ALL SHIPS' LOGS

Stratospheric Aerodrome Renoire 6/2/2026 11:56pm

Zephyr Ambulance LTD

"We picked it up on the Very Slow Band," Chief Clinical Officer said. The transcription was spotty, incomplete. Portions were missing, or perhaps just left out by a mind driven insane by the shrinking process? "Biscuits... cryptids... what went on here?" "The cinnamon ones are especially tasty," Chief Clinical Officer said. "Good to know they're well stocked." "Find us that HHS Crescent. It's got to be in one of these bottles."...(READ MORE)

No Questions Asked 5/31/2026 11:57pm

The Head

"Ow!" I croaked. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" They hadn't included much cushioning in the travel box, and I was getting banged around something fierce. "Oh! Sorry Mr. Head!" came a muffled voice from outside the box. "This last bit's a little bumpy!" The deck my handler had showed me was thin on the details, but the outline for the job was familiar enough. Attach me to a new ride, infiltrate the target, eliminate the bad guys. But the location was extremely remo...(READ MORE)

base 1 5/29/2026 9:39pm

Mickey Fine

"So... ye lookin' to get off base?" the grizzled old man asked me over his shoulder with one squinty eye. "Base? You know about the bases?" I asked. I was following him around the back alleys of the wharf. I'd assumed we were headed to some longshoreman's hall. "Aye! I told ye I'd traveled the high seas, hadn't I," the old man growled, kicking a rat out of our way. "Well, I, uh, I'm confused. You mean 'sea bases?'" "Yes. Sea bases, home...(READ MORE)

The Hartlepool 5/27/2026 11:58pm

Gray Jenni Fields

So this is my backup account, on account of my main account being frozen, with an absolutely BS non-reason. That last video I posted was NOTHING compared to the ultra-violence of most of my cybernetic war monkey videos, and by no stretch of the imagination did that last video "violate community standards." It wasn't even an original video--just some closed circuit surveillance video shared by an anonymous source. And I still have the clip and am posting it now. You'll see it's just...(READ MORE)

Zeppelin Zoologica 5/25/2026 9:59pm

THE IMPOSSIMEN

DIDEL: You sure this is the right neck of the woods? Pretty seedy out here. GRINNI: Yeah. I've been to his HQ before. Pull over behind that stump. PREHEN: Roger that. MARMIE: So how do you know this guy? GRINNI: Let's just say that if there's sigils and demons involved, you need an expert. And that expert is: LARRY MOON, SKUNK DETECTIVE...(READ MORE)

Spatuloso 5/23/2026 9:45pm

Lasso Pout

“Well that’s a mighty big barn,” I said. “We keep it cleared out for blimpy types like you,” the tough girl said. “How often you folks see types like us?” I asked. “Whenever the Confusion comes around,” she said. “But those Bluefins are a whole lot bigger than you.” Bluefins. Didn’t like the sound of that. The rest of the kids got off their bikes and opened the big barn doors. It was empty inside. No hay, no tractors. A fair amount of tools. Plenty of s...(READ MORE)

Moonbeam 5/21/2026 11:56pm

Spaz Skunk

"Do you smell that?" asked Weasel Least. He'd popped his head into the bridge through an open window. "Smell what?" I asked. "I might be a skunk but--" "Hey! Weasel here! It's all good. No, it was a smell out here. Big rotting fish smell for a minute. Now it's gone." Weasel popped his head back out the window. "Awooooooo!" cried Howlin' Wolf from the crow's nest. "Bubbles ahoy!" Everybody ran to the front deck to get a vi...(READ MORE)

The Redmane 5/19/2026 10:27pm

Kendall Warren

"Guys! Guys!" It was a small voice in the distance. Coming from the light in the valley below. "Guys!" It was getting closer, and fast. Hard to see coming out of the light like that, galloping over the snow. "Guys! Guys!" It was Macaron! Our reindeer from the ship! Given the power of speech by The Land of Silver Salty Fruits! Returning to us with... "RUN!" Macaron cried as he sped past us, into the woods. Kendall Warren Chief Reindee...(READ MORE)

The Nimble Shroud 5/17/2026 10:47pm

Lt. Denkt

BEEEEELCH We were bleched out of the gaping maw of the giant witch balloon. "Owwww my hair!" cried Khlebnikov. All of us had some bits ripped off in our expulsion from the odiferous beast we'd been sucked into. "But OWWW! It was my hair! I've got a bald spot now!" cried Khlebnikov. "Oh I'll bet that does hurt," said Dranitsyn. All of us, including a bleating Captain @katelynn, no doubt suffering a number of bald spots on her goat hide and whimperin...(READ MORE)

The FV GlobeRoamer 5/15/2026 11:42pm

Steven Nevets

Now that the Reversochron field has begun to reverse, microdosing Reversochron Crystals has become a trendy new therapy for psylicon valley millionaires bent on self-improvement and world domination. It goes like this: After a conversation--or a business deal--doesn't come out as you'd like, users inject an extremely small amount of Reversochron Crystal into their bodies (using handy single-use injectors with pre-measured micro dosages). These injections typically occur in the back of the neck....(READ MORE)

USS Imperative 5/12/2026 10:11pm

Fort Snord News 1

"We'll now open up the room for questions." "Mr. Zwicki!" "Mr. Zwicki!" "Fritzi!" "Mr. Zwicki!" "Yes, Gary." "Gary Simpleton, Birdpie Examiner. Mr. Zwicki, you said that your irrationality resulted in the disappearance of your former captain?" "Yes, well, uh, it wasn't my irrationality. There was an accident. It was outside of my control." "But you were manning the ramjets, isn't that correct? And...(READ MORE)

