The Sadie Hawkins 8/20/2019 10:50pm

Billy Nails

Have you started to sense the pattern, kid? Where all these Psyhigh penpal mails are landing? No? Well, you'll get a feel for stellar cartography as you go, but take a look at my wall. Yes, it's ok if you move the curtain, kid. There. You can see I've pinned the location of every address we've dropped one of the Lilx letters off at, and then I connected them with golden yarn. Yes, it is a bit like string art. But that just helps point out how the distribution is *too* regular. Now, a random dist...(READ MORE)

Thot Slayer 8/18/2019 10:42pm


Checked on the crew. They appear no more ready to assume their positions on the ship than before, still gibbering and drooling in the hold of the Thot Slayer, but are able to assemble peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on their own with the materials I laid out for them. They are also now able to attend to themselves in the WC which let me tell you is a big relief. Since Port Nelson seems like such a nexus for enforcing regulations against the inhumanely desiccated and potentially possessed...(READ MORE)

WonderFly9000 8/16/2019 10:14pm


We hunt. My sisters and I. We are of the dawn. We wake and sleep and are awakened. Why has our sleep been disturbed? Now our abomination is sleep. We rise with the sun. Our bodies wrapped in linens and in resin. Now in tatters and disrepair. Yet we will not decay. We will not rot. Our eyes are keen and claws are sharp and we will catch by night....(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai 8/14/2019 11:14pm

Billy Sabab

"Keep your distance, Shipman Eva." "Aye captain." "But not too far. We need to beat it to the docks." "Aye captain." "But make sure it doesn't swing out and hit us with a fin or something." "AYE AYE captain!" The Fossilized Fish Skeleton wasn't fossilized any more. Or a skeleton. It was a gigantic prehistoric armor-plated fish-shaped killing machine, bigger than the buildings in downtown Destiny City. It was using its...(READ MORE)

Araceli 8/12/2019 10:11pm

Jimmy Three-hands

Three Mile Road was said to be a lonely road. I will tell you that. It was said to be the straightest road. It was said to be the flatest road. And it was said to be the most boring road there ever was. But I will tell you what. Growing up in the Tri-cities, where everyone's got one, two, three different ideas about everything, you get used to seeing everything from three different directions. And you could take little Jimmy Three-hands out of the Tri-cities, out of the Three Great Nations,...(READ MORE)

The Mephitis 8/10/2019 10:03pm

choco loni

when the captain has the japanese camera crew busy doing his lines, the doctor and i have been letting the little thunderdevil get a bit of exercise off the port bow. generally it stays near the ship, scooping up the iron-enriched dust the doctor tosses out like fish food. when it starts to stray i shoot off a whirlwind bullet that i've notched to give it a full loop trajectory. as it makes its curve, the little devil follows it all the way around back to the observation balcony where i catch th...(READ MORE)

Eyes Without A Face 8/8/2019 10:17pm

Grace Gearhorn

"Purge the Murk!" "Purging the Murk." "Set Secondary Seal!" "Setting Secondary Seal." "Airlock complete, mam." "Open the gates, Mr. Charmers." "Aye aye, mam." The massive, ancient iris valve was rusty, but it hadn't seized up. With a creak and a wheeze, it dilated. To our surprise, nothing came out but a dusty puff of air. "Leave your diving helmets on, lads. There could still have been compartment...(READ MORE)

ol' big balloon 8/5/2019 9:03pm

Gladys Pompon

Ooooo and what do we have here? They’re like little ants... so tiny! I want one. Or maybe a whole handful. Are they sweet or sour? Look how they run around on their own like that. I’ll bet they’re licorice, aren’t they? That’s it. Or like Sen-Sen! You can’t get those anymore you know. I have to have them. In my mouth. Now....(READ MORE)

Egregore 8/3/2019 11:06pm

Rose Nomenclature

I was at the cafe in the Unnatural History Museum when things exploded. Luckily it was on the first floor so we had time to run outside with our lattes as the building collapsed, and were safely across the street in time to see the massively previously-extinct Mesozoic-relative creature floundering to life, chomping and crashing and gasping for air as it destroyed the building. Somebody must have gotten that fossilized fish skeleton wet. Just glad it wasn't me. Boulders of concrete and por...(READ MORE)

Spatuloso 8/1/2019 10:44pm

Lasso Pout

Well those bandits weren't anticipating a flying chuckwagon I will tell you that! The pesky varmints were mighty hungry though. Usually rustlers keep to the shadows, peeling off the herd and absconding in the dark, so it was mighty unusual to have them make a try for a chuckwagon. Turned out they'd been starving--didn't even know how to skin and cook a calf, apparently. They claim to be vegetarians, and it was the beans they were after. This was a discourse that didn't occur till I lifted of...(READ MORE)

Microwave Explosion 7/30/2019 10:24pm

Curious Curios Inc.

