ALL SHIPS' LOGS

ol' big balloon 10/23/2025 10:44pm

Lady Bast

"There's debris coming through, captain." "Anything we can't handle?" "Looks like... some plant material, dirt.... part of what looks like it was a structure, maybe a barn. Oh, and a body." "A body? Alive?" "Hard to tell captain. But it looks like we'll come right up to it." "Get the rigsmen to the catwalks with the hooks and see if you can bring it in. Helm, get us through that aperture before it closes." "Aye ma...(READ MORE)

SS Evergreen 10/21/2025 10:48pm

Salty John

"By god it is an island! Look through the glass! There! Between the waves!" "You're right! We're saved!" "The sooner we're off this leaky lifeboat the better. Grab an oar!" "Wait, there's something funny about that island..." "ANY island will do, man! We need water! Cocoanuts! Let's row!" "Hold on. Take another look. It's swarming with... small airships?" "Lemme see that..." "Or giant bees. Wasps.&quo...(READ MORE)

Razorcrest 10/19/2025 9:07pm

starfilly

made a pretty good compromise on the ship design (see attached) in that article can understand how some of my less abstract images like Starry Unicorn and Space Tiger Lily and Skunk King could attract undo attention and something more camo would be better for our needs and since all the sudden we are data smugglers I had just the thing which is a an entropy compounding recursive visual-data idiom really basic stuff actually but turns out to be just the thing for letting us fly through the nets a...(READ MORE)

Nave-Straordinaria di Valoreon 10/17/2025 6:58am

Valoreon Alto

Got it! I am brilliant at not questioning things as I used to go to the Psychic High School so you're in good hands! Can't wait for me and the good ol' Nave-Straordinaria di Valoreon to go on our first trip of our job! Just to make sure-- I'll do it anyways-- but it's nothin' illegal... right?...(READ MORE)

Zap Colonize Epilog 10/15/2025 11:27pm

Sister Elm

"Ewwwwwwww it stinks! It stinks!" cried @Willow and Birch simultaneously. "Away! Flee!" "It's not that bad," said Little Sister Oak. "It will be good for our skin." Willow and Birch were not wrong. But with the eyes of the rest of the fairy host upon me...." "Oh bitter Muck, your stench--" "That's fine, @Teak," I said. "Save it for when we make it back. With Tara." "For Tara!" I cry to the host, f...(READ MORE)

The Sadie Hawkins 10/13/2025 10:12pm

Armando Lupiz

Ol' Billy Nails wasn't having it. "Aw, no, captain. Ms. Amalasuintha would never get involved with such rash of pirates and cutthroats." "Well, Billy, maybe she didn't know what kinda trouble they were. Maybe she just liked a steady buyer for her Langpa fur and Frinlic plumes. She raises them, doesn't she? It's only natural she'd sell 'em. You seen any buyers around here? Any trips to market?" Billy looked down at his boots. Like he always did when he was thinking....(READ MORE)

Steampunk to hell 10/11/2025 11:31pm

Rose Shaken

I was working as a shopgirl at Newport & Mains. It was my fourth or fifth job. I quit in the middle of the Christmas rush, when I learned I just wasn't cut out for that level of customer service. There was a particular middle-aged woman, Isotoner gloves, gabardine coat, who was disgusted with me that we were out of silicone breast handlers in a particular color, and I just sat down on the floor behind the register and stared off into space. As her babbling faded into the distance, I began to...(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai 10/9/2025 10:21pm

Billy Sabab

"The Haunted Dolls are gearing up," said Ensign Marvelous. "They're all lining up at the hatches and twittering like crazy. I didn't knw there were this many on board. We're crawling with them." They'd made it clear where we needed to drop them off. Literally let them jump right out of the ship. In the clouds in the middle of the night. Right up on the crest of a mountain range. Somewhere ahead lay the lost city. "Haunted Doll to see you, captain," Shipman Eva...(READ MORE)

The Sightline 10/7/2025 10:26pm

Enrich Hue

"Well the parade certainly looks glorious today, doesn't it Bob?" "That's right Hue. And a beautiful day for it." "There's that beautiful yellow luminescence coming down through the irradiated ionosphere." "And reflecting so powerfully from the face screens of honor guard." "We're all honored, Bob. And here come the Squid Machines!" "Exciting to see them featured at the front of the parade..." "That's right Hue. U...(READ MORE)

agro 10/5/2025 10:20pm

Mandy Maple

Ol' Piney was always a big lug, but I never had to try and slide his big ol' slime self around with him all unconscious-like. In the original plan, I'd have just sipped the delivery pilot's body into one of the fermentation molds. Those source excretions were hungry, and if one of them got dissolved in it, hey--isn't that's what being "all in" was all about? But Sour Pineapple wasn't "one of them" exactly. I mean, sure, he wasn't part of the movement, but he just hadn...(READ MORE)

