Microwave Explosionearliest post first | most recent post first
Through the crack left open in the Chinese Lightning Box, I can see and hear just enough to see that the clone crew has accepted the delivery to the Magician's Union Hall in Poughkeepsie. They're actually better than the original crew, seamlessly working together to a common purpose.
Why don't we have more clone crews? I don't understand the laws against them, given their obvious efficiency. At this rate. we'll be at the Magician's Union Hall in no time.
I'd wondered how the ship was sustaining the influx of my clones. They just keep popping out of the woodwork! Jolly good bunch! I just can't get enough of them.
But the ship had originally come with a crew. Not the biggest crew, to be sure, but we had a full compliment.
"What happened to 'em?" I wondered.
Well shame on me, because I've found them all, tied up in broom closets, rolled in rope and gagged. I feel sorry for the lot, but, well, there's a lot more of these clones than there are of me anymore, and I can't risk a mutiny. I think we'll just need to "go with the flow" if you know what I mean.
Full steam ahead! To Poughkeepsie!
Oh my god they've got clones loose.
I really should have checked the ship's history before allowing them to transport the Chinese Lightning Box. Apparently there was some kind of Biofilm accident in the recent past, and now the ship is starting to double itself. Starting with the crew. Or at least one particular, unkept, odd, likely socially awkward and ripe smelling crew member, who has filled the bridge with copies of himself! All wearing the same smudged blue jumpsuit too.
This doesn't bode well for my box getting to the Magician's Union Hall in Poughkeepsie. If only there was some way to warn the captain @Annie Griffin...
The Captain's gone away. Burrowed deep into her own brain no doubt! I saw her heading down the spiral staircase to the library, lost in thought, a million miles away.
Now's the time I live for. Buried in her reverie, the Captain will never notice when I let out my clones!
And so on. They've been multiplying ever since that Biofilm blew up. Didn't want to have to fill out any paperwork over their appearance, so I've been keeping them on the DL from the Captain and the officers. Little do they know the reason I keep the ship running so well is that there are so many of me.
And more every day, it seems.
Anyway, time to drive the ship around a bit. "Steady as she goes, mate!" and "Aye aye, mate!" and all that. Never gets old talking to myself.
But wot's this ornate inlaid box of apparent oriental manufacture doing on the dashboard? There seems to be a man peering through it! Hmmm... it says here "Chinese Lightning Box by @Curious Curios Inc." I wonder wut it could all mean. Hello in there little man!!
I've got a Chinese Lightning Box on this side, and I'm tuning it in so I can see through the Chinese Lighting Box on the other side. It's just this little chromium switch here....
Ah! There we go. Oh my. The Captain, Annie Griffin I believe, has the box open on the bridge of the Microwave Explosion. She has a packet of crisps in her lap and appears to be interacting with her phone. Perhaps if I can adjust the intermodulation just right I can...
"Come in Microwave Explosion! Can you hear me?"
Microwave Explosion Gone Missing!
I'm sure you've seen it on the news,
Hope it's not because they opened the Chinese Lightning Box.
Luckily I had insurance,
Job claimed, Curious Curios Inc.!
Job claimed by Annie Griffin 2018-11-17 15:01:35
Ornate Chinese Lightning Box needs delivery from our world headquarters to the Magician's Union Hall in Poughkeepsie.
Great bags of riches will magically appear once the job is done!
Give us a call on the Linking Rings to set up the deets.
RE: BIOFILM TRANSPORTATION MUTATION EVENT
SIGNALS RECEIVED FROM THE Microwave Explosion INDICATE A REPLICATION CASCADE REPLICATION CASCADE EVENT. 17 HOURS OF BIOFILM OVEREXPOSED. ACTIVATED BY COSMIC RAYS. REFRIGERATED CANISTERS BURST.
THIS IS A BAD THING.
ACCORDING TO OUR MODELS, THE BIOFILM WILL HAVE CONSUMED AND REPLICATED THE FIRST COMPLEX SYSTEMS IT ENCOUNTERED. MEANING, THE CREW AND VESSEL OF THE Microwave Explosion. THEN, FLOATING IN AIR LIKE THAT, IT WOULD HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO CONSUME AND REPLICATE, AND SO CONSUME AND REPLICATE ITS ORIGINAL REPLICATION. OUR MODELS SAY THAT THIS CYCLE MAY HAVE OCCURRED 47 TIMES SO FAR.
THE SHIP AND CREW WILL LIKELY BE RECOGNIZABLE WITHIN CERTAIN GENERAL PARAMETERS, BUT MEMORY GAPS OR ALTERATIONS MAY EXIST. SO BE KIND.
RE: BIOFILM TRANSPORTATION SERVICES
CARGO: 17 HOURS OF BIOFILM. REFRIGERATED CANISTERS.
WE WERE JUST CHECKING OUR RECORDS, ANNIE GRIFFIN, AND REALIZED THAT OUR 17 HOURS OF BIOFILM IN REFRIGERATED CANISTERS HAS NOW BEEN AIRBORNE FOR APPROXIMATELY 845 HOURS. THAT IS ROUGHLY FIVE TIMES THE RECOMMENDED DOSAGE OF COSMIC RAYS FOR THIS GRADE OF BIOFILM. HAS IT BEEN ACTING STRANGELY? WE CALCULATE A HIGH PROBABILITY OF CLONAL MUTATION. HAVE YOU BEEN ACTING STRANGELY? ALSO, DO WE OWE YOU FOR THIS EXTRA TIME?