Thot Slayer 6/19/2019 8:41pm


Well, I can't say much about the castaways' manners, but I am a bit relieved to have their slimy handprints off all the mahogany and brass. As soon as we made sight of Port Nelson, it was plop plop plop as they walked straight out the main passenger doors and straight down into the ocean below. I guess they must be good swimmers! I'm afraid I didn't see any of them pop up for air though. I've gone ahead and docked the Thot Slayer, made sure the drooling, gibbering crew was locked away saf...(READ MORE)

Battle Bus 6/17/2019 9:22pm

Fritz Camembert

My inscrutable business partner has truly lost his mind. Under most conditions I would have alerted the Interzonal Police, and the Society of Ancient and Collectable Trading Cards, DMT, as well as everyone else in my formidable sky-rolodex, about such a heinous and insufferable act. But the @Pomme Contrebandier, as absurd and ridiculous as his mere existence can be, also has unique skills. And he is impulsive at times. He has taken the "Let us Secure this Bread" airship card an...(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai 6/15/2019 8:42pm

Billy Sabab

Le Bullfrog was making the crew uneasy. "Sir. The passenger is making the crew uneasy." "What's the problem, Shipman Eva? I mean, I know he's kinda sweaty..." "He lurks. Sir." Shipman Eva had me there. "But hey! Destiny City! You always wanted to go, right? They've got great museums...." "Sir, could we request that the passenger remain confined to his quarters?" Shipman Eva was putting me in a kind of bind. Le Bullfrog agreed...(READ MORE)

Araceli 6/13/2019 10:43pm

Jimmy Three-hands

"Well," I said, "It all started when I was just a little tri-pod, tricycling around the Tri-cities. At every three-way intersection, there was the great big face of the Three-way God, with his three great big green eyes, his three enormous ears, his three button noses, and his three forked tongues, slipping out between this three long, white fangs. The Three-way God's face hovered over each intersection, directing the three-wheelers to stop and to go. "STOP!" he roare...(READ MORE)

The Mephitis 6/11/2019 10:14pm

Captain Pirate II

"I don't always drink Kahlua in my coffee, but when I do, it's in the morning." CUT! TAKE 42* "Being an airship captain means both being alert AND inebriated at the oddest hours." CUT! TAKE 54* "Drunk and jittery? Welcome to my life!" CUT! LET'S TAKE FIVE EVERYBODY!* *translated from the Japanese This sounded like some easy publicity, plus a bit of bounty on the side for the Captain. Oh, I would have thrown a party for the crew with most of it....(READ MORE)

Eyes Without A Face 6/9/2019 10:45pm

Grace Gearhorn

The aurorae are always something a Floodspace sailor sees from a distance. Or at least they should be. Those that have gone in close have never come back, on account of the Drain. We're all caught up in it, all the Island Worlds and Island Suns, slowly, ever so slowly, making our way in a grand slow dance around the Drain. The eggheads say it takes a thousand years to go around it just one time. Plenty of time to enjoy life, create civilizations, go about your business. And now we're head...(READ MORE)

ol' big balloon 6/7/2019 10:25pm

Gladys Pompon

Oh my, don’t those look delicious! They’re like little orange pumpkins, aren’t they? And all packed neatly in their little egg carton rows. Are they from Asia? No? May I take one? I just want to plop one right into my mouth, they look so soft and tasty. Ooooooh I bet they taste like candy corn, don’t they. Please, I must have one. Give one to me. Give it to me now....(READ MORE)

Egregore 6/5/2019 8:54pm

Rose Nomenclature

Grade 7 Artifactual Containment and Control is great against sinister and uncanny forces, but not necessarily waterproof. Or even water resistant. So it was really the worst time to be blindsided by a typhoonette while skimming the waters of Skrizoom, trying to shoot the needle. On a clear day at low tide, clearing the arches is child's play. Plush, it shaves hours off the long way around. But somewhere between the gale-force winds shattering the windscreen, the torrential downpour that came...(READ MORE)

Spatuloso 6/3/2019 10:19pm

Soap Lotus

It just goes to show that if you just put your mind to it and work hard, anybody can be the kingpin of a criminal empire. Sure, this criminal empire only encompasses one, coconut palm filled island. But what better an empire than paradise? Paradise for myself, Leroy, Burt, Scarred Lil, Jimmy the Put Up, Little Gnarls, and PJ that is. Poor Evenander the Psychic didn't make it. Never saw it coming, I'm afraid. Which may speak more to Evenander's shortcomings more than anything else. But n...(READ MORE)

Microwave Explosion 6/1/2019 11:43pm

Curious Curios Inc.

