SHIP'S LOG:

USS Imperative

Adam Pausa 5/22/2025 9:55pm

Mezzzzzzzmo

MEZZZZZZZZZZZMO

Mezmomezmomezmomezmomezmomezmo

MEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZMO!

Fritzi Zwicki 1/28/2025 10:05pm

"Yes I've had an irrational Mezmo event."

"Oh, so you'd like to volunteer for Mr. Pausa's campaign?" asked the woman at the campaign office.

"Well, I'm not sure I have the time for that," I said. "But Zephyr Tech won't recognize my hyperspatial accident because of an irrational vector."

"I see! Well, would you allow the campaign to use your story in our promotional materials in exchange for recognition of your Mezmo event, and its irrational vector indication?"

"Well, uh, sure? I guess? How will that--"

"ADAM! Get up here we have a testimonial!"

Fritzi Zwicki 10/1/2024 5:07pm

Turned out Zephyr Tech's customer service was as bad in this reality as back home.

Was being beached here as bad as all that? I was the captain of my own ship now, complete with ramjets (though obviously some kinks to work out) and many other futuristic amenities I could never hope to afford. Still, it all felt like ill-gotten gains resulting from the Mezmo Event and I had a responsibility to make things right.

But if Zephyr Tech couldn't fix it, then who?

"ADAM PAUSA!"

Another huge holographic billboard burst into the sky above me.

"FOR ALDERMAN! 4TH IRRATIONAL DISTRICT!"

"VOLUNTEER TODAY TO MAKE IRRATIONALITY NORMAL"

Irrational, eh?

"ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE!"

Fritzi Zwicki 6/10/2024 11:34pm

Finding Zephyr Tech in this reality--three over and two up--wasn't difficult.

BLAST WITH THE BEST
ZEPHYRTECH!

and the big silver "thumbs up" logo with the Z/T lightning bolt floated out of the biggest holographic street sign in Fort Snord.

"Yes I'd like to report a Hyperspatial Mezmo Event Level 9?"

"Certainly. Could you fill this out?"

Pages and pages of questions, and a number of legal documents I didn't frankly take the time to read.

"Oh this isn't a Level 9 at all," said the receptionist.

"It's not?"

"Well, three over and two up right?"

"Right."

"Well that's the square root of 13. Completely irrational. I'm afraid we can't take your complaint."

"But! I'm a graduate! There's been an accident!"

"NEXT"

Fritzi Zwicki 2/19/2024 11:50pm

Making a port of call at sunny Fort Snord.

While I've enjoyed being the captain (following the Hyperspatial Mezmo Event Level 9) I can't help but feel a little bit the imposter. The rest of the crew was professional enough not to mention it, but, I'm not really sure if I can hack it!

Looking for a way to contact Zephyr Tech and report the Mezmo Event and maybe they'll have some advice to get me out of this. I mean, what even happened to the old captain? Just winked out of existence? I can't help but feel somewhat responsible.

So, given everyone shore leave while I try and sort this out.

Fritzi Zwicki 10/23/2023 10:05pm

That spritely, wizened old man with a white beard and a wink and a twinkle in his eye got that ritinculator adjusted quicker than you can sneeze up a chimney.

But all that mezmo got reinjected back up the ramjets--and blew us three realities over and two up.

That's right: A Hyperspatial Mezmo Event Level 9! Just like we learned about back at Zephyr Tech.

I'll have to get in contact with the people who publish the text book and let them know. But the accompanying reality shift has led to some dramatic changes on the USS Imperative. For instance, the ship has undergone a fantastical modernization, and I have been reinvented as its captain! With a spiffy new uniform.

What adventures await? Full steam ahead!

Barnaby Winklestein 7/20/2023 11:12pm

Where's that young First Engineer's Mate? Zwiffy I believe?

Ah there you are my lad! Oooooo and what's all this Mezmo oozing all over the floor? Ha ha! Not to worry.

Let's have a look at that ritinculator... just stand back while I put my finger by my nose and give a nod and....



up Up UP!

Temblors Gumbo 4/3/2023 10:09pm

"What's going on down there, engine room?" I've got a private speaking tube this time. Much more efficient.

"Well, ah.... First Engineer's Mate Zwicki here, Leftenant. I'm afraid the ramjets have gone a bit mezmo."

"Mezmo is it?" I ask.

"Yes sir, all glowy and vibratey and oozing all over the floor..."

"Yes, yes," I say. "We've all seen the videos online. Well, sounds like you're in need of a spritely, wizened old man with a white beard and a wink and a twinkle in his eye, am I right?" I ask.

"Well, so as long as he can show me how to adjust the ritinculator--"

"Coming right up," I say. "We have just the man."

Fritzi Zwicki 12/27/2022 11:55pm

Frankly, in all my years of night school at Zephyr Tech, I'd never actually fired a ramjet before.

I know that three years at Zephyr Tech with a focus on ramjets looks really good on paper, but I always imagined I'd have some kind of mentor... on the job training, and all that. A spritely, wizened old man with a white beard and a wink and a twinkle in his eye, showing me exactly how to adjust the ritinculator when the ramjet goes all mezmo...

And "going all mezmo" is the official term for what these ramjet engines seem to be doing... kind of glowing, and vibrating, and starting to ooze all over the floor...

Temblors Gumbo 10/4/2022 10:21pm

"But sir! Er, your Their-ness. The ramjets haven't had a proper shakedown."

Captain @Grombletombus wasn't having it.

"But that kind of speed... at that distance... she needs some trials first. If I'm not mistaken, the Law of the Air, vol 7., chapter 14 says---"

Nope. Not having it at all.

"Prepare the Ramjets!"

"Aye, Leftenant," says the helm. "Preparing the Ramjets. You want mustard on that?"

"Excuse me, helm?!!!"

"Just joking," says the helm. "PREPARE THE RAMJETS!" he hollers down the speaking tube.

Prepare the Ramjets!

prepare the ramjets!

prepare the ramjets

The call echoes through the ship.

ramjets prepared

ramjets prepared!

Ramjets Prepared!

"RAMJETS PREPARED!" yells the helm.

"I'm right here," I say.

"Yes, of course Leftenant," says the helm.

"Fire the...," oh god, what am I getting into? "FIRE THE RAMJETS!" I cry.