No Questions Asked 10/3/2025 11:04pm

S. Glenn

I left the moving sidewalk and headed down an empty hall. One of the older, less fashionable wings of the orbital living structure. Up an escalator to an abandoned office promenade. Black windows. Around a corner, at the blind spot between two cameras, I open a door to one of the empty offices. It isn't locked. In the darkened waiting room, I remove my left arm and put it on the reception desk. I walk back behind the desk and remove my left leg. I hop on down the hall till it takes a turn...(READ MORE)

base 1 10/1/2025 9:25pm

Mickey Fine

So I ditched the jacket. Well, I took it off, which was hard enough on its own. It’d gotten so stiff after the pen explosion it took all I could muster to peel it off. Got a couple of scratches and might have strained my wrist. But something won’t let me put it in a dumpster. Maybe because it’s for the lost and found and not really mine, but for now I wrapped the rusty key in it and rockin my janitor’s shirt. Maybe that’s my cover here in this Base: anonymous janitor. Same as my ol...(READ MORE)

The Hartlepool 9/29/2025 11:14pm

Private Vervet

"Aw, Mona, I just knew it would turn out like this." "I'll be fine, Bertie. I just need a little rest." "Don't you fall asleep! I'm going to get some bandages. And medicine." "Oh Bertie they're watching all the pharmacies. You'll get spotted for sure." "I really don't think they're prepared for cybernetic monkey stealth mode." "Well of course they are. The cops are working with the ISB. They've probably got full spectrum analy...(READ MORE)

Stratospheric Aerodrome Renoire 9/27/2025 10:24pm

Zephyr Ambulance LTD

*hey!!* -knock- -knock- -knock- *let us out of this bottle!* -knock- -knock- -knock-...(READ MORE)

Zeppelin Zoologica 9/25/2025 9:36pm

THE IMPOSSIMEN

DIDEL: Are you sure you've never been in a movie? No modeling? CANDY: I swear! Not since plays in grade school! DIDEL: Then I just might have struck gold! You've got that star quality that's one in a million, baby. Come out to the fountain and let me get a look at you in the moonlight. *DIDEL leads CANDY out to the patio. CANDY lights up a joint* CANDY: Want a puff? DIDEL: In a sec. You just stroll down along the side of the fountain there. CANDY: Into those shadows? DIDEL:...(READ MORE)

Spatuloso 9/23/2025 9:13pm

Auto Slops

"Wow! Your Bindy Binder Man never even moved in! Everything's covered in PLAAASTIC!" I really did not like this Binder Man in my repair hole. I listed from side to side trying to shake him free. "Whoa there big guy! You're supposed to give a little warning before you do that! Give the Binder Man a chance to strap in!" Is this really something ALL the Bluefins had inside them? "Well, yeah, of course!" He could hear what I was thinking? "Well I...(READ MORE)

Moonbeam 9/21/2025 10:35pm

Spaz Skunk

"I think it's time to move on, captain," said Bridget the Boar. The Therianthrope had been circling the debris for hours, flotsam and jetsam stirred up by the island when it sunk. Hoping against hope for @Harry Otter or Big Bulldog. But move on to where? This was Big Bulldog's show, sniffing his way to this Mermaid Imperium of his. Badger Bijan had taken over the Moonbeam with its crew of rats, but none of them had any idea where Big Bulldog thought he was taking us. I don't eve...(READ MORE)

The Redmane 9/19/2025 10:26pm

Kendall Warren

The sun never sets in the Land of Salty Silver Fruits. "Well, there isn't a sun," said the navigator, astutely, looking at the sky. "It's more of just a general golden glow." "I wonder why it isn't silver," said the captain. "It's the fruits that are silver," I said. "Well all I can see are sparkles in this moss and on this forest floor. I think our tracker is taking us for a ride," said the captain. Josh ambled ahead, watching the...(READ MORE)