Ay Queen Fir 5/10/2026 10:32pm

Aura Cathartes

"Wow, you guys did great. Hardly anybody's made it back from Ice 9, and fewer yet with anything to show for it. You must have made a fortune." It's Ignis Cervus, quartermaster at Point Astrum. It's where we dropped of the cargo. @Ferus Equid gave us 24 hours of R&R. "A fortune? We're just crew. Nobody's mentioned anything about bonuses. And there's a lot less crew to pay after what happened on Ice 9. Torn apart..." I'm still shuddering whenever I close my eyes. &...(READ MORE)

The Unfamiliar Cabbage 5/8/2026 11:27pm

River Godchaux

My mom takes that shot where you don't want any food for thought. It makes your thoughts digest really slow, so you don't need to keep eating the food for thought. You just think real long about the thoughts you have....(READ MORE)

Minecraft is the best 5/6/2026 11:55pm

Ronan Kreutz

Yeah, uh, @Shelly Vargas? Are you getting this? Reality is still pretty messed up here. I mean, it's solid enough. Too solid. Super-fine details (nice touches!) but all roads lead in one direction and it's super fucked. Excuse my language. I could tell the moment I saw it that it was all a set up and headed towards destruction. This is NOT like I am used to and I don't see another way out. So far. Please respond and let me know you got this message....(READ MORE)

WonderFly9000 5/4/2026 10:12pm

Milt McGee

There was Patsy and me. We didn't have many fights but that was a bad one. Now it was all stretched out and pinned to the wall of the cave. Couldn't bear to look at it. And over there was when I was just a little kid. I didn't know any better. Torturing that grasshopper. Me being a jerk to my mom over there on the other wall. Turned up so loud I could hear myself screaming over all the other ones. Till I looked away. All of them hurt so much, but at the same time weren't a part of me an...(READ MORE)

Microwave Explosion 5/2/2026 11:56pm

Queen of the Hudson

After a dizzying number of twists and turns, we found ourselves seated in a plush, modern office with floor to ceiling windows in all directions. It was up high, overlooking a city at night. "Not a city, really," Black Hermione said, "Each of those little dots is a node." I wasn't actually sure how we'd arrived, and was frankly disoriented. Larry was looking a little green himself. "Traveling at the speed of light takes some getting used to," Black Hermione...(READ MORE)

The Flying Comrade 4/30/2026 10:55pm

Little Green Avatar

And with that, the strange, root vegetable-shaped recreational vehicle headed off into the infinite distance of the perfectly flat horizon, tossing up a thin cloud of dust or snow, growing smaller, smaller, diffusely lit by the three suns floating ponderously in the sky... smaller and smaller......(READ MORE)

the merchant's coop 4/28/2026 11:24pm

Rave Tongue

Aye! Woe betide those who do not seek But daily accept the stimuli, and react Taking their steps within the machination And empowering its wheels And yet one has slipped in among us Ragamuffin, hobo, bum Who stepped outside the creaking abattoir To find a fresher aire? Aye Our sounds only those ears can hear Our visage only those eyes can see Our dreams only that soul can know And after knowing, never return...(READ MORE)

The Useless Precaution 4/26/2026 10:41pm

Count Almaviva

«Che odore ridicolo è questo?» esclamò Minerva DePlume, affondando il viso nella morbida pelliccia del bradipo. «È orribile!» gridò Benefico Sal. «Eppure c'è qualcosa di seducente in quel profumo muschiato che mi fa venire voglia di continuare ad annusarlo.» «È come l'odore corporeo di Le Reptile!» esclamai. «Ma talmente peggiore da aver perso ogni fascino.» L'uomo-scimmia annuì saggiamente. «Oh, com'è piacevole stare con chi ha conosciuto Le Reptile da vicino quanto...(READ MORE)

Nixxi 4/24/2026 11:09pm

Four-hole Flat

Boy who ever knew Big Buttons could be so stuck up?! I never grew up around any buttons. I'm fresh out to the box! But all these Big Buttons and their Big Button Shoes and Big Button muumuus and Big Button tight pants, they sure think they're the bees knees. And for doing what? Doing nothing but holding these clowns outfits together. When I told those Big Buttons about how we could live, and be free, and stop all this meanness in the world do you know what those Big Buttons did they lau...(READ MORE)

HMS Dunwall 4/22/2026 11:49pm

The Pretender

"You can't touch me, you know!" @Queen Abigail called down the crystal corridors. "It would be the end of both of us!" Duh. Why did she think I was here? I slink down the narrow aisles between a row of mirrors. In my catsuit. It's like being an a clothing shop, but they accidentally replaced all the racks of clothes with more mirrors. "This is the only way we can live. At a distance! Come to me sister!" she called. We weren't real sisters. Just entangle...(READ MORE)

bonerabbit 4/20/2026 10:51pm

President Garth

I slide into the world through the clouds, thin as paper. Like a newly minted Benjamin falling from the sky. Some eagle-eyed resident of this dimension is bound to spot me and snatch me out of the air, slip me in their pocket. Maybe look around furtively if they're the type with a conscience. But really they're doing me a favor. Alone, I am nothing. I've gotta be seen. It's all about the observer. Without one of those, what's the point? Yeah we're going to get to be good good frie...(READ MORE)

