The Crystal Skull

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Lik McCoy 9/1/2023 6:59pm

The guy who owns the Garland Patera doesn’t keep much track of his stock, so it’s easy to walk off with cases of fine wine, cheese, cured meats.

Seems fair, considering what he pays me.

Then I sell them to the traders who service the settlers and crooks and magicians out in the Madness Zone.

Couldn’t pay me to live out there again.

Dale Flowers 6/1/2023 11:04pm

"You sure you don't have anything else in there for me, Mandy?"

She knows I'm talking about her heart and not her mail tug. But she doesn't let on.

"Dale you know you got everything that was on your waybill. You best go and make sure your servants get everything put away just right."

"Not servants, Mandy. I pay 'em just fine."

She leaves me a copy of the list, hops into her stubby little ship, and pulls out from the loading dock.

"Hey! Careful with that!" I holler at the staff. That's some expensive wine.

Mandy Pigtail 2/15/2023 11:16pm

"And git!" I holler, knocking the zombie off with a bullhook. Hope he doesn't land on anybody.

There's a scraping sound coming from the other side of the ship.

Oh lord, I say to myself, rushing back to the bridge and taking the wheel. Looking through the windows, it's clear we'd run up against the side the building across the street. I ease away from the building, then up over the street, over the city, and point us towards Garland Patera. It's a clear day and I can find my way.

Ship as small as this one, you still need a crew of two if you want to survive. And while I've been lucky so far, that's not the preferred state.

Not if I want to keep up the family business -- connecting folks what's left in the Madness Zone. Facilitatin' trade, moving the mail.

That's what daddy would have wanted.

And heck, I don't know anything else.

Airshipping News 11/12/2022 2:39pm

Winds are spicy out of the northeast today as Zombie Pirate Hoard #13 continues to gather steam and head west. 

Airlanes throughout the region have been closed or rerouted, so update those flight paths! And be prepared for checkpoints at emergency pontoons. 

Otherwise, supply chains through the rest of the network are reporting green plus to green minus, with the usual slowdown in the Dinsmore, Filbert, and Tri-cities areas. The Chester B. Arthur memorial airlane will be closed from local midnight to 3am again this week as they spray for witches.

Guy Flay 5/18/2022 10:44pm


So, uh...@Andrew.

I'm sorry the shipment turned out like this. We really thought you were going to be "the one." You know?

It's like, tell some somebody "No matter what you do, do NOT eat that apple!" and sure enough they do it. It's like they HAVE to. Maybe if we didn't tell people not to eat it then they wouldn't? But they ARE so salty and delicious.


Anyway, as it's turned out like this, we do need to point out the fine points of the contract, under TERMINATION you'll see a section in small print on ZOMBIFICATION... yeah. Read that.

Though your crew might SEEM to have, uh, died, we believe they may be walking up right about.... now! But they're not your old friends, "the crew," but instead now mindless poisoned zombies, who will be seeking more, uh, "snacks," if you know what I mean.


The only way you can put those poor creatures out of their misery now is to roast them. That's right, you've got to burn down your ship, The Crystal Skull. Just set the whole damn thing on fire! Do it over an ocean or Great Lake or other large body of water. That's the only safe way to really get rid of them at this point.

But ACT FAST! These aren't those slow, shuffling type zombies. Something in the poison makes them fast and quick. Faster and quicker than regular folks. And if you don't get the jump on them, they're liable to take over your ship...

And tell them Guy Flay sent you!

Andrew 3/1/2022 4:01am

We have arrived! The shipment is almost 100% intact! The crew is........................................................................................................


Let's not talk about where all my crew went.

Let's just say my crew is < 100% intact after this trip.

< 20% even.

You got your one shipment. From there, I'm no longer capable of doing more for you in good faith or with reliability. Don't ask where the crew went, let's just say they got hungry while they were a little tipsy.


Andrew 2/27/2022 8:16pm

So turns out that roast poison snacks aren't exactly appealing to most unless you're my intern. I don't see why he thought they would be tasty as such a lucky permanently indentured unpaid s- Intern. Yes. Intern. It was all his choice... We are now one more crew member short. Nobody knew the guy anyways. The stock is virtually unaffected. My grandparents have ghosted me, citing that even a business degree would be more useful than this career, but this is going to be the new UPS - I can feel it. I think. Some of the poison stock gives off some dust, and as of late I have lost my taste and some feel while piloting this vehicle.

Andrew 2/27/2022 8:06pm

I, Andrew accept the crippling debt it caused me to purchase this airship and would like to thank myself for the job of delivering items free of cost until the banks repossess my family. At least it's the same airship Indiana Jones rode in! Oh wait... was this from the Nazis!?-

Everything is fine. I swear I'm not having a mental breakdown.

Guy Flay - 2/17/2022 1:26pm

Job claimed by Andrew 2022-02-27 20:06:16


We need a steady contract for a regular delivery of Flay's Roast Poison Snacks to fill the roast poison snack racks at Zephyr Air Quick Stations in the Sector B Subcluster and Tri-cities region.


In the past our shipments have suffered from being pilfered by the crews of our former franchisee owner operated delivery ships, who then of course die and their ships are left adrift, creating traffic hazards and occasionally transforming into marauding haunted zombie pirate ships. Eating of Flay's Roast Poison Snacks during transport is strictly prohibited.


Drop by Flay's Roast Poison Snacks Distribution Center 665 for the mandatory optional aura scan and reference checks and you can be a proud deliverer of Flay's Roast Poison Snacks in no time.

And tell them Guy Flay sent you!