Through the crack left open in the Chinese Lightning Box, I can see and hear just enough to see that the clone crew has accepted the delivery to the Magician's Union Hall in Poughkeepsie. They're actually better than the original crew, seamlessly working together to a common purpose. Why don't we have more clone crews? I don't understand the laws against them, given their obvious efficiency. At this rate. we'll be at the Magician's Union Hall in no time....(READ MORE)

Golden Stone 5/30/2019 9:17pm

Donald R. Stephenson

White gold wielder, fissure crack healer, precious metal pot dealer, golden treasure mender... Sometimes you've abused your gold and haven't kept it cold, and it lands in our hold looking crusty and old. Who's a gonna fix it? Who's a gonna kiss that gold and make it better? That's right, it's me, Dr. Donald R. Stephenson, gold metal whisperer and icy lip kisser. My breath warms the cracks just enough to smudge, and I let my fingers do the rest. I'll massage your gold the whole night through, and...(READ MORE)

The Flying Comrade 5/28/2019 10:50pm

Ben Tater

The giant guinea pigs have purchased a chunk of VR rackspace, dankweb addresses, redundant air-gapped power sources, and some surplus reality generator equipment from the Psychic School District. It's easier for them to make appointments and video calls from inside the interface, since translation and avatar creation comes with the system, so they've had no problem turning their pet-store mined cryptocurrency into a legion of bankers, network hardware sales techs, and international logistics fir...(READ MORE)

Albion 5/26/2019 11:08pm

Magnus Arquebus

Airshipmechanic apprentice @Eve is certainly a genius when it comes to hydraulics, and she certainly deserves all the attention she's been getting as the hero of Oak Cliff, the one who liberated the town from the giant White Crab spiders. But her map reading skills could use some work! And how exactly she was able to confuse imitation maple syrup with artisanal foaming soap is hard to imagine. Still, her accidental solution to the spider problem exceeded the expectations of this captain, as...(READ MORE)

The Useless Precaution 5/24/2019 10:34pm

Count Almaviva

E così è stato che la nostra ricerca era completa. Non c'erano chef in questo più vecchio forno per la cottura dei biscotti, solo quegli esseri sensibili che provenivano da esso, gli uomini di pan di zenzero. Perché una volta imparata la loro provenienza e il loro punto di vista, era impossibile negarli. Abbiamo capito i loro nuclei umidi e gommosi. Sebbene fossero cotti da soli, sapevamo che non c'erano altri più vicini al vero fuoco della creazione. Il loro pane si è fatto carne. E la...(READ MORE)

The Sadie Hawkins 5/22/2019 10:36pm

Billy Nails

First time sorting interdimensional mail, kid? Yeah I can tell. It's less about trying to figure out what all these scribbles mean and more about just a feeling. Like that one. Hold it in your hand, close your eyes, and take a breath. Is it near or far? If it's far, though it over there. If it's near, drop it right in front of you. Now, how near? Nearer than the last one? Just trust your gut. The thing is, we've got Lilix's mail from that Psychic High School, and now we've got an increasing amou...(READ MORE)

Dragon's Tooth 11/4/2018 8:27pm

Clammy Hamsphere

The ads for the mid-season finale of MERMAID IMPERIUM: THE RISE OF GRA’THUL are like a glam rock super battle of the bands, where everybody's got guitars that look like axes and swords and there are towers of flames and Marshall stacks and giant metal fishboots. My brother doesn't like hair metal so he's been dissing the show, saying that they've "jumped the shark" and doing whatever they can to "turn it up to eleven." But there's still no way he'd miss it. We're saving...(READ MORE)

Conquest 10/23/2018 11:57pm


Might be something with the transmission, but somethings going wrong. I don't think anything is getting through. If it is, I really need that job done, but it isn't showing up. I don't think the managers know that I'm kinda stuck. well, help if you can....(READ MORE)

Atlas 10/11/2018 11:39pm

Alex Marleybone

The Resurfacing has been accomplished with hardly a dent to the army. The Desert Arachni were admittedly reluctant to face defeat, and some good men had been lost to the gracious cause. Their deaths were not in vain, however. The breach into the ancient surface had been successful, despite the sacrifice of some beautiful ruins. When witnessing such destruction had reminded me of the previous memories of attending expeditions with my old crew mates, and how we planned months to reach here. Since...(READ MORE)

