Battle Bus

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Fritz Camembert 4/18/2019 9:52pm

My inscrutable business partner and myself are now the proud owners and sole source of one completely authenticated "Let us Secure this Bread" airship card, from the stone age of universe 4A.

How, you may ask, were we able to secure the provenance of such a previously mythical item?

My partner, the obtuse and generally insufferable @Pomme Contrebandier, has a wealth of otherwise useless knowledge concerning paper stock, printing methods, and the particularities of various full-color press machines... knowledge that is otherwise worthless in respectable circles, but serves my purposes when considering the acquisition of rare trading cards representing historical airships, or, in this case, radical ancient baking techniques.

The House of Cards is now accepting bids. While the Rotting Worm Card and Comics Faire has concluded, Monsieur Contrebandier and myself will be remaining at our temporary lodgings in Old Habitsform for a short time. Serious enquiries only!

Fritz Camembert
The Card Shark

Pomme Contrebandier 3/19/2019 7:19pm

Le Rotting Worm Card et Comics Faire dans Old Habitsform attirent certainement les travestis. Ou comment l'appellent-ils? Le "cosplay?" Oui, il est difficile de distinguer les vrais pilotes de dirigeable de ceux qui ne jouent que dans l’habillage, la vraie princesse à neuf queues de la dimension Fox de ses imitateurs, les véritables Shuffling Ones de Hopeless Abyss de leurs fans.

Il est plus difficile d’essayer de déterminer lequel est le vrai @Rose Lalonde, capitaine du Battle Bus, et propriétaire - soi-disant - de la très rare carte Laissez-nous sécuriser ce pain.

Nous attendons donc, mon partenaire commercial en sueur et un peu obèse @Fritz Camembert et moi-même, en train de regarder le défilé sans fin de la file de classement croisée devant notre stand (# 1007664a). "Non! Non, ce n'est pas gratuit! Ce sont des objets de collection rares! Shoo, vous, artistes stupides habillés! Des enquêtes sérieuses seulement!"

Fritz Camembert 2/15/2019 7:19pm

After conferring with several colleagues via anonymous chat rooms, we agree to examine your purported "Let us Secure this Bread" airship card, from what it appears to be the stone age, universe 4A, @Rose Lalonde. You can find us at the upcoming Rotting Worm Card and Comics Faire in Old Habitsform, Sector B Subcluster, booth #1007664a. Please do not touch the merchandise.

Anxiously awaiting your reply,

Fritz Camembert
The Card Shark

Pomme Contrebandier 1/14/2019 10:43pm

Ah mais! Tu ne t'en souviens pas, Monsieur Camembert, cet ensemble de cartes de recettes de cuisson tout à fait vierge, jadis tenu dans les tentacules visqueux des têtes couronnées de l’Univers 13b, mais inextricablement perdu dans les "Vagues de Mutilation" de Quarante-neuf Mille Années de Guerre? Cet ensemble contenait en effet une carte de dirigeable "Mettons-nous ce Pain en état", en parfait état, et n'a pas été vue depuis si longtemps.

Pour ma part, je serais très intéressé par ce que Mlle Rose Lelonde peut nous dire sur la manière dont elle a découvert un spécimen aussi rare et fantastique...

Fritz Camembert 12/14/2018 11:20pm

To the Rose it May Concern,

The "Let us Secure this Bread" card has been undocumented and was assumed lost since its last sighting in the 37th era of the Smudging Bard in universe Q14. While there is recognized provenance for the "Kneading of the Bread," the "Salting of the Bread," the "Buttering of the Bread," the "Baking of the Bread," the "Toasting of the Bread", the "Startering of the Sourdough Bread," and the "Snoring of the Beast," it is of the official opinion of the House of Cards that the "Let us Secure this Bread" card can not reasonably assumed to exist, and you, in fact, have a forgery on your hands, either due to your own lack of diligence or intent to defraud.

Before confirming our location and possibly making an appointment, we humbly require some proof of authenticity.

Anxiously awaiting your reply,

Fritz Camembert
The Card Shark

Rose Lalonde 12/10/2018 10:50pm

Dearest Fritz Camembert of The Card Shark,
It appears I have found a trading card of what your description fits. It is the "Let us Secure this Bread" airship card, from what it appears to be the stone age, universe 4A? Nonetheless, I am unsure of how I will get this to The Card Shark dealers for I am in universe 2B. What universe would The Card Shark be in at the moment?

Rose Lalonde
The Battle Bus

Rose Lalonde 12/10/2018 10:45pm

Oh wait wrong voyage, my apologies The Card Shark.

Rose Lalonde 12/10/2018 10:43pm

Attention all gamers,
I had crossed many seas and lands to just secure this bread. It was only a normal sunny day, I woke up to get this bread, per usual. It was going smoothly, I was crossing over the Lantarian Region of Alternia until suddenly, the Furries found me. Gamers, I need your help to get this bread from the Furries' fuzzy, fluffy, filthy paws. Join me on the voyage of the Battle Bus.

The Card Shark - 11/26/2018 10:59am

Job claimed by Rose Lalonde 2018-12-10 22:43:06

We are on the hunt for the rarest and most precious collectible airship trading cards in the Nine Realms. Yes you read that right NINE!!!

The Card Shark is the oldest and most reputable collectible airship trading cards in the Nine Realms. The rare Amos card from the War of the Monkey Pigs campaign? That was us. The original Captian Chairbreaker card? Us to. There's a reason the owners of the most precious collectible airship trading cards trust The Card Shark with their treasures.

If, in your travels, you run across any collectible airship trading cards, The Card Shark will pay the highest quotes you'll find in all the Nine Realms. Well, except for what the Dark and Lonely One is willing to pay, but there are some mighty big strings attached with that one aren't there?!

SO! When you run across those collectible airship trading cards FROM ANY ERA, please put The Card Shark at the top of your list for trusted dealers. We promise to treat you right.


Fritz Camembert
The Card Shark