The footage, as by now everyone has seen, was horrific. The Microwave Explosion on its descent into Poughkeepsie with the never ending stream of bodies pouring out of its hatches. The Cloning Governance Administration quickly identified it as a threat and sent in Twig Teams to deal with cleanup and disposal. Truckloads of broken bodies--all identical of course--were gathered from its path, and the Microwave Explosion was contained in a CGA superlifter. I'm sure all survivors--clone or not--were...(READ MORE)

Golden Stone 7/28/2019 11:02pm

Squawky McWaddles

Did somebody say @Squawky McWaddles? That's me! Penguin Pvt. First Class Squawky McWaddles, racing round this floating ice rink bussing tables with the other Penguin Privates, moving sheets of ice for windowpanes, delivering eggs from the Snow Chickens, and serving ice-cold martinis to those over 21. On top of being c-c-c-cold, the Golden Stone is old, and quite expansive, and we've only just returned from our circumnavigation of the pole! We scaled frozen waterfalls up bifurcated stairs, pulled...(READ MORE)

The Flying Comrade 7/26/2019 11:38pm

Ben Tater

We speed through light beams, camouflaged as innocent data. Time spent on the virtual beach hadn't prepared me for this. There it was all sunscreen and pita bread sandwiches, sand between our toes, sunsets and gulls. It was just virtually created sensorium too, but so realistic you never thought about it. Now we were as close as we could be to the reality of data. Binary constructions moving at the speed of light, a flotsam of packets getting routed and tossed through a series of interchan...(READ MORE)

Albion 7/24/2019 8:54pm

Magnus Arquebus

I never should have sent @Eve and her crew to chisel the syrup. I never should have taken my eyes off the horizon, searching for sandstorms. Instead of daydreaming about bees. I never should have taken the Albion into the Deep Dessert. But if it wasn't for airshipmechanic apprentice @Eve, more lives may have been lost. More than just hers. When @Eve saw the sandstorm approaching, she began sending her clean-up crew up the ropes. There they all were, dangling off the hull, hammers and chise...(READ MORE)

The Useless Precaution 7/22/2019 11:23pm

Count Almaviva

Devi essere sicuro che sia pazzo a rinunciare alla gioia sensuale estatica di quei primi biscotti e cercare i biscotti senza briciole. Niente briciole! Mamma mia! E senza briciole, sì, niente odori! e senza gusto! Eppure, te lo assicuro, questi sono i biscotti più dolci di tutti. Questo va oltre il regno del semplice mito, tuttavia, nessun grembiule e mattarello folcloristici. Né è scienza, con la sua assurda gastronomia e piccole porzioni. Prezzemolo liofilizzato e un conto ridicolo! No,...(READ MORE)

Battle Bus 6/17/2019 9:22pm

Fritz Camembert

My inscrutable business partner has truly lost his mind. Under most conditions I would have alerted the Interzonal Police, and the Society of Ancient and Collectable Trading Cards, DMT, as well as everyone else in my formidable sky-rolodex, about such a heinous and insufferable act. But the @Pomme Contrebandier, as absurd and ridiculous as his mere existence can be, also has unique skills. And he is impulsive at times. He has taken the "Let us Secure this Bread" airship card an...(READ MORE)

Dragon's Tooth 11/4/2018 8:27pm

Clammy Hamsphere

The ads for the mid-season finale of MERMAID IMPERIUM: THE RISE OF GRA’THUL are like a glam rock super battle of the bands, where everybody's got guitars that look like axes and swords and there are towers of flames and Marshall stacks and giant metal fishboots. My brother doesn't like hair metal so he's been dissing the show, saying that they've "jumped the shark" and doing whatever they can to "turn it up to eleven." But there's still no way he'd miss it. We're saving...(READ MORE)

Conquest 10/23/2018 11:57pm


Might be something with the transmission, but somethings going wrong. I don't think anything is getting through. If it is, I really need that job done, but it isn't showing up. I don't think the managers know that I'm kinda stuck. well, help if you can....(READ MORE)

Atlas 10/11/2018 11:39pm

Alex Marleybone

The Resurfacing has been accomplished with hardly a dent to the army. The Desert Arachni were admittedly reluctant to face defeat, and some good men had been lost to the gracious cause. Their deaths were not in vain, however. The breach into the ancient surface had been successful, despite the sacrifice of some beautiful ruins. When witnessing such destruction had reminded me of the previous memories of attending expeditions with my old crew mates, and how we planned months to reach here. Since...(READ MORE)

