Dragon's Tooth

earliest post first | most recent post first

Clammy Hamsphere 2/13/2018 10:37pm

The reception on the tiny black and white TV my brothers and I share has been bad, on account of the dark clouds and heavy rain. The lightning strike on the antenna electrocuted many rats and their x-rays were visible on our television and burned into our minds. So we did not see the episode where the Dragon's Tooth returned our ill-gotten treasure maybe they will repeat it during the hiatus.

We saw the preview for "War on the Mermaid Imperium" and it looked really good! But after you defeat them, won't it create a power vacuum and everybody will get sucked up in it like a black hole waterspout, taking more lives in the process and making the entire area off-limits to maritime travel? Would you give the area up to the surrounding warring tribes of Fishfolk, Selkies, or Turtlemen? How would this effect the balance of power in the region?

Now we have to move the TV to my brother's house because it's his turn.

SLYR 2/12/2018 2:41pm

It has been nearly two weeks since my last correspondence with Mr. Clammy Hamsphere, and I fear the worst. The atrocities of the Mermaid Imperium, including but not limited to slavery, intimidation, coercion, witchcraft, disturbance of the peace, and general unpleasantry, shall not continue unchecked.

I hereby declare war upon the Mermaid Imperium, on behalf of loyal customer Clammy Hamsphere!

I do this in full recognition that I am but one, and that the forces of the Mermaid Imperium are known for being among the most vicious in the Galaxy. I shall recruit able hands aboard my ship, willing to strive for the greater good, and overthrow the stronghold of tyranny that is the Mermaid Imperium!

This is SLYR, Captain of the Dragon's Tooth, signing off.

SLYR 1/30/2018 2:47pm

To Mr. Clammy Hamsphere,

I had delivered the cursed jewelry to the Mermaid Imperium a week ago, but with their harsh attitudes and the terrible climate practically tearing up my ship, I was afraid to ask them for a receipt. When I finally got around to asking them, they acted extremely hostile and threatened me, demanding that I leave their empire. I feel as though they want to further punish you for taking the jewelry in the first place, but you have done the right thing by returning it and the curse should henceforth be alleviated, and that doesn't seem to have happened. With that in mind, we here at the Dragon's Tooth believe that the satisfaction of the customer is of utmost importance, so if you so desire, I am prepared to singlehandedly declare war on the Mermaid Imperium to free you from the shackles of your curse.

- Slyr, Captain of the Dragon's Tooth

Clammy Hamsphere 1/28/2018 1:40pm

My brothers and I watched Mermaid Imperium every day this week on our old black and white TV and we still did not see you deliver that old cursed jewelry to them. Did they film the episode but it did not air? We are also watching your show but it is very confusing maybe they are mixing up your seasons.

But what we do know is that our luck has not changed, which means we think maybe you did not deliver the cursed jewelry back to the mermaids yet for us, because if you did deliver them the jewelry then the curse would be lifted and my brothers three and I would not have to live in such cold apartments and we could buy better TVs, and maybe we could each have our own TV instead of having to bring it to each brother's apartment every night to watch our shows.

So please, crew of the Dragon's Tooth, tell us what is happening please! Tell us tails of the Mermaid Imperium and of the return of cursed jewelry! And did you get a receipt?

Sir Edmund Rockwell 1/27/2018 11:04pm

I have begun my expedition to the south pole, where untold riches are rumored to lie. Any brave airship captains are welcome to partake in the, for lack of a better word, "plundering" of the south pole.

SLYR 1/22/2018 7:04pm

You've come to the right place for shipping peppercorns and radioactive material. Is this Sergei? What is the pickup zone? Perhaps you should "wave" to us so that we don't "pass" you by.

okay that was a bad pun but you requested I mention "The Passing of the Waves" and the great ancient library of Google has no information on the matter, a dire situation indeed

SLYR 1/21/2018 8:29pm

I apologize most severely for the delay, Mr. Clammy Hamsphere. My air cruiser had suffered some damage, and we have been repairing it for a while now. Thankfully, the repairs have been completed. I have collected the heirlooms and they shall be delivered to the Mermaid Imperium within the next hour.

Clammy Hamsphere 1/21/2018 5:03pm

I hate to be naggy, Crew of the Dragon's Tooth, but I must inquire as to the status of my order. My identical twin brothers and I have been watching you on our tiny old black and white TV and it doesn't seem like you are on your way to the Mermaid Imperium at all. We watch your show every week and we're big fans and have always wanted to be on it, but every day those pieces of cursed jewelry are not returned to the mermaids is another day of squalor, grime, and cleaning cat boxes for my extended family and I. So we were just wondering. No pressure!

SLYR 1/21/2018 4:21pm

Ah, my concrete from Greece has arrived. My thanks to Captain Sweden of the good ship Ventura. I hope everything aboard your vessel is set right posthaste.

SLYR 1/19/2018 4:36pm

I still have not received my shipment of raw power from the Ventura crew member Captain Sweden. It's rather unprofessional. I must say, some troubling rumors have reached my ears about the conditions on that ship, with a brain in a jar which claims to talk to the moon apparently becoming the ship's new captain, so perhaps they are not entirely to blame. However, any good sky sailor should account for trouble, lest misfortune strike when they least expect it. I await my shipment eagerly.

next 4 >