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Hey there Buckaroos! A mighty thanks for accepting my job--transporting a small herd of the wildest buckin' seahorses in the Seven Seas to the Grand International Oceanic Stock Show in Atlantia in time for the big hoedown next month. But it looks like Moe's takin' some time off, and wasn't sure if this job got handed off properly there on the ol' Thot Slayer. Are you skypokes headin' my way to get these sea ponies to the underwater rodeo on time or what? Let me know, because if these buckin' beauties don't make it to the show on time there'll be heck to pay!
Glad to be aboard the crew of the prestigious Thot Slayer. I will have to take the first two weeks of to visit my family in the Finger Lakes. I snuck off to join this crew so I'll have to go back to let them know I got a job. They'll be worrying about me, people go missing in the Finger Lakes. After that of course I can be on board 24/7 !! Great to be on board.
Job claimed by Moe Slamberry 2018-01-26 10:53:58
Hey Buckaroos! I've got a stablefull of the nastiest, rootin' tootin'est feral seahorses that ever appeared at an underwater rodeo, and they've got to make it to the Grand International Oceanic Stock Show in Atlantia in time for the big hoedown next month. Oh there'll be mermaids and mermen, sirens and selkies, invisible dogs and corn on a stick! If you're not already headed there I'd suggest it for sure, and if you are already headed there, and are able to transport 5 seahorse trailers full of sea water, a handful of handlers, and 10 of the wildest, wooliest, most bucking seahorses you've ever seen, then we're in business! Our ranch is in the tropical shallows just 10 degrees north of the Farina Islands. Look for our bright orange floating enclosure, and tell 'em Dick sent ya.
Naeer, thot slayer, reporting for duty
Thot Slayer is ready to take this head-on! You can depend on the worlds best thot slayers to get your order to you, safe as can be.
Job claimed by Goldenchomper 2018-01-24 12:38:56
I need someone to transport my large collection of Charlie's Charming Clams figurines! I need someone who will treat my cargo with the utmost care! Treat them as if they were alive! They are not actually alive, of course, that would be most ridiculous, as these are merely figurines of all the characters from the popular series Charlie's Charming Clams. Very rare figurines, so keep your paws off them! Don't even open them. They might make some noise but I assure you, it's just settling. It is completely normal and not at all suspicious. You may have heard rumors that I was involved in a very unsavory business transporting items that were not exactly legal, ethical, moral, or a combination of those three. Those rumors are completely false and were spread by my competitors to destroy my reputation. You, of course, have nothing to worry about as this job contains nothing illegal, unethical, or immoral. Just my collection of Charlie's Charming Clams figurines! The payment will be decided once you deliver the UNOPENED containers to me, at my mansion. Please use the utmost discretion. Nothing is suspicious, I am just a very private man. The containers can be picked up from my summer home. Knock twice on the back door at any time between 10 pm and 2 am, and ask for Jeoffery. Any breach in the terms described here will result in cancellation of payment and a potential lawsuit.
Ares F. Chowbury, Esq.