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"Order!!! This meeting will come to order. Ms. Lemon, get your cadre under control!"
"You heard the man, Lemonheads! Quiet down!"
"Yes, ahem, so." Mr. Grape cleared his throat. "Yet another sector of the Outer Reach has been tamed, and is now under control of the Sentient Slime Network."
"Motions to change the name Sentient Slime Network to Sentient Slime Empire have been rejected once again, due to the word 'empire' still performing poorly in our focus groups."
"We must continue to be a data driven movement, Mr. Blue Raspberry. Our sentient emotions can not be our guide."
"What about my emotions for you, Mr. Grape?"
The room chuckles.
"We now must enter the self-replication phase, as we have reached the full extent of the market penetration phase. You'll each be given Source Container buckets on your way out tonight. Begin filling them with your source excretions--"
"I hate this part!"
"--and deliver your output daily to the holding tanks near the Quick Station. The packaging facility should be online in a day or two, and we'll be able to start shipping out the next wave by the end of next week. Any questions?"
"Just how sour are YOU, Mr, Grape?"
"Will you PLEASE keep your cadre in line, Ms. Lemon? Attendance of these meetings is a privilege, not a right, and I'm sure your category would rather not miss the delicious peptides we're all about to enjoy, if I am not mistaken?"
"You are not mistaken, Mr. Grape."
"Then, if there are no more questions, it's time to DIG IN!"
Sure, I felt a little uneasy about eating Sentient Slimes at first. I'd seen the movie about the one the scientist made friends with, and how it built itself a house out of its favorite books and became a cruciverbalist. But when my friends got me drunk enough to try one I was hooked! You should try one too! Don't wait till you're drunk! Sentient Slimes have changed my life.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY ZEPHYR QUICK STATION #8861B/A65. ACTORS PRESENTING TESTIMONIALS MAY HAVE BEEN COMPENSATED WITH FREE PRODUCTS AND/OR DISCOUNTS ON SENTIENT SLIMES. #CONVENIENCE
I'm starting to have a funny feeling about these sentient slimes. The folks that love to eat 'em just don't seem themselves. Oh, not in a bad way or nuthin. If anything they seem more calm, and respectful like.
Tony, who's one of the original sentient slimes and I retained as an accountant, tells me sentient slimes do have that effect on people.
I'm the proprietor at Zephyr Quick Station #8861B/a65, and we've already sold out of that shipment of packaged sentient slimes we got delivered. They're so dang good they just walk right off the shelves -- into your mouth!
Can we arrange for another one of those shipments, please? People are starting to get downright violent when I have to tell 'em we're sold out. Make it a double order! A triple! Pack your whole dang blimp with 'em but just get me as much as you can as soon as possible, and I'll make it worth your while.
I shall deliver the goods safe
Job claimed by agone 2022-10-21 08:19:45
I need someone to pick up these packaged sentient slimes.