The Nimble Shroud 9/17/2025 10:56pm

Lt. Denkt

The giant, bloated witch-blimp bobbed in the night air over the beach, then slowly turned our way. "Baaaaaaaa," said Captain @katelynn. It's long hooked nose cast a shadow in the moonlight. Coming closer. "Well put your hand over her mouth!" I whispered. "I think she'd bite," said Dranitsyn. "She doesn't like to be touched," said Khlebnikov "Baaaaaaaa," said Captain @katelynn. And with a terrifying swiftness, the blimp-witch...(READ MORE)

The FV GlobeRoamer 9/15/2025 10:44pm

Robert Trebor

Sure, time seems like it runs backwards if all you've got are memories. If you're lucky, those memories are comfortable. Everything makes sense looking backwards. If you're unlucky, memories are not so kind, but they fill your mind anyway. So it's easy for forget we're really moving forwards. Since you've got to forget everything first....(READ MORE)

USS Imperative 9/13/2025 9:54pm

Fritzi Zwicki

Adam Pausa was a thin man, but after hearing my story he became quite bloated. Like his skin was a sack that just had a half ton of manure dumped into it. BUUURRRRRRRP "Uh... yes," he said, wiping spittle from the side of his mouth. "You narrative will fit our campaign nicely. MARISSA!!! Get this man to make-up immediately."...(READ MORE)

Ay Queen Fir 9/11/2025 10:39pm

Altus Avius

If anything, the Ay Queen Fir has taken on too many crew members if you ask me. Hot bunking it, mess is cheek to jowl. Whole ship's overburdened we hardly made it over whatever that last mountain range was. Truth be told, wouldn't be so bad if we had to thin the herd......(READ MORE)

The Unfamiliar Cabbage 9/9/2025 10:17pm

Hugh Stubb

Folks around here don't give much truck to fancy thinkin. Those over educated elites from their colleges and university over there don't know what it's like not to have a thought in your head, so when they come out here to the Western Rim spoutin their nonsense it falls on deaf ears, if you know what I mean. And we're not spending no money for a library full of them braille books for the deaf to read either. We don't need their big thoughts and anyway seems like too much work to get em inside of...(READ MORE)

Minecraft is the best 9/7/2025 11:05pm

Roberto Shelton

"What city did you say this was?" "Oh I didn't even look. It was the closest one on the map," Puppy Grande said. The deserted town had come back to life, complete with traffic and shoppers on the sidewalks and the overgrown weeds in the cracks all gone. The air was fresher and the whole place had a sense of "going somewhere," even though it was planted right in the same place as the deserted version we had just walked through. And as the town came back, I c...(READ MORE)

WonderFly9000 9/5/2025 11:05pm

Milt McGee

"Sheesh Tom," I said. "If that's got your kitty knickers in a knot then I'm not sure you're going to be able to make it too far along down here." What had Tom paralyzed with fear was an avatar of Cowmumble, one of the pantheon of demons in the Underland brochure. "Th.. th... the... udderrrrrrrsssss..." Tom was able to mumble. It's true, the fiery udders, along with the gruesome horns and needle sharp fangs of Cowmumble were terrifying, and even more so whe...(READ MORE)

Microwave Explosion 9/3/2025 11:01pm

Queen of the Hudson

"Oh good lord. More tourists." I couldn't believe they were talking about me. Much less that they seemed to be prismatic light beings. "Well, aren't we all? Just passing through, you know," said the other one. Each was generally human shaped, but made of bands of pure color, vibrating, like laser beams caught in a bottle. "Where are we?" asked @Larry Fantasio. "In a cave? In their trailer?" "Haven't moved a step," said Black Hermione...(READ MORE)

The Flying Comrade 9/1/2025 11:46pm

Little Green Avatar

COMPLIMENTARY UNFOLDABLE MIND MAP First of all, see this little dot? That's us. Right now. Oh it hurts my big spooky-action-at-a-distance brain to even think about it. Ugh! So tiny! Like a big railroad spike ice cream headache right between of my three eyes. Because it's so constraining. And ridiculous! Now, when I pull this little tab here, on the edge of the map, just look what happens.......(READ MORE)

the merchant's coop 8/30/2025 11:23pm

Raine Willoughby

Between the natatorium, the viridarium, the triclinium, cenaculums, and cubiculums, I was feeling pretty queasy. You could get lost in this place, but in all different directions. And it wasn't from the monkeys. There was a deeper cut here in the fabric, something bigger behind beneath it all. I took a walk on the xystus to get some air and clear my mind....(READ MORE)