S.S. Silly Goose 4/18/2026 4:47pm

Gnolt Gnolty

Mudland is a godforsaken waste. I don’t see what BSMs would want with it, or anybody else for that matter. The Swampinos must see it from different eyes. Ones with second eyelids. The Mudlands are flat, oozing brown and wet as far as you can see in all directions, which isn’t that far on account of the haze and fog. Fence lines, slowly sinking in the mud, plastic grocery bags stuck in the wires. The occasional decrepit Quonset hut (remnants of the failed science expedition), and of cours...(READ MORE)

Liberate Tuteme 4/16/2026 7:07pm

Shipman Eva

“So, this doesn’t feel like we’re going to Port Lascivious. Shouldn’t we be heading east?” “@Mwo thought that was a funny request. He was surprised it still existed. He said there was nothing of value there.” “It’s not taking us where I asked?” “I’m sure he’d take us some places we asked. But it’s more of an agreement kind of thing. He has to be into it.” “And it tells you this… through the helmet?” “Yeah. He loves to talk.” “So… wher...(READ MORE)

Albion 4/14/2026 11:06pm

Peppermint Bay News

MONSTER IN SWEETSVILLE A large monster ran amuck today on Crackerjack Lane, shortly after tea. We do not use the word "monster" lightly as the creature was described as an 8 foot tall doll with rats in its head. Many bon bons were terrified. One lemonade stand was destroyed. The horrific giant fled into the warehouse district, near the chocolate bar. Townsfolk are asked to stay inside their homes until this menace has been captured or otherwise prevented from terrorizing our s...(READ MORE)

DENZIRO IX 4/12/2026 11:36pm

Omega Soms Inc.

And it was from these great fields of wildflowers and weeds that new species arrived. Sunflower Arecibos, Lavender Popcorn, and of course the "new" strains of wheat, with seeds as big as human babies. The only wheat suited for the Texas Toast that gave this land its name. Texas....(READ MORE)

TSFTB Ship #12 4/10/2026 10:51pm

Terri D. Nemphis

Well you know what they say about Multi-worm Theory! About how all those little shreds of yourself end up having different epigenetic vectors and experiences and LIVES and before you know it you don't even recognize the little tykes! Worm for the worse, they end up not recognizing you either... "All hands! Battle stations!" "Belay that order! Do not lock targets!" "Who said that?" "Who died and made you captain?" "ATTACK!"...(READ MORE)

Denali XV 4/8/2026 11:41pm

Ol Danny

I've been with Ol' Loretta ever since she found me by the side of the road next to the shoestring factory. I already had a lot of miles on me, so spending my golden years riding the Denali is my reward, the way I see it. And I see a lot, hanging from the rear view mirror, dangling in the sun. Hey what's that sparkly flash on yonder mountain?...(READ MORE)

Invictus 4/6/2026 11:25pm

Nathan Hill

"We did spend it all getting wasted," First Mate Quiller said. "Well, at least he did," she said, pointing at @Ensign Filbert stumbling ahead of us. Maybe Quiller and I were still queasy following our "transition" to the Dutch Baby, but a couple of beers helped take the edge off. Filbert had gone over the edge though. "Hey look out for that edge!" Quiller cried. But it was too late. The decks of the Dutch baby were open to the cavernous, and pote...(READ MORE)

Thot Slayer 4/4/2026 10:45pm

Rim Ranger Station 9

Hailing unidentified ship... come in unidentified airship. Yes, you. Do you see anybody else out here? Ok, we're going to need to have a check in. Please proceed at bearing 88.457 mark 3 3 4. Turn that way and you'll see a beacon. Triangle of blue lights. Yep, you're looking right at 'em/ Please proceed and accept docking procedures once you're at the gate. Over....(READ MORE)

Berrysoul 4/2/2026 11:00pm

Billy Bantam

The door had a big 6 painted on it. A door made just for us, it seemed. "So what are we supposed to with the giants while we're in there? They'll wander off." "Comrade says we let 'em free." "Free? They'll never find their way out." "The giants might be more clever than you think. Probably better off without us yelling in their ears all the time." "Yeah, that's true. But what about us? Kinda sounds like a one-way trip, doesn't it?"...(READ MORE)

Murder of Crows 3/31/2026 11:47pm

Timberlina

One of my jobs here at the Sugar Pine School is sowing the seeds of the Dreampine, and overseeing their proper growth and place in the woods. Mostly we like to let nature take its course, of course. But it's ok to give the Dreampine a little advantage... and to keep it from taking over. There's got a to be a balance, and somehow the Timberjacks of the Sugar Pine School and the Nine Bark School and the Ponderosa School found themselves in the middle of it all. Or maybe we put ourselves th...(READ MORE)

Maryellen-Carter 3/29/2026 11:42pm

Thysan Optera

Yes, I’m sure she’s taken the bait. Hook, line and sinker. I administered it myself, of course. My latest love letter was a total smash, and she divulged the location of the 87th Ward Phenylocitine nurserys like she wanted to have a hand in it! We can consider the asset turned. Awaiting next instructions....(READ MORE)

Apollo 3/27/2026 9:26pm

Jep Jeperson

Jep Jeperson, station manager here at the Sector 7 Containment Control Facility, Western Barrier Subautonomous Frontier Reality Zone? Yes, that's right, The one with the President! And the Angels. Well, the President is demanding to speak with the current acting president. And we're assuming you've seen the news footage? Yes those Angels ARE mighty big, aren't they? The President does not recognize the authority of the current acting president, and says he will refer to him only with his...(READ MORE)

