Alis Gloriae

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Veedle 1/25/2018 4:53am

Captain's Log: 1/25/18

Currently on our way to Oslo to receive repairs.
All cargo-workers involved in the sandwich incident have been sacked.
Have sent an official apology out.


Veedle 1/21/2018 8:07pm

The Alis Gloriae will no longer be able to take shipments that are required to be carried outside the ship. This includes anything attached to a hook, and tethered platform, etc.
We apologize for the inconvenience.

Veedle 1/21/2018 8:06pm

Dear Greese Witherspoon,

We at the Alis Gloriae would like to apologize for this horrific incident, and will cover the cost of any damages you request. As Captain, I was told the tarp was secured by the loading team, and all of those who were involved have been terminated(fired, not killed) with extreme prejudice. I cannot stress how sorry I am about this. We at Zephyr Air Transport are dedicated to safe and efficient shipping, and thus we will ensure nothing like this ever happens again.


Grease Witherspoon 1/19/2018 8:45pm

To whom it may concern/legal department/accounts receivable of the Alis Gloriae:

As you are no doubt aware if you have read the latest headlines, you have made Slim Beasley Ent. Mrx. Lnn. LLC. not only the laughing stock of the entire Surreal Food Exhibition at Fingerton, but severely endangered the lives of hundreds of attendees.

While the LFSYKTM (Largest Fish Sandwich yet Known to Man) was delivered to the show with minimal fracturing, the lower bun did in fact become overly damp during transport, due to the poorly fastened tarp (see attachment 11b, the telescopic photo of said tarp being unhinged). When reaching the more humid climes of Fingerton, this resulted in an explosion of "psychic mould" in the glutinous regions of the sandwich. As psychic mould is nearly invisible to the naked, non-psychic eye, attendees of the Surreal Food Exhibition had no idea they were consuming it as they sampled the very large sandwhich, and were subsequently thrown into fits of psychic hallucination and hysteria lasting hours, running amok at the Surreal Food Exhibition, and causing a great deal of additional property damage, not to mention the damage to their sanity.

As such, Slim Beasley Ent. Mrx. Lnn. LLC. claims no responsibility whatsoever for the damage caused by the negligence of the Captain and crew of the Alis Gloriae, and will be directing all lawsuits, members of the press, and angry mobs to you and your parent company, Zephyr Air Transport.

We will also not be paying our bill, nor leaving a tip. Nor any stars. Zero. If we could give you negative stars we would. Big frowny face.


Grease Witherspoon
Surreal Fast Food Quality Service Agent
Slim Beasley Ent. Mrx. Lnn. LLC.

Veedle 1/19/2018 4:24pm

Captain's Log: 1/19/17

Drop off in Fingerton largely successful. Transport went through without a hitch, but when sandwich was being lowered inches from the ground, the hook line snapped. Sandwich remained intact. Currently docked in London receiving repairs and refueling.


Veedle 1/17/2018 6:21pm

Dear Greese,

Thank you for your concern. To rectify this issue, we have added secondary security tarps around the sandwich to ensure that the primary tarp does not fall off and the sandwich does not get soggy. As I write this, we are approximately half an hour out from Fingerton, and the tarps do not appear to have become loose. We expect a successful drop off.

Veedle (And the rest of the crew)

Grease Witherspoon 1/16/2018 10:51pm

I am Grease Witherspoon, Surreal Fast Food Quality Service Agent of Slim Beasley Ent. Mrx. Lnn. LLC.

We have telescopic pictures of the LFSYKTM (Largest Fish Sandwich yet Known to Man) suspended from below the gondola of the Alis Gloriae. While we realize a sandwich of this size must be transported via cargo hook due to its impressive girth, it is clear the tarps are not securely tied and the sandwich is in risk of being soaked in the rain.

Please rectify this issue immediately. Delivery of a very large soggy sandwich will not reach the service level agreements as stated in our contract. Not to mention it would deny the attendees of the Surreal Food Exhibition a truly once in a lifetime experience.

We ask that you reply immediately with your full compliance.


Grease Witherspoon
Surreal Fast Food Quality Service Agent
Slim Beasley Ent. Mrx. Lnn. LLC.

Veedle 1/16/2018 11:41am

Captain's Log: 1/16/18
Currently on our way to Wembley. ETA 3 hours.

Slim Beasley - 1/15/2018 9:43pm

Job claimed by Veedle 2018-01-16 11:41:18

I, Fast Food Entrepreneur of the Fantastic, Deep Fryer of All of Mankind's Dreams and Delights, Slim Beasley, have created the largest fish sandwich yet known to man. It was assembled at our fast food R&D assembly docks in Wembley, and is now resting gloriously under a tarp, awaiting transport to the Surreal Food Exhibition in Fingerton.

Not only will your ship play a role in the very HISTORY of surreal fast food, but you will enjoy all the perks that only a visit to the Surreal Food Exhibition can provide.

Call me on my french fry phone and let's set this up!

Slim Beasley Ent. Mrx. Lnn.

Windsnap 1/15/2018 4:02pm

We're back in Norway. Again.
Which meant I had to refuel in Norway. Again.
It is freezing. Again.
I want to go somewhere warmer.


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