SHIPS LOGS

MOST RECENTLY UPDATED SHIPS' LOGS

Thot Slayer 11/19/2018 8:45pm

Slobodkina

Well lucky me! Guess who's headed to the Colonial Symbolism Symposium and Colloquium? That's right! ME! I mean, and the crew of the Thot Slayer. They're apparently on this big diversity kick, and word of my progressive attitudes (not to mention snazzy new uniforms) seems to have gotten around. So, I'm getting my deck ready, and practicing all my TED Talk hand gestures. I'm just so happy that a formerly stodgy old place like the Colonial Symbolism Symposium and Colloquium is interested in hea...(READ MORE)

Microwave Explosion 11/17/2018 3:01pm

Annie Griffin

Job claimed, Curious Curios Inc.!...(READ MORE)

Golden Stone 11/16/2018 9:39pm

Ben Satisfaction

Who irons the golden arm bands? Me, of course! Ben Satisfaction, Golden Armband Ironer. What's with the armbands you say? A little creepy and militaristic? Not at all! Oh ho ho ho. Not at all. You see, the Golden Armbands are only worn at special occasions, by special people, for special reasons. There are members of the crew who are members of The Royal Society of Gilded Gleaners, and as such must perform the appointed Rituals of the Golden Ones at the appointed times. You've seen them as a...(READ MORE)

The Flying Comrade 11/14/2018 11:18pm

Ben Tater

I've decided to forego the remote connection, and actually join the crew of The Flying Comrade as one of them. That is, a giant guinea pig. Or, in my case, a man in a giant guinea pig suit. There's no way we can truly act as a team unless I'm right there with them, claws on the deck. I need to drink from the same stainless steel tube, eat the same pellets, and yes, use the same bedding for my biological functions. Then we can really bond, and I can take the crew to the next level. I'm also...(READ MORE)

The Useless Precaution 11/12/2018 10:16pm

Count Almaviva

E oh! La terribile realtà dei cuochi nella loro cucina era quasi troppo orrenda da sopportare. Dopo tutto quello che avevamo visto - dai Biscotti alle Zeppole - pensavamo di aver conosciuto i peggiori (e tuttavia più deliziosi) atti culinari mai creati. La bellezza! L'atrocità! Ma mai - MAI - eravamo pronti a testimoniare la fame vorace e insaziabile dei creatori stessi. Sì, erano i Mostaccioli !! Gli uomini di pan di zenzero Immancabili di se stessi, hanno comunque provato e banchetta...(READ MORE)

The Sadie Hawkins 11/10/2018 6:25pm

Billy Nails

When you’re a real crew, kid, then nobody gets left behind. Ever. That’s why we’ve been stuck in this endless search patten for so long, tryin’ ta find a sign of that stowaway, and her flying plasma moth Sparkleshine. I guess she’s not really a stowaway any more, not after all we’ve been through, but since we’ve never been properly introduced I don’t feel comfortable calling her by her given names. Back where I grew up, our real names were secret and sacred, and we only ever...(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai 11/7/2018 9:06pm

Billy Sabab

Had to take a day off to fumigate. Carting all this old stuff around can fill the whole ship with a musty smell, and when you start having to shake moths out of your bedroll at night you know it's time. So we batten and lash everything down, secure the drawers and cabinets, then open up all the windows and hatches and cargo bay doors and fly awhile, dancing with the headwinds and blowing out all the cobwebs. It's on nights like these I like to scale the hull and spend some time up top. Sa...(READ MORE)

Dragon's Tooth 11/4/2018 8:27pm

Clammy Hamsphere

The ads for the mid-season finale of MERMAID IMPERIUM: THE RISE OF GRA’THUL are like a glam rock super battle of the bands, where everybody's got guitars that look like axes and swords and there are towers of flames and Marshall stacks and giant metal fishboots. My brother doesn't like hair metal so he's been dissing the show, saying that they've "jumped the shark" and doing whatever they can to "turn it up to eleven." But there's still no way he'd miss it. We're saving...(READ MORE)

Araceli 11/2/2018 7:52pm

Jimmy Three-hands

"Oh I just know it's around here somewhere, Joe King Crow. We'll find it eventually. Just keep on flying!" I had no idea where we were going, of course. There was no Diamond Mine, and I was up on top of the King of the Crows, inside of Bakemono Toad's smelly body, high above the forests of Bakemono Road, flying around in circles. "Well it can't be any farther that-a-way," said Joe King Crow. "That's where the Skunk lives." "Oh??? I don't smell any skun...(READ MORE)

The Mephitis 10/31/2018 9:14pm

Choco Loni

the impossible gun. not really my favorite, because by its very nature it is anti-skill. you pick it up, take aim in the general direction of the target, pull the trigger, and something entirely impossible pops into existence. an elephant riding a unicycle. a small bird who is a lawyer. a worm orchestra that plays "in the hall of the mountain king." why are mine always animal based? the other thing i don't trust about it is that i always figure well those things aren't really "imp...(READ MORE)

ol' big balloon 10/29/2018 8:36pm

Private Nickels

now, when we saw the pumpkin heads up there on the ol' big balloon, naturally we were right to follow protocol and raze the patch. we all know how those quasi-sentient pumpkin heads get when they go feral, and when they started out by decapitating their first four victims we knew they were serious. but a key point that got lost in the mess is that the ol' big balloon was also carrying three ecto-plasmic shards--shards that had somehow escaped their ectoplasmic transport curse hazard level III...(READ MORE)

Egregore 10/27/2018 3:31pm

Rose Nomenclature

It’s pronounced No-men-kla-TUR. Captain of the Egregore. EGG-gree-gore. We specialize in the retrieval of dangerous and haunted artifacts, including books. We’ve accepted a job to locate one of the most notoriously demonic tomes ever written—Cessation. Part romance novel, part apocalyptic doom manual, originally written by the mad Bulgarian monk Hristofor Zlatko and published in the 11th century to tremendously scathing reviews. However, through a series of clever international right...(READ MORE)

Albion 10/25/2018 8:26pm

Magnus Arquebus

Our entire colony of Giant Bees left with the Albion along with their honey. We really thought they'd head on back, and we even put on the big bee costumes and did the waggle dance to help them find their way, but they have continued to swarm the Albion all along its journey to Oak Cliff, where they make the biggest and most prized Texas Toast in all the land. We've received sightings from the World Bee Organization at the insect checkpoints along the way. You may have seen it on the Weather Cha...(READ MORE)

Conquest 10/23/2018 11:57pm

Cara

Might be something with the transmission, but somethings going wrong. I don't think anything is getting through. If it is, I really need that job done, but it isn't showing up. I don't think the managers know that I'm kinda stuck. well, help if you can....(READ MORE)

Eyes Without A Face 10/23/2018 12:19am

Claira

I am writing to formally accept the job upon the airship 'Eyes Without A Face'. This is a very exciting opportunity for me, and I hope I can add something new to the crew. -Claira...(READ MORE)



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