The Celestial Voyager 3/25/2026 9:46pm

Dick Krueger

"So is it true about the lab? Do they really have "the room?'" "Yeah, it's true." "And they make you go in it on your first day? Like an initiation ceremony?" "Hazing's more like. It's really rough." "How long did you last?" "Well I certainly didn't set any records. It's absolutely true what they say about being the quietest environment you've ever been in. It takes awhile for your ears to adjust, and then start hearing y...(READ MORE)

Araceli 3/23/2026 8:44pm

Enchanting_Owlet

Hellooooooooo! And how can Anything Owl help you today? Usually we work on an appointment-only basis, but we happen to have time for a walk-in at this very moment. Wait! I'm getting a reading.... Just turn your three-eyed, three-tongued, three-nosed face to the left a little... ah, sorry my left... There! Yes! I've got it! Ah, yes, there it is. I see you've told a fib! Yes, Anything Owl would be happy to help you with that. Now please, walk this way......(READ MORE)

Sphinx Nerif 3/21/2026 10:00pm

Megan Virago

DEAR CLIENT: It appears that AVESAPIEN 0˯0 is undergoing a rebranding. They're calling it "a major transformation, shifting from large, suburban warehouses to smaller, city-center "planning studios" and enhanced online logistics to meet changing customer behaviors." Sheesh what a crock! The AVESAPIEN 0˯0 in Homespun is one of these "planning studios." And do you know what that means? NO MEATBALLS! And also no stock. So we can't just pick up one (1) Nest-Bed...(READ MORE)

E.L. Spence 3/19/2026 11:10pm

Jeri Jade

The rain was still coming down hard, and after so many dots with Mrs. Vandenberg, spending the night at the very well apportioned Vandenberg castle. "It's really more of an estate," Mrs. Vandenberg said. "Now, if there's anything you need, just pick up that slender golden telephone receiver and the butler's team will answer right away. Night night!" The room was extravagant. with sheer curtains around the canopy bed, roman drapes over the windows, tapestries hanging fro...(READ MORE)

U.S.S. Lilybug 3/17/2026 11:54pm

Cetacea Jones

Ice crusted over the faces of the Sky Whales, churning their churn, and us still caught up in it. They come up close now, right up to the viewing ports, peering in with their big Sky Whale side eyes, eyelashes covered in snow. Sometimes a big hunk of ice breaks off one of the murmur and it tumbles past while the crew has a shit fit about what if it hit us. Still I can't help but go outside onto the observation deck and try to get closer, get one to speak into the mic, feed it a bit of sky bait b...(READ MORE)

The Mephitis 3/15/2026 10:46pm

Captain Pirate IX

Well, it made about as much sense as anything, I figured. But I had a notoriously open mind. "So, how do we go about this?" I asked. "We go in and... bust me out?" "That's the gist of it," said Captain Pirate V. "There are some technical specifics," said Captain Pirate III, "once it comes down to the actual... unboxing." "And the Mephitis is enough?" I asked. "We won't need more ships? A small armada? A squadron?"...(READ MORE)

The Revelation 3/13/2026 10:24pm

Phoenix Quinn

"At least we're all together," Camy said. It was true. If we weren't all together on this ship... "Well, I suppose we should turn ourselves in. Stowaways and all," I said. "Wait? Are you crazy? Nobody ever takes kindly to stowaways," said Campbell. "We're not actually stowaways," I said. "It was a luggage accident. We fell in." "It's true we have no idea who's ship this is... who these people even are...," said Camy. &...(READ MORE)

The Crystal Skull 3/11/2026 11:17pm

Zamora the Magician

Name: Zamora Rank: Bearer of the Seal of Cruft, Harbinger of the Early Dawn, Level IX Leaf Blowing, Adeptus Nonchalantus, Order of the Topaz Star Status: Unknown. Last reported location: Reaper's Peak Work history: Weather worker in the Wandering Wastes, The Madness Zone Zombie Wrangler, The Distinctly Harrowing Hills Ranch, The Madness Zone Mystical Blimp Scrubber, Downy's Hand Wash, Fester Bridge, The Madness Zone Concession stand clerk, Regal Cinemas, Fresno, California...(READ MORE)

The Eolas Anatolijus 3/9/2026 10:44pm

Whitney Micrathene

"Well, it does look heavy," I said. "A statue? A sarcophagus?" "Honestly, it's a fossil," the lawyer said. "Nothing the Bubo can't handle. Doesn't really even need a heavy lifter." "You'll be happy for the extra power," she said. "It's going to be a wild ride home."...(READ MORE)

Eyes Without A Face 3/7/2026 11:30pm

Leroy Spindels

Naturally I didn't spend time making any "introductions." The entry to the pens was dark and windy, and I took my leave of the captain and crew before reaching where the creatures were held. As I left the great smelly hall from a side exit, however, I knew they'd found their way. The roars and screeching were horrendous, and I cleared out before I was in any danger of being injured. I listened to timber cracking and planks splitting and splashes till reached the outskirts of town....(READ MORE)

prixxi 3/5/2026 10:43pm

Bat Tango Magoo

yea we all go along with the whole "nanites curse" thing because it keeps everybody off our backs. think about it--when was the last time they actually killed a vampire with one of those things? resistance, baby. thousands of years of micro-exposure to those little thingies, floating around in the air. you've got 'em in you now, everybody's got them. so now i picked up a kitchen job on the prixxi. make it to the next stop. maybe get a bite....(READ MORE)

