NO circumstance will the honorable captain be liable to transport gubbins or ROUS....(READ MORE)