SHIP'S LOG:

Albion

earliest post first | most recent post first

Magnus Arquebus 2/1/2019 1:09pm


I can understand the decision to go with the Giant Spiders, but, had Enormous Hives, LLC been consulted we would have pointed out that while they do lack the crushing weight of the Giant Toads and Giant Lizards, they are much harder to remove from the scene once their work is done. Not to mention the almost chthonic malevolence that they possess. Had they opted for the slow moving and frankly somewhat cute Giant Fuzzy Tarantulas this would have been less of an issue, but I think we can all admit that the Giant Crab Spiders are, in fact, terrifying.

Time will tell, I suppose!






Magnus Arquebus 12/31/2018 7:25pm


The Albion has been completely obscured by the waxy combs constructed by the Giant Bee swarm. The top of Storm Mountain is now completely covered by their honeycomb, as the Giant Bees fly too and fro, raiding the local sugar factory and corn syrup production facilities.

We at Enormous Hives, LLC, have suggested setting the nearby prairie on fire, in order to produce the smoke necessary to shoo the Giant Bees away and let us take control of the Albion and remove it (and of course entirely repainting its black and yellow color pattern) but this way forward has been entirely discounted by the local authorities! But it is WE who are the authority on Giant Bees, aren't we now?

We just hope they will not go forward with the very bad plans utilized in the past concerning the introduction of Giant Toads and Giant Lizards into the area in an attempt to control them, because we all know how that turns out.






Magnus Arquebus 11/25/2018 8:24pm


I'm sure you've all seen it on the news--how the Albion has been adopted as the new queen of the Giant Bees. I should have known the Albion's black and yellow color scheme could cause them some confusion.

Anyway, the swarm has forced the Albion to the top of Storm Mountain (in the vicinity of Oak Cliff) and have begun to build their hive. I'm sure there'd be no danger to the crew if they'd like to escape at that point, before all the Giant Bee Wax starts to flow.






Magnus Arquebus 10/25/2018 8:26pm


Our entire colony of Giant Bees left with the Albion along with their honey. We really thought they'd head on back, and we even put on the big bee costumes and did the waggle dance to help them find their way, but they have continued to swarm the Albion all along its journey to Oak Cliff, where they make the biggest and most prized Texas Toast in all the land. We've received sightings from the World Bee Organization at the insect checkpoints along the way. You may have seen it on the Weather Channel. Well we just hope those big buzzers find their way back to us soon!






Bling Bumble 9/25/2018 8:00pm


BZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZ BZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZ BZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZ BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZ BZZZZZ BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!






Emile Valentine 8/24/2018 1:48am


I hope that I can get these normal human things!! Wait..., do I see a crack in one of those human things, Well CAPTAIN Emile Valentine fears NO human things whatsoever! HA-HA!.. More cracks?

Well me and my new pet, Magnifico the unflappable are on our ways to drop off the other human things!






Emile Valentine 8/24/2018 1:45am


I have accepted a job to transport Giant Bee honey, well, CAPTAIN Emile Valentine does not fear any honey, giant or otherwise! I do hope that I can get it on time, and take it to it's proper place, there are saltines requiring such toppings!






Magnus Arquebus - 8/13/2018 10:21pm

Job claimed by Emile Valentine 2018-08-24 01:45:14

GIANT BEE HONEY

We've got a half ton of Giant Bee Honey, still in the honeycomb. It's a bit sticky, but we'll make it worth your while.

Needs delivering to Oak Cliff, where they make the biggest and most prized Texas Toast in all the land. Head due east when you get to the Mammoth Onion Ring Factory.

Find us at Enormous Hives, LLC, in Apiariville. And don't let the bees bother you when they bump up against your blimp! They're just being friendly.




Tara Dactil - 4/26/2018 7:20pm

Job claimed by Emile Valentine 2018-08-24 01:48:10


Tara Dactil, casual neighborhood human-ey human with human characteristics

Hi! I am regular human being called Tara Dactil! I am just a causal human being that is not suspicious and has many normal human traits and qualities like a round pudgy face and absence of wings! I live in a normal human dwelling with normal human companions doing normal human things!

I need a box of NORMAL HUMAN THINGS, not pterodactyl eggs in a thin, worn Walmart grocery bag inside of a thin, worn cardboard box, sent to another NORMAL HUMAN, who lives in the Fresh Kills Landfill in New York, NOT because there is a pterodactyl community there secretly hiding the trash and I want my babies to have the best education!!

NO! I AM JUST A NORMAL HUMAN!! HOW MANY TIMES WILL I SAY THIS!!!! I AM TARA DACTIL, NORMAL HUMAN BEING WIT NORMAL HUMAN CHARACTERISTICS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am offering three percent equity in my company Pterodactyl Ventures, a house made of bones in the Yadrovo Landfill, and a cake made with the human love of me, normal human Tara Dactil.