Ventura 7/23/2018 8:47pm

Olivia Diaz

It's so satisfying to have one's theories proven true. If only there was some way to share it with the people back home! And by home, of course, I mean Earth. We were prepared for this, and had been transmitting data back to HQ up till the very last minute. No doubt the last of it got a bit garbled in some interesting ways, but hopefully they'll find something useful in it. But the fact remains that our theories about the Brane were correct--that by reuniting it with its entangled partn...(READ MORE)

The Savage 5/31/2018 3:20pm

captain ryan

My ship is a savage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...(READ MORE)

The Knight Snug 4/29/2018 5:26pm



The Holy Bibbizle 4/29/2018 2:32am

Grape Man Jones

God bless The Holy Bibbizle...(READ MORE)

Coney Island Baby 2/5/2018 8:10pm

Lou Grass

Welcome Aboard!...(READ MORE)

Claudette 2/3/2018 11:18pm

Melinda Artaud

Silver Springs Capital Management was thrilled to have our oversupply of R's, S's, and T's removed from circulation from Orbis Eruditi, but our books show that we still owe the Claudette for the removal. Our attempts at remittance to your Accounts Receivable have gone unanswered. Is there another way we should be paying you? We have 75 capital vowels of various denominations still awaiting your acceptance on our docks, and are ready to send them to any accredited grapheme logography of your choo...(READ MORE)

Invictus 2/2/2018 11:08pm

Nathan Hill

To the Crew of the Invictus: the Labour of the Squirrels remains in the clearing southwest of the Seat of the Squirrels, capitol of the Squirrel Kingdom. We were under the impression that you were removing them from the clearing and transporting them to the Animal Arts & Crafts Faire in Wilderbrook. Did we misunderstand? Should we engage the services of a different owner-operated franchisee member of Zephyr Air Transport to contract this work to? A side benefit, however, to this delay in...(READ MORE)

Viola Ventura 1/30/2018 1:28pm

Little Bo Johnson

Here at Viola Ventura we're capable of removing any kind of wreckage from any kind of place. Our ship is currently being refueled for the trip. We will arrive in 20 to 30 hours....(READ MORE)

USS Bizzle 1/25/2018 8:54am

Ronald Baldwin

Bizzle is here to run ish...(READ MORE)

Alis Gloriae 1/25/2018 4:53am


Captain's Log: 1/25/18 Currently on our way to Oslo to receive repairs. All cargo-workers involved in the sandwich incident have been sacked. Have sent an official apology out. Veedle...(READ MORE)

Shining Machine 1/24/2018 8:18pm

Ricky VII

- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .-.. .--. / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- / .-. . .- ... --- -. / - --- / ..-. .-.. -.-- / ..-. --- .-. . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / --- .... / ... - --- .--. / - .... . / -- --- ..- -. - .- .. -. ... / .- .-. . / .--- ..- ... - / ... --- / ...- . .-. -.-- /...(READ MORE)

Voyager 1/23/2018 8:01pm

Captain Annie

After a few long years of training, I finally have the skills to be captain of my mother's airship. I accept this as my first job as captain of the Voyager!...(READ MORE)

The Chiron 1/22/2018 5:41am

Wind Ghosts

22/01 - Delivery successful, no major incidents to report. Cargo has been taken off ship by handlers. On our way back to home base...(READ MORE)

Nemesis 1/20/2018 2:47pm


This cat is wanted dead or alive, so that's how I'll deliver it!...(READ MORE)

Steel Aurora 1/19/2018 10:34am


the north koreans are getting a little upsetti at the lack of confetti i would have gotten the fuel by now but im duct taped to the bow........(READ MORE)

Night Pigeon 1/15/2018 5:09am

Dvorak Iahdl

Just accepted a job so I guess I’m taking flight....(READ MORE)

The Flying Captain 1/14/2018 6:23am


Free confetti...(READ MORE)

Solstice 1/12/2018 12:38am


Finally loaded and leaving Thailand. The Solstice will be headed to New York where we have the most peculiar drop off instructions. Under any dumpster. What on earth could the buyer be doing that he has the free time to check under every dumpster in New York City. But who am I to argue?...(READ MORE)

Der Puce Wal 1/11/2018 3:10am

DeMarcus J. Tyree II

Der Puce Wal ist betriebsbereit und bessere Tage liegen vor uns! Capt. D.J Tyree II is ready and willing to transport any and all gadgets, thingamajigs, doodads, whatsits, and gizmos no matter how dangerous or bizarrely worded. However, under NO circumstance will the honorable captain be liable to transport gubbins or ROUS....(READ MORE)