The Useless Precaution 8/28/2025 9:10pm

Count Almaviva

«Tenetevi forte!» gridò l'uomo scimmia. Minerva DePlume, Beneficent Sal e io ci aggrappavamo ai lunghi peli di un enorme bradipo, più grande di qualsiasi elefante, ma comunque veloce. «Guardate come scivola tra le cime degli alberi!» gridò l'uomo scimmia. «Cosa rende questo bradipo gigante così veloce?», chiesi all'uomo scimmia. I bradipi giganti non erano noti per la loro velocità. «È lenta solo quando è timida», mi rivelò l'uomo scimmia. Era facile impigliarsi co...(READ MORE)

Nixxi 8/26/2025 10:42pm

Four-hole Flat

Welcome, you big buttons! You big button conclave! My big button colleagues! Wow. I've never seen so many big buttons in one place. Gee-o-eeeee. Makes me kind of... freaked out. So many buttons. Too many buttons. It's a calvacade of buttons spinning out of control!...(READ MORE)

HMS Dunwall 8/24/2025 9:29pm

Shesmetet

My kittens! My kittens! Why barkest thou? Who of your prey is escaping? Which amongst you shall talk? Our weave of curses in incomplete In this Hall of Crystal Vision Find her! Chase!...(READ MORE)

bonerabbit 8/22/2025 8:08pm

Jambi of Fanta

"Celestial Presidents, eh?" The townsfolk mumble in agreement and look at their shoes. They're still scared of me. "You know this would be your third wish?" "That second wish didn't---" "Hush, Jed," @Mick Riverton says. He's always the sensible one." "Yes, we know," Mick says. But the Celestial Presidents aren't to be trifled with. Those are some seriously deep curses. I'll need to do some research. "Back in a flash...(READ MORE)

Liberate Tuteme 8/20/2025 8:56pm

Shipman Eva

"He's quite talkative, really." "He?" "Hasn't spoken to anyone for a long long time." "What does he talk about?" "Ancient history. Mermaids." "Mermaids, eh?" "Yes! Have you heard of the Mermaid Imperium? Well, you see, a long time ago--" "Do you think the Zaratan--" "Mwo." "Mwo?" "Mwo is his name." "Do you think that Mwo would take our direction? Go...(READ MORE)

Albion 8/18/2025 3:13pm

Randi Quarter

"Peppermint Bay ahoy!" I cry. I cry it from the bridge and into the speaking tubes. The rest of the crew is too exhausted to respond. Most of them remain curled up in their bunks, still suffering delayed stress from the reign of the Doll Bosses. And though she's our liberator, it's been hard for the crew to be anything but terrified of the Dollbomination. A good bit of shore leave is what all of us need. I just worry how we'll make it through quarantine....(READ MORE)

DENZIRO IX 8/16/2025 1:21pm

Fatty Hosier

"Your plot is getting mighty close to mine," Blossom Droplet said. Blossom was mighty sweet, and her blooms were fresh as the spring dew. "Well heck, Blossom," I said. "You're so pretty a sturdy weed like myself just can't help wanting to..." "Cross pollinate?" said Blossom. "You can just go ahead and say it. We're both old enough." I felt a dilation in my corpuscles and had to look away I was so embarrassed. But wasn't it a good sig...(READ MORE)

TSFTB Ship #12 8/14/2025 9:37pm

Nick Nobs

Captain says getting to the Ripple Town is more about the rhythm than the speed. Phase variance. And even with those Nemphis Worms grinding our gears, ol' #12 still has what it takes, skipping and bumping over the surface of the Wave Kingdom Soon we take a dive, flying down through impossible spires of crystal and coral, then down city streets, past butcher shops and haberdasheries. Streetlights and stoplights reflect off the damp asphalt, stretching the scene around us till we find ourselve...(READ MORE)

Denali XV 8/12/2025 8:31pm

Loretta Max

The giant silverware was a bit longer than they put in their job request. Had to let it hang out the back with a flag on it, and sure enough half way out of Old Forks they broke free and landed with an amazing clatter up and down Fourth street. Nobody was injured but it impaled a Honda pretty good. Of course Zephyr Air Transport has insurance, but my rating's going to take quite a hit....(READ MORE)

