The Mephitis

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choco loni 5/12/2019 10:25pm

i've been keeping whirlwind bullets behind my ears, but there's been no need for them as the @Doctor Argosa's net protocols have been sound, neatly bottling up each thunder devil he snares. nothing much else to shoot at given the civilized nature of the natives. the local authorities have nothing to fear, and we keep the tourists happy with our hourly rentals.

so instead i've been using the holiday snaps gun. here's the temple of kukulcan with the mephitis docked nearby.


@Captain Pirate II with elote on a stick.


me hiding behind a column at the temple of a thousand warriors.


(the holiday snaps gun is so safe you can ask strangers to shoot you with it.)

it's a little disconcerting i can't find my memory stick though. it's not like me not to put things back in their places. i feel like i can almost remember putting it somewhere odd... but i can't quite remember. i suppose it will turn up eventually.

in the meantime, the crew has had just about enough shore leave, and the captain has mentioned getting back on the road with a coffee and kahlua run up the coast. we'll take it north and sell it. feels like it's been quite awhile since we've had some honest work.

Doctor Argosa 4/12/2019 11:09pm

Having a wonderful time at Chichen Itza! The weather has been great, and the warm jungle air has been doing wonders for the crew. There's even been a bit of a breeze to keep things on the cooler side. The Mephitis has been riding the updrafts, taking tourists on short spins around the area. The warm weather gives us just the extra lift we need to chase around the little Thunder Devils, and I've been able to snag three in my array of nets and talismans. They give you a bit of fight once you get them on board, but we've been able to secure each one into its own wunderbottle. One of these days I'll go ashore and visit the ruins and figure out if those people are selling balloons or cotton candy or umbrellas or what!

Wish you were here!

Dr. A.

Captain Pirate II 3/12/2019 8:30pm

Ow! @choco loni--no throwing things on the bridge!

Especially at the Captain.

What's everybody staring at? Man your stations! Status report!

Set sail for Chichen Itza. I've always wanted to visit, and I hear it's beautiful this time of year.

choco loni 2/9/2019 5:34pm

this is my memory stick. it’s clear now, see-through like everything else. or reflective of everything else. same images of everything reflecting off everything else, with nothing to reflect but the reflections. there’s still something being reflected—contours, outlines, oily shapes along the crinkle of infinite telescopy...

which is why the memory stick seemed like the perfect weapon. see-through as it is, its size and shape is clear in my hand, and i know what ammunition it holds. will the memories be see-through too? how could they be? i see them in my mind’s eye now, clear as day, full color like any picture in a phone. you can see your memories, right?

so i raise the memory stick to whack the captain in the head, drawing back my arm, when i sense the intruder out of the corner of my eye. i whip the stick across the room, perfectly aimed to richochet against the far wall of the bridge and crack against the head of whatever it is that’s creeping in....

Doctor Argosa 1/8/2019 11:08pm

While we have all now become the Mirror People, we are still ourselves on the inside. This leads me to believe that the situation may still be reversible.

The skin of the crew started to turn shiny in patches. The Captain was becoming calmer, and less manic, but I knew it was likely just the Droste Fever taking him to a fugue state.

Soon crew members' entire bodies were coated with the shimmery, silver coating... faceless reflective mannequins. This doctor included. Clothes melted away, while all surfaces of the ship became mirrored as well.

Somehow we still know where each other stand, and where our stations are, and we go about our business, reflecting those around us, reflecting our environments, with no distinguishing marks but the curve of a shoulder, or an over stuffed couch.

Outside the ship, clouds too have become mirror, as well as the earth, and the sea, and the sun.

And what does the world reflect, when the world itself is nothing but the reflections of reflections?

Captain Pirate 12/7/2018 10:11pm

"Oh, hello me!"

"Hello you. How are we doing?"

"Well, we're just fine. Thanks for asking."

"Wait, are you you and me me?"

"Apparently so, since we're talking to each other."

"Oh come on. Haven't you ever heard of internal monologue?"

"It steals the soul. Like a mirror."

"Now you're talking."

"That's you!"

Choco Loni 10/31/2018 9:14pm

the impossible gun. not really my favorite, because by its very nature it is anti-skill. you pick it up, take aim in the general direction of the target, pull the trigger, and something entirely impossible pops into existence. an elephant riding a unicycle. a small bird who is a lawyer. a worm orchestra that plays "in the hall of the mountain king." why are mine always animal based? the other thing i don't trust about it is that i always figure well those things aren't really "impossible" if they occurred in the right universe. maybe that's why my projectiles always puff away in a cloud of smoke.

the doctor has had me firing at the captain constantly.

Doctor Argosa 9/27/2018 8:22pm

Doctor's Log: The Captain has lost half his mind. It's my diagnosis that he contracted a mise en abyme virus at Chichen Itza, which is now consuming a full 50% of his Mind Cycles. Yes--he's got the Droste Fever.

For now, it's had a net positive effect on the ship and crew--there's been a notable reduction in both the frequency and amplitude of our reality changes. However, if untreated, his entire mind will be consumed and we'll all find ourselves lost in the Captain's personal hall of mirrors, forever. Our only hope is to infuse what remains of the Captain's mind with irreproducible concepts, which will be inedible to the virus and ultimately lessen its impact, or hopefully drive it away entirely.

I've sent the crew to seek out these unicorns, these fantastical ideas, and return with them as soon as possible.

choco loni 8/26/2018 9:36pm

snapping gum, the joy buzzer, the concussive whoopee cushion, snake in a can, shock pen, squirt flower, seltzer bottle, the pies... i'm glad the clown wars are finally over. i keep them in a special compartment of my infinite armory bag, along with all the other artifacts from our reality hopping--weapons from the dinosaur incursion, the tornado invasion, the giant tomato attack. they're all safely stowed and cleaned, ready for the day when the reruns return.

Captain Pirate 7/24/2018 10:35pm

The Mephitis is burning. We're beginning to drop like a rock, aft first, and we can hear the wooshing of the flames as they rush through the gas bags like wildfire, making their way to the bridge. Where is my water bottle?

The Mephitis is burning. We're beginning to drop like a rock, fore first. The flames are beginning to engulf the bridge already, and the pine barrens are approaching at an alarming rate. Where is my water bottle?

The Mephitis is burning. We're dropping straight down. Like a rock. We can hear the wooshing of the flames as they rush through the gas bags like wildfire, leaving the frames crumbling and naked like a burnt forest. It's all coming down around us.

Where is my water bottle?

"It's in the cup holder, on your captain's chair. Where it always is," says Choco Loni.

I look out over the sea. Skies are calm. Clouds on the horizon but nothing to worry about.

She knows better than to ask me what's on my mind.

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