Ventura 7/23/2018 8:47pm

Olivia Diaz

It's so satisfying to have one's theories proven true. If only there was some way to share it with the people back home! And by home, of course, I mean Earth. We were prepared for this, and had been transmitting data back to HQ up till the very last minute. No doubt the last of it got a bit garbled in some interesting ways, but hopefully they'll find something useful in it. But the fact remains that our theories about the Brane were correct--that by reuniting it with its entangled partn...(READ MORE)

The Savage 5/31/2018 3:20pm

captain ryan

My ship is a savage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...(READ MORE)

The Knight Snug 4/29/2018 5:26pm



The Holy Bibbizle 4/29/2018 2:32am

Grape Man Jones

God bless The Holy Bibbizle...(READ MORE)

Coney Island Baby 2/5/2018 8:10pm

Lou Grass

Welcome Aboard!...(READ MORE)

Claudette 2/3/2018 11:18pm

Melinda Artaud

Silver Springs Capital Management was thrilled to have our oversupply of R's, S's, and T's removed from circulation from Orbis Eruditi, but our books show that we still owe the Claudette for the removal. Our attempts at remittance to your Accounts Receivable have gone unanswered. Is there another way we should be paying you? We have 75 capital vowels of various denominations still awaiting your acceptance on our docks, and are ready to send them to any accredited grapheme logography of your choo...(READ MORE)

Invictus 2/2/2018 11:08pm

Nathan Hill

To the Crew of the Invictus: the Labour of the Squirrels remains in the clearing southwest of the Seat of the Squirrels, capitol of the Squirrel Kingdom. We were under the impression that you were removing them from the clearing and transporting them to the Animal Arts & Crafts Faire in Wilderbrook. Did we misunderstand? Should we engage the services of a different owner-operated franchisee member of Zephyr Air Transport to contract this work to? A side benefit, however, to this delay in...(READ MORE)

Viola Ventura 1/30/2018 1:28pm

Little Bo Johnson

Here at Viola Ventura we're capable of removing any kind of wreckage from any kind of place. Our ship is currently being refueled for the trip. We will arrive in 20 to 30 hours....(READ MORE)

USS Bizzle 1/25/2018 8:54am

Ronald Baldwin

Bizzle is here to run ish...(READ MORE)

Alis Gloriae 1/25/2018 4:53am


Captain's Log: 1/25/18 Currently on our way to Oslo to receive repairs. All cargo-workers involved in the sandwich incident have been sacked. Have sent an official apology out. Veedle...(READ MORE)

Shining Machine 1/24/2018 8:18pm

Ricky VII

- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .-.. .--. / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- / .-. . .- ... --- -. / - --- / ..-. .-.. -.-- / ..-. --- .-. . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / --- .... / ... - --- .--. / - .... . / -- --- ..- -. - .- .. -. ... / .- .-. . / .--- ..- ... - / ... --- / ...- . .-. -.-- /...(READ MORE)

Voyager 1/23/2018 8:01pm

Captain Annie

After a few long years of training, I finally have the skills to be captain of my mother's airship. I accept this as my first job as captain of the Voyager!...(READ MORE)

The Chiron 1/22/2018 5:41am

Wind Ghosts

22/01 - Delivery successful, no major incidents to report. Cargo has been taken off ship by handlers. On our way back to home base...(READ MORE)

Nemesis 1/20/2018 2:47pm


This cat is wanted dead or alive, so that's how I'll deliver it!...(READ MORE)

Steel Aurora 1/19/2018 10:34am


the north koreans are getting a little upsetti at the lack of confetti i would have gotten the fuel by now but im duct taped to the bow........(READ MORE)

Night Pigeon 1/15/2018 5:09am

Dvorak Iahdl

Just accepted a job so I guess I’m taking flight....(READ MORE)

The Flying Captain 1/14/2018 6:23am


Free confetti...(READ MORE)

Solstice 1/12/2018 12:38am


Finally loaded and leaving Thailand. The Solstice will be headed to New York where we have the most peculiar drop off instructions. Under any dumpster. What on earth could the buyer be doing that he has the free time to check under every dumpster in New York City. But who am I to argue?...(READ MORE)

Der Puce Wal 1/11/2018 3:10am

DeMarcus J. Tyree II

Der Puce Wal ist betriebsbereit und bessere Tage liegen vor uns! Capt. D.J Tyree II is ready and willing to transport any and all gadgets, thingamajigs, doodads, whatsits, and gizmos no matter how dangerous or bizarrely worded. However, under NO circumstance will the honorable captain be liable to transport gubbins or ROUS....(READ MORE)