Invictus 8/10/2025 9:35pm

Nathan Hill

Well this was a surprising turn of events. "Oh I saw that coming," I said. "Oh no you never did," said the kindly old woman. Er, Marta. Was that really her name? "But what's this about 'Anti-sense?'" First Mate Quiller asked, "That doesn't make any sense. Either." "Yeah," I said, something making sense to me for the very first time. "Isn't a big dose of 'sense' just what everybody needs?" "Ah, see, that's exactly it....(READ MORE)

Thot Slayer 8/8/2025 9:12pm

Slobodkina

Turns out airships can fly just fine in zero-G. And boy is there a lot of stuff to fly around! That big hole in the Antarctic polar desert opened up into a whole new land, and there didn't seem to be an up or down, but it was all lit up and filled with craggy islands made of rock or crystal or I don't know what just floating around, big and in the distance. Didn't seem to be much life in it. No ships or neon signs or Zephyr Air Quick Stations. And what happened to the Little Holographic T...(READ MORE)

Berrysoul 8/6/2025 11:53pm

Tina Marie

"They're... gone?" "Yes Dinah." "Did they look everywhere?" "Yes. They've gotten away." "But... it's not safe! Something will eat them!" "I'm sorry dear. But you'll just have to learn to live without giants." "..... BWAAAAAAA!!!!!"...(READ MORE)

Murder of Crows 8/4/2025 5:50pm

Master Willi

Do you spend a lot of time, staring at the knotty pine?...(READ MORE)

Maryellen-Carter 8/2/2025 10:58pm

Isabella Isoptera

So I guess there's a lot of us. Queens with chemical imbalances. Or pre-Queens, I guess, since we haven't, you know, gone through "the change." "Why don't you want to become the factories of our great empire?" asks the regnaltis. The other girls just look down at their tarsi and avoid eye contact. "Because we don't want to be the mothers of oppression and destruction?" "Allocrinist! Another round for the girls!"...(READ MORE)

Apollo 7/31/2025 11:40pm

Geshuranthiel

KELBRIAH ZAH DRAELUM VETHAR, ONAZETH MALCHET ZIR'NAN IRTH! ZORATH ILUN MEKHTAA VEH ELENDRETH. SAQUA—THURINEL!—KAAV EX DUMIEL, EX DUMIEL, EX DUMIEL. SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEÉ!!!!!!!!!!!!...(READ MORE)

The Celestial Voyager 7/29/2025 10:58pm

Darla Lambert

"Well it keeps the dog from barking." "But it's only supposed to go off if we push the remote. This thing goes off all the time. If we mount it out in the yard it'll be going off randomly, even when he doesn't bark." "Still, he's stopped barking." "But it's cruel and unusual. It'd be like torture. They do that to prisoners--blast loud noises at random times..." "It's not that bad." "It's at a frequency you can't hear. Only dog...(READ MORE)

Araceli 7/27/2025 7:18pm

Anything_Owl

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY WEIRDOS IN MY WOODS?! ON SABBATICAL FROM MY POSITION AS INTERIM MANAGER OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE AND THE INTERREGNUM MEET YET TO COME, JUST TRYING TO UNWIND A BIT IN MY SUMMER OFFICE NEST, MAYBE A BIT OF FISHING, MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS... WELL, OK, REGARDLESS OF MY OFFICIAL POSITIONS AND TITLES I AM AND WILL ALWAYS BE MASTER OF NESTS. SWOOPER OF SWOOPS. AN ENTITY LIKE ME JUST CAN'T HELP ITSELF, AMIRITE? NO MATTER THE RULING MYTHOPEDIC AUTHORITATIVE CLOUD...(READ MORE)

Sphinx Nerif 7/25/2025 10:53pm

Megan Virago

DEAR CLIENT: It was the fishermen that finally led us out of that god forsaken featureless sea. When we spotted the white triangular sail of the first little dhow we thought it was just another trick of the light, and caused the usual bickering we'd fallen into with nothing but featureless sea and flying fish for, well, longer than I'd like to admit, but the fishermen responded with friendly waves and we followed them to more ships, and before we knew it we found the forlorn silhouette of Unc...(READ MORE)

E.L. Spence 7/23/2025 8:21pm

Jeri Jade

"So, you see here, line 1552..." "Next to the dot?" asked Mrs. Vandenberg. "Er, yes. Well, that line really should be included here, in the sub-dynamic subtotal, but you can see that number is short..." "Do you have a problem with the Spots, Ms. Jade? Boxes O' Pox? You take them to work?" "Well, everybody has some dots, now and then," I answered, sheepishly. "Yes. Yes they do..." said Mrs. Vandenberg. "So..."...(READ MORE)