Egregore 3/3/2026 9:36pm

Rose Nomenclature

"and it won't be long now before--AIEEEEEEEE! Gak! Spur-ang-ang-ang! boinG!" The captain of the automatic mannequin destroyer's head was suddenly being eaten by what looked like a doll's head with mechanical spider legs. Dozens of them had suddenly smashed through the windshields of the bridge and were going after the crew of automatic mannequins with horrific gusto, sawing and buzzing and tearing their way through. I wasn't going to wait around to be next, and fled the bridge....(READ MORE)

SMILEYS BASEMENT 3/1/2026 10:51pm

Fine Mickey

"Status report, First Mate. Are we trimmed for departure?" "Aerostatic equilibrium achieved, Captain. We are at two percent heavy for the roll-out. Ballast tanks are topped, gas cells are at 95% capacity." "Understood. Helm, bring the engines to slow idle. Navigation, what's the wind shear at the tower edge?" "Wind is steady at 12 knots from the Northeast, Captain. We’ll have a crosswind as soon as the nose clears the hangar lip." "Copy...(READ MORE)

e 2/27/2026 9:40pm

Bretenda J

It took awhile, but eventually everybody in town left. In my town, anyway, but seems like it could be every town. Based on what's on the TV and radio. Which is nothing. And websites not updating. I walked to the grocery for some milk. They still had some that wasn't expired, and the refrigerators were still running. But how long was that going to last? And nobody would be delivering milk. The whole place was going to stink. What was I going to live on, frozen food? Then canned? Nobody's pi...(READ MORE)

The Metataxi 2/25/2026 11:49pm

Rita Pearl

"Well it is certainly easier to see, with the light you bring, @Rachel Innocence," I said. "And easier to travel," said @Runa SecretTradition. "And easier to find the threat," said @Ryung Brightness. "I am glad, my sisters," said @Rachel Innocence. "So what is this white sky, and this white rock we stand on?" I ask. "And what is this single point of darkness on the horizon? Not all is made clear, yet." "Belphang and...(READ MORE)

ol' big balloon 2/23/2026 8:01pm

Herbert Alamak

Dagnabbit! Here I am just trying to jump off this world and into another and what in the name of the Chocolate Twins happens? I get caught up in some pirate's net, and drug back down to the confounded dust. Who ever heard of something coming IN from the out there. Ain't nobody in their right mind wanna come here, and now what am I gonna do about it? You got no right! You hear me?! Let me up in that ship!...(READ MORE)

SS Evergreen 2/21/2026 11:33pm

Salty John

Fifth night on the island. No other signs of human inhabitants so far, but the airborne worms are a regular presence. And worms is the best description for what they are, squirming suspended in air by large bladders of either hot air or a lighter-than-air gas. We've been surprised more than once to find one floating directly above us, over the canopy of trees. Their eyesight seems limited, if existent at all. We do keep to the cover of the jungle, however, and never spend significant time expose...(READ MORE)

Nave-Straordinaria di Valoreon 2/19/2026 10:15am

Valoreon Alto

No no, do not worry Violetta... Houses are meant to be crashed into. Suburbs are meant to be overcome with fungus. Do not worry. We are doing right!...(READ MORE)

Razorcrest 2/18/2026 11:51pm

starfilly

maybe entropy compounding recursive visual-data idiom camo works too well since seems like nobody can see us at all now which sure i mean is good but we need to land a gig in this strange land if we want to collect the honey bundle goodness analogs it's gonna take to keep fred and zane buzzing, not to mention humboldt and darlene who aren't gonna touch the little bit of spider wasp jerky we've got left. nik, rik, chik have been scanning the EM bands for pirate broadcasts maybe they can find us a...(READ MORE)

Zap Colonize Epilog 2/14/2026 11:52pm

Willow and Birch

We cannot see through this muck. And the only smell is muck. "But our Chomon rings, sister!" cries Birch. "Look how they glow!" It is true. Their clear white light pierces through the muck. "This way dim, this way bright," Birch says, waving her hands to and fro. "To the light! To the light!" we cry together. "Through the muck to the source of Tara's song!"...(READ MORE)

The Sadie Hawkins 2/12/2026 9:31pm

Starry Skye

"What am I doing here?" the other me, asked. "It seems to have something to do with the fire breathing plasma moth chrysalis," Cat Tracer said. "How do you know what's in that box?" I asked Cat. "And why are you here, me? Why didn't you take the box?" "Cat said she needed a hand. Had a big score," the other me said. "But who are you?" Starry from this past -- the past where Cat had taken Hettie's chrysalis -- had the most...(READ MORE)

Steampunk to hell 2/10/2026 9:24pm

Luz Dunkel

"So YOU made the Impossibag?" I asked. "Oh, no. I'm no witch!" the captain laughed. "But I spent a lot of time at thrift stores. Looking for fabric, and finding old interesting bags. Looking for ideas. Just let me get back to my story."...(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai 2/8/2026 9:28pm

Billy Sabab

Being in the middle of an airship battle is confusing at the best of times. Worse when you didn't know which side you were on. "Shipman Eva. Can we... hide?" Tracers were flying everywhere and in all directions. Attack ships on fire on both sides. Strangely, we hadn't taken any hits. "Diving into the cloud bank below, captain. Hopefully those mountains aren't hiding too close themselves."...(READ MORE)