U.S.S. Lilybug 7/21/2025 9:54pm

Cetacea Jones

The Sky Whales have taken us way north of North Proxton. North North Proxton? I am pretty sure the Sky Whale Wilderness does not extend this far. What is even this far north? I asked for a look at some maps but Captain isn't taking any visitors, locked up in the radio room, freaking out, everybody supposes. Crew's pretty nervous too, and even though I keep telling them the Sky Whales are our friends, I'm not getting anything but mean looks. I mean, just because I'm the aerocetologist. The Sk...(READ MORE)

The Mephitis 7/19/2025 10:05pm

Captain Pirate II

"We're here to meet our party," Captain Pirate V told the maitre d'. We were in the waiting area of a fancy restaurant. At a resort. It was very warm. "Ah, I see him!." Captain Pirate V said. "We'll seat ourselves. Thank you." Everyone in the restaurant was dressed. Casually, but nicely. My face was puffy and bleeding, and my uniform torn. Captain Pirate V and Captain Pirate III looked better, but we didn't fit in at all. It was like we'd all come straigh...(READ MORE)

The Revelation 7/17/2025 11:35pm

Phoenix Quinn

What ensued was a classic slapstick comedy routine of the three of us getting knocked about by automated baggage carts and flung into bins and onto conveyor belts. We'd entered a mechanized jungle, towers of tubes and pipes and lifts and ladders stretching over our heads, everything abuzz with movement and activity. After a minute, we got our footing. There was a rhythm to it. You needed to bend your knees a little. I tried talking, calling out something like "Wow what a place"...(READ MORE)

The Crystal Skull 7/15/2025 11:14pm

Mandy Pigtail

"And what about @Andrew?" I asked. "He may recover," said @Merlina the Magician. "Feed him only nuts and berries and water. No processed foods!" "Well, okay then." "Bon voyage!" "So long!" "See ya!" "Bye." "Are you sure you have the coordinates?" "Yup. Right here." "And all your provisions?" "Yes. Thank you again for the sandwiches." "My pl...(READ MORE)

The Eolas Anatolijus 7/13/2025 11:05pm

Whitney Micrathene

The upfront money from the lawyer was just slightly more than it took to get the Bubo into good enough shape to make it to Kle-hemet and back, with something heavy. "How 'bout some lunch, cap'n? This maintenance is hard work! Especially in the middle of the day, especially with this hot desert sun, and the lack of..." Ok the upfront money was entirely spent. "Zephyr Air Transport certified you said?" It was the lawyer. She was back early. "Check your watc...(READ MORE)

Eyes Without A Face 7/11/2025 11:27pm

Grace Gearhorn

"I guess I was expecting something... grander," I said. "It's the location the shopkeeper gave us," @Ensign Charmers said. "Didn't notice many other options on our way in." Up close, the Leeward Reaches lost their epic, glowing grandeur and had become something more fetid and murky. The substrate that was home to the bioluminescence became more and more diffuse, fuzzy and dissolving in the murk. The station the shopkeeper had directed us to was ramshackle, wit...(READ MORE)

prixxi 7/9/2025 10:32pm

Juli Gallant

Rudy says he can get us in to a Fingerfates wedding he knows a cousin of on Bexdor, our next stop, and that a Fingerfates wedding is a thing everybody should see once in their lives, what with the fire eaters and live food and traditional costumes. I said sure I'm game maybe @sara granger too. Broke another nail today. Bad for business the Captain says but then why don't I get a job on the bridge running the radio or something and not moving crates of Erroneous Nail Discovery Kits all day. S...(READ MORE)

Egregore 7/7/2025 11:29pm

Rose Nomenclature

As big as the Egregore is, I could always find some place to hide myself. But I didn't want these bozos to trash the place looking for me. So I tucked Mweek away behind a false bookshelf, and I tucked the googles and Madam Zita's Enchanted Crystal Ball in there too, and of course "The Traits, Features, Characteristics, Peculiarities, Mannerisms, Qualities, and Attributes of the Hymergian Man-Fungus," with fold-out illustrations intact. Too many troublesome items I'd gathered on this ad...(READ MORE)

SMILEYS BASEMENT 7/5/2025 10:46pm

Sharkskin 44

I didn't see what all these instant breakfast toys were going to do for us. "But they bring so much joy to the little children!" @Gabardine said, balancing the tiny figures on its sleeves. It was clear Gabardine was starting to lose it. Thread count degradation from traversing the PERC, now becoming slowly unwound in Smileys Basement. A basement already filled with smileys. And so many rooms, their big doors sliding open and shut, seemingly at random... but could there be a patt...(READ MORE)

e 7/3/2025 11:52pm

Phil Pringle

Hey! Giant girl! Knock knock! Let me out of this jar! *knock knock knock* Up here! Third shelf to the right! *knock knock knock* No! Come back!...(READ MORE)

The Metataxi 7/1/2025 11:56pm

Ran Pleasing

"Ooof!" "Sorry Captain," I said, "but I really can't see a thing." "That's quite all right," said the captain. "Understandable in the circumstances." We were making our way down what felt like a steep mountain face, smooth as obsidian, but our crampons and picks could shatter their way into it and give us traction. "Forgive, me captain," I said, "but remind me again why we couldn't bring a torch?" The captain wa...(READ MORE)

Mórbido do brejo 12/3/2024 4:56pm

Sapin

olha, eu sou boa nos serviço, nunca quebrei nada, so responsavel, gosto de sorvete, e moro no acre...(READ MORE)

Toxic Shipping #4583 11/1/2024 11:35pm

Little Matty

Boy am I glad to get out of Compound #8295. Sure, they seemed quite fond of me, but I figure this body's grown back as much as it's going to, and I gotta get out and see the world! I feel like a whole new guy, frankly. So I got ol' #4583 back into working order and I'm off to make my way in this great big toxic world. So long, toxic chumps!...(READ MORE)

The Bloody Death 5/8/2024 11:34am

Jonathan

I need money...(READ MORE)

Exordium & Terminus 1/21/2024 8:49am

Aelia

I accept the job offered......(READ MORE)

The Imaginary Potato 12/12/2023 8:49pm

Iliketrains.wheee

I like potatoes. Do I potatoes?...(READ MORE)

Government housing 12/4/2023 11:36am

Government housing

I take the job HEHEHE...(READ MORE)

404 not found 11/27/2023 2:43pm

huifdjhgbveghy

the crez hqs unfortunqtley been cursed to groz ,ustqches qfter the che,icqls got ,ixed qound: unfortuqnley ,y keyboqrd is still cursed; so nobody cqn reqd this:...(READ MORE)

SS. Simpson 11/13/2023 2:04pm

Dies Vitae

I hired 6 crew members, and the wild rock has eaten them all! Ships, please help! We are stranded at Bubblegum Island, full of deadly bunnies who will stop at nothing to eat you, quicksand/bubblegum, and a giant Bubblegum volcano that is due to erupt any minute now!...(READ MORE)

mondgilde 10/17/2023 11:40am

m00nglad3

...(READ MORE)

the Omega project 8/1/2023 9:54pm

Pinstripe

What is it like to be a pinstripe and lose your stripes? To be a jacket, deconstructed? What lies within, indeed? Mrs. Krause was kind as she clipped away the remnants and tatters of my old life. How did we finally locate The Great Dry Cleaners? How did we even make it from @smiley's warehouse to this fortunate ship? It's all a blur of traveling jacket hibernation and trans-pattern drift, aided perhaps by the consciousness expanding powers of nano-flavonids. If only @Houndstooth were here...(READ MORE)

spes 6/7/2023 3:07am

fugemo

?...(READ MORE)

Zephyrus 5/27/2023 11:12am

June

Hi, I have two people available to get these gears for you. Would that be enough? Precautions are a good thing to take....(READ MORE)

USA 4/14/2023 10:24am

NoOne

I picked up the specified object and dropped it off at the following location: 46°14′06″N 06°02′42″E, 2010...(READ MORE)

smiley's warehouse 2/12/2023 10:10pm

Herrringbone

At @Seersucker's request, I went in search of a janitorial station, looking for stain remover. After having no luck in a certain broom and mop closet I noticed one of the ceiling tiles ajar and decided to poke my (borrowed) head in to take a look. Naturally it was quite dark and I couldn't see anything but hints of a framework of metal supports, extending into the darkness like a wild jungle gym at night. But the breeze was fresh and there was a sense of space and openness, and I began to climb....(READ MORE)

SS.youhaveashrimpy 2/6/2023 2:37pm

rae

russia...(READ MORE)