The Sightline 2/6/2026 11:18pm

Blue 1447j

"This is grueling. I hate marching. Especially endless marching." "Well it's better than being in the trenches." "You've been there? The front lines, I mean?" "Oh yeah. And then some. I'll take this any day." "I've never met anyone who's been there. Is your tour over?" "Ah, no. I'll be back. No doubt." "Is it as rough as they say?" "The Squid Machines are there to take the brunt of the punishment. And...(READ MORE)

agro 2/4/2026 11:45pm

Sour Pineapple

"I don't understand," I said. "What's the big picture?" I was still groggy from the mickey Mandy slipped me. "What we're doing is wrong, Piney," she said, slurping back and forth the floor of her office. "The Sentient Slime Empire is just growth for growth's sake. Penetrating markets, self replicating, packaging ourselves up for another campaign. It's not healthy for us, and certainly not for our target markets." "Empire? It's a network! Since...(READ MORE)

Mórbido do brejo 12/3/2024 4:56pm

Sapin

olha, eu sou boa nos serviço, nunca quebrei nada, so responsavel, gosto de sorvete, e moro no acre...(READ MORE)

Toxic Shipping #4583 11/1/2024 11:35pm

Little Matty

Boy am I glad to get out of Compound #8295. Sure, they seemed quite fond of me, but I figure this body's grown back as much as it's going to, and I gotta get out and see the world! I feel like a whole new guy, frankly. So I got ol' #4583 back into working order and I'm off to make my way in this great big toxic world. So long, toxic chumps!...(READ MORE)

The Bloody Death 5/8/2024 11:34am

Jonathan

I need money...(READ MORE)

Exordium & Terminus 1/21/2024 8:49am

Aelia

I accept the job offered......(READ MORE)

The Imaginary Potato 12/12/2023 8:49pm

Iliketrains.wheee

I like potatoes. Do I potatoes?...(READ MORE)

Government housing 12/4/2023 11:36am

Government housing

I take the job HEHEHE...(READ MORE)

404 not found 11/27/2023 2:43pm

huifdjhgbveghy

the crez hqs unfortunqtley been cursed to groz ,ustqches qfter the che,icqls got ,ixed qound: unfortuqnley ,y keyboqrd is still cursed; so nobody cqn reqd this:...(READ MORE)

SS. Simpson 11/13/2023 2:04pm

Dies Vitae

I hired 6 crew members, and the wild rock has eaten them all! Ships, please help! We are stranded at Bubblegum Island, full of deadly bunnies who will stop at nothing to eat you, quicksand/bubblegum, and a giant Bubblegum volcano that is due to erupt any minute now!...(READ MORE)

mondgilde 10/17/2023 11:40am

m00nglad3

...(READ MORE)

the Omega project 8/1/2023 9:54pm

Pinstripe

What is it like to be a pinstripe and lose your stripes? To be a jacket, deconstructed? What lies within, indeed? Mrs. Krause was kind as she clipped away the remnants and tatters of my old life. How did we finally locate The Great Dry Cleaners? How did we even make it from @smiley's warehouse to this fortunate ship? It's all a blur of traveling jacket hibernation and trans-pattern drift, aided perhaps by the consciousness expanding powers of nano-flavonids. If only @Houndstooth were here...(READ MORE)

spes 6/7/2023 3:07am

fugemo

?...(READ MORE)

Zephyrus 5/27/2023 11:12am

June

Hi, I have two people available to get these gears for you. Would that be enough? Precautions are a good thing to take....(READ MORE)

USA 4/14/2023 10:24am

NoOne

I picked up the specified object and dropped it off at the following location: 46°14′06″N 06°02′42″E, 2010...(READ MORE)

smiley's warehouse 2/12/2023 10:10pm

Herrringbone

At @Seersucker's request, I went in search of a janitorial station, looking for stain remover. After having no luck in a certain broom and mop closet I noticed one of the ceiling tiles ajar and decided to poke my (borrowed) head in to take a look. Naturally it was quite dark and I couldn't see anything but hints of a framework of metal supports, extending into the darkness like a wild jungle gym at night. But the breeze was fresh and there was a sense of space and openness, and I began to climb....(READ MORE)

SS.youhaveashrimpy 2/6/2023 2:37pm

rae

russia...(READ MORE)

Trade Federation 1/30/2023 9:18am

1233asas

yes...(READ MORE)

hindenburg 12/14/2022 10:26am

John doe

We set sail for america!...(READ MORE)

Battle Sub 10/11/2022 11:28am

mystery

day one lets see how this goes...(READ MORE)

-.-. --- .-. .--. --- .-. .- - .. --- -. ... / -.. 8/26/2022 8:40am

hmmm

This is my first job & I screw this up it's 'cause I did NOT get ANY training. Also yea, I accept it....(READ MORE)

Deadman's Last Ride 6/8/2022 6:15pm

Enfer

lost... again... who would have guessed it... we need a job, and one soon... we'll take anything at this point... crew's getting restless and annoyed... this is an... odd... situation......(READ MORE)

The Atlantic Sway 5/15/2022 11:04pm

Dr. Erwin Strand

Subject W114b** Breakthrough Intelligence Sequence Investigation  The aquatic mammal registered as @Northern Right Whale has consistently shown ULTRA MK level mastery of an increasingly sophisticated semiotic result chain and implementations. Graduation to operation Mama Goose has been approved.  The first airship specially scaled for large Earth whales has recently been completed. It is large enough to support a crew of 12 large Earth whales in its aquatic habitat. This “aquarium of...(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai in a tragically Sad America 5/13/2022 1:04pm

MayteeV

’Ello Maytee! I think I moight be able to help ye with the job, provided I shall be provided with coinage. As you can see, me sweet lady ship goes all the wae from the New World to the easter asian islands, and Me just so happens to be stationed about lil ol Koloszvar. The eye contact thengye won’t pose a roblem, as I robbed meself of sight in order to look kool while rocking the double eye patches. Anywaes, If ye wanna contact me, ye shall send a pigeon up in the sky, with a message and...(READ MORE)

S S Rosemary 5/12/2022 9:20am

Captain M Wood

Fellow Transporters! We at the S S Rosemary are officially taking our first job! We will be delivering black holes in canning jars for our client Chyppe Sol. Our port will be Tamkar-7 in Andromeda, which is a bit out of the way, so we understand if no-one wants to meet us there. Despite the assurances of the job posting, we will be spending a day black hole proofing our ship and ourselves, and we should be able to deliver in 2 earth days. SIgning off Capt M Wood...(READ MORE)

Non Sum Qualis Eram 5/1/2022 11:29pm

Asphodel Meadows

Dear Captain, I am leaving this note pinned to the hatch of the Non Sum Qualis Eram in hopes that you and your crew will discover it upon returning from lunch. I find the canteen at this particular aerodrome to be exceptional, as you no doubt discovered if you ordered their speciality -- grilled cheese and tomato soup! Even if you are not a tomato soup fan I believe you will find it utterly irresistible. I frequently come to this particular aerodrome to judge the measure of the various sh...(READ MORE)

Wait what do I put here? 2/26/2022 2:06am

Shelale M.

Im just an amateur, please be nice to me captain TvT...(READ MORE)

Voyager 7/9/2021 4:49pm

max

hi...(READ MORE)

sus 6/16/2021 1:51pm

pink

sus among us best yes beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeep rubux robux robux yes yes ye s yeysss death...(READ MORE)

Golden Stone 3/15/2021 7:26pm

Dirac Fermion

Hey has anybody seen my antiparticle? And let me give you a hint it's not my sister Majorana. Anybody can tell she's her OWN antiparticle. She thinks everything is always about her. She's so high energy. AND maintenance. It's ME who has to worry about my antiparticle showing up at any minute, poofing me out of existence. It's why I stowed away here on the Golden Stone. My antiparticle would NEVER think of looking for me h-----...(READ MORE)

Fart Squad 1/7/2021 5:51pm

StinkyFart

i fart, it stink, ow stinky hlep.,...(READ MORE)

04 12/14/2020 8:54pm

Officer Fresno

Hullo? tap tap tap Anybody home? Sorry I'm late. There was a paperwork mixup down at the station. Anyway, we had a report of some suspicious activity so we're just following up. Anybody? tap tap tap...(READ MORE)

St. Ableberry 11/22/2020 2:30pm

Pantha Abelberry

It's no problem! I can speak draconic, so the dragons will probably understand! I'll get right to it!...(READ MORE)

Battle Bus 11/18/2020 10:53pm

Pomme Contrebandier

C'est ainsi qu'a commencé notre plus belle vie à l'âge de pierre de l'univers 4A. J'ai trouvé que mon partenaire commercial était un homme changé. L'air frais et l'exercice lui ont fait du bien, sans parler du soleil, que sa peau blanche et pâteuse avait rarement ou jamais vue auparavant. Cela, associé au pain surnaturellement nutritif de l'âge de pierre de l'univers 4A, a donné à mon partenaire autrefois paresseux et obséquieux une nouvelle résilience. Maintenant qu'il a part...(READ MORE)

USS Enterprise 11/16/2020 11:04am

Captain Squirrel Esq

Land, ho! And a yo-ho-ho to you, which is just one yo- away form Santa, with all the Jollyness it brings! We are hereby most honoured to undertake this brave venture, and hand over these here Ancient Shortbreads even more Ancient to the recipient, in five years time! It shall certainly add to the value of the vintage. In the meantime, we shall boldly skedaddle, where no man has skedaddled off to before!...(READ MORE)

Gamer 11/3/2020 9:34am

Brap

This job be so fine...(READ MORE)

jdfalf 10/26/2020 3:33am

ProCluck77

fff...(READ MORE)

The Warrior13 9/30/2020 12:26pm

Luna R. W.

9/30/2020 I'm so happy to take this job I hope nothing blows up like last time!...(READ MORE)

The Mad-lad Potato 8/14/2020 10:52pm

Roberto Shelton, Jr.

Reality Generation Newsletter -- August Edition Thanks to @Captain Alea Downton and her top-notch crew of singing lasses of the air, reality generation devices were successfully deployed in the Faulkton, Henderson, Wuppertal, Miyazaki, Lyubertsy, Aastaurmond, Chauxhall, and Pastoria City areas. This created the the additional "ooomph" necessary to straighten out the kinks in the Great Trunk, and should keep things running smoothly in this generated reality for some time to come (or...(READ MORE)

Skyside 4/21/2020 3:26pm

Sarika

ill take the job, but only if you kill them too...(READ MORE)

Dragon's Tooth 12/22/2019 11:11pm

Clammy Hamsphere

I've been having trouble convincing my brothers three to get together to watch the new Mermaid Imperium. Back during the hard times, that show really brought us together. But now that we're all rich as kings it's like we've lost what's really important between us. We might all have housekeepers and AI powered bidets, but we've traded it for our humanity. I'm having trouble finding that station again anyway. Can't remember which of the 7,218,198 channels it was. It was some kind of public acc...(READ MORE)

The Rapture 12/1/2019 10:43am

that_name_isnt_taken

The Rapture left the continent of North America from Patrick’s AFB from Brevard County, Florida, USA, on Sunday, December 1st, 2019 at 1:27 PM EST. At 1:30 PM, several miles off shore, The Rapture activated an experimental device created by Terrazian Futuristics, called “THE WORLD,” causing Earth to appear to slow to almost a complete stop. In reality, The Rapture is going at extreme speeds. The Rapture exited “THE WORLD” at 1:32 PM EST off the coast of Guinea. The airship continued...(READ MORE)

Conquest 10/23/2018 11:57pm

Cara

Might be something with the transmission, but somethings going wrong. I don't think anything is getting through. If it is, I really need that job done, but it isn't showing up. I don't think the managers know that I'm kinda stuck. well, help if you can....(READ MORE)

Atlas 10/11/2018 11:39pm

Alex Marleybone

The Resurfacing has been accomplished with hardly a dent to the army. The Desert Arachni were admittedly reluctant to face defeat, and some good men had been lost to the gracious cause. Their deaths were not in vain, however. The breach into the ancient surface had been successful, despite the sacrifice of some beautiful ruins. When witnessing such destruction had reminded me of the previous memories of attending expeditions with my old crew mates, and how we planned months to reach here. Since...(READ MORE)

Ventura 7/23/2018 8:47pm

Olivia Diaz

It's so satisfying to have one's theories proven true. If only there was some way to share it with the people back home! And by home, of course, I mean Earth. We were prepared for this, and had been transmitting data back to HQ up till the very last minute. No doubt the last of it got a bit garbled in some interesting ways, but hopefully they'll find something useful in it. But the fact remains that our theories about the Brane were correct--that by reuniting it with its entangled partn...(READ MORE)

The Savage 5/31/2018 3:20pm

captain ryan

My ship is a savage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...(READ MORE)

The Knight Snug 4/29/2018 5:26pm

Facewoods

Yo...(READ MORE)

The Holy Bibbizle 4/29/2018 2:32am

Grape Man Jones

God bless The Holy Bibbizle...(READ MORE)

Coney Island Baby 2/5/2018 8:10pm

Lou Grass

Welcome Aboard!...(READ MORE)

Claudette 2/3/2018 11:18pm

Melinda Artaud

Silver Springs Capital Management was thrilled to have our oversupply of R's, S's, and T's removed from circulation from Orbis Eruditi, but our books show that we still owe the Claudette for the removal. Our attempts at remittance to your Accounts Receivable have gone unanswered. Is there another way we should be paying you? We have 75 capital vowels of various denominations still awaiting your acceptance on our docks, and are ready to send them to any accredited grapheme logography of your choo...(READ MORE)

Viola Ventura 1/30/2018 1:28pm

Little Bo Johnson

Here at Viola Ventura we're capable of removing any kind of wreckage from any kind of place. Our ship is currently being refueled for the trip. We will arrive in 20 to 30 hours....(READ MORE)

USS Bizzle 1/25/2018 8:54am

Ronald Baldwin

Bizzle is here to run ish...(READ MORE)

Alis Gloriae 1/25/2018 4:53am

Veedle

Captain's Log: 1/25/18 Currently on our way to Oslo to receive repairs. All cargo-workers involved in the sandwich incident have been sacked. Have sent an official apology out. Veedle...(READ MORE)

Shining Machine 1/24/2018 8:18pm

Ricky VII

- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .-.. .--. / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- / .-. . .- ... --- -. / - --- / ..-. .-.. -.-- / ..-. --- .-. . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / --- .... / ... - --- .--. / - .... . / -- --- ..- -. - .- .. -. ... / .- .-. . / .--- ..- ... - / ... --- / ...- . .-. -.-- /...(READ MORE)

The Chiron 1/22/2018 5:41am

Wind Ghosts

22/01 - Delivery successful, no major incidents to report. Cargo has been taken off ship by handlers. On our way back to home base...(READ MORE)

Nemesis 1/20/2018 2:47pm

Trix

This cat is wanted dead or alive, so that's how I'll deliver it!...(READ MORE)

Steel Aurora 1/19/2018 10:34am

Tate

the north koreans are getting a little upsetti at the lack of confetti i would have gotten the fuel by now but im duct taped to the bow........(READ MORE)

Night Pigeon 1/15/2018 5:09am

Dvorak Iahdl

Just accepted a job so I guess I’m taking flight....(READ MORE)

The Flying Captain 1/14/2018 6:23am

AyeAyeCaptain

Free confetti...(READ MORE)

Solstice 1/12/2018 12:38am

smollbeanboii

Finally loaded and leaving Thailand. The Solstice will be headed to New York where we have the most peculiar drop off instructions. Under any dumpster. What on earth could the buyer be doing that he has the free time to check under every dumpster in New York City. But who am I to argue?...(READ MORE)

Der Puce Wal 1/11/2018 3:10am

DeMarcus J. Tyree II

Der Puce Wal ist betriebsbereit und bessere Tage liegen vor uns! Capt. D.J Tyree II is ready and willing to transport any and all gadgets, thingamajigs, doodads, whatsits, and gizmos no matter how dangerous or bizarrely worded. However, under NO circumstance will the honorable captain be liable to transport gubbins or ROUS....(READ MORE)