Trade Federation 1/30/2023 9:18am

1233asas

yes...(READ MORE)

hindenburg 12/14/2022 10:26am

John doe

We set sail for america!...(READ MORE)

Battle Sub 10/11/2022 11:28am

mystery

day one lets see how this goes...(READ MORE)

-.-. --- .-. .--. --- .-. .- - .. --- -. ... / -.. 8/26/2022 8:40am

hmmm

This is my first job & I screw this up it's 'cause I did NOT get ANY training. Also yea, I accept it....(READ MORE)

Deadman's Last Ride 6/8/2022 6:15pm

Enfer

lost... again... who would have guessed it... we need a job, and one soon... we'll take anything at this point... crew's getting restless and annoyed... this is an... odd... situation......(READ MORE)

The Atlantic Sway 5/15/2022 11:04pm

Dr. Erwin Strand

Subject W114b** Breakthrough Intelligence Sequence Investigation  The aquatic mammal registered as @Northern Right Whale has consistently shown ULTRA MK level mastery of an increasingly sophisticated semiotic result chain and implementations. Graduation to operation Mama Goose has been approved.  The first airship specially scaled for large Earth whales has recently been completed. It is large enough to support a crew of 12 large Earth whales in its aquatic habitat. This “aquarium of...(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai in a tragically Sad America 5/13/2022 1:04pm

MayteeV

’Ello Maytee! I think I moight be able to help ye with the job, provided I shall be provided with coinage. As you can see, me sweet lady ship goes all the wae from the New World to the easter asian islands, and Me just so happens to be stationed about lil ol Koloszvar. The eye contact thengye won’t pose a roblem, as I robbed meself of sight in order to look kool while rocking the double eye patches. Anywaes, If ye wanna contact me, ye shall send a pigeon up in the sky, with a message and...(READ MORE)

S S Rosemary 5/12/2022 9:20am

Captain M Wood

Fellow Transporters! We at the S S Rosemary are officially taking our first job! We will be delivering black holes in canning jars for our client Chyppe Sol. Our port will be Tamkar-7 in Andromeda, which is a bit out of the way, so we understand if no-one wants to meet us there. Despite the assurances of the job posting, we will be spending a day black hole proofing our ship and ourselves, and we should be able to deliver in 2 earth days. SIgning off Capt M Wood...(READ MORE)

Non Sum Qualis Eram 5/1/2022 11:29pm

Asphodel Meadows

Dear Captain, I am leaving this note pinned to the hatch of the Non Sum Qualis Eram in hopes that you and your crew will discover it upon returning from lunch. I find the canteen at this particular aerodrome to be exceptional, as you no doubt discovered if you ordered their speciality -- grilled cheese and tomato soup! Even if you are not a tomato soup fan I believe you will find it utterly irresistible. I frequently come to this particular aerodrome to judge the measure of the various sh...(READ MORE)

Wait what do I put here? 2/26/2022 2:06am

Shelale M.

Im just an amateur, please be nice to me captain TvT...(READ MORE)

Voyager 7/9/2021 4:49pm

max

hi...(READ MORE)

sus 6/16/2021 1:51pm

pink

sus among us best yes beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeep rubux robux robux yes yes ye s yeysss death...(READ MORE)

Golden Stone 3/15/2021 7:26pm

Dirac Fermion

Hey has anybody seen my antiparticle? And let me give you a hint it's not my sister Majorana. Anybody can tell she's her OWN antiparticle. She thinks everything is always about her. She's so high energy. AND maintenance. It's ME who has to worry about my antiparticle showing up at any minute, poofing me out of existence. It's why I stowed away here on the Golden Stone. My antiparticle would NEVER think of looking for me h-----...(READ MORE)

Fart Squad 1/7/2021 5:51pm

StinkyFart

i fart, it stink, ow stinky hlep.,...(READ MORE)

04 12/14/2020 8:54pm

Officer Fresno

Hullo? tap tap tap Anybody home? Sorry I'm late. There was a paperwork mixup down at the station. Anyway, we had a report of some suspicious activity so we're just following up. Anybody? tap tap tap...(READ MORE)

St. Ableberry 11/22/2020 2:30pm

Pantha Abelberry

It's no problem! I can speak draconic, so the dragons will probably understand! I'll get right to it!...(READ MORE)

Battle Bus 11/18/2020 10:53pm

Pomme Contrebandier

C'est ainsi qu'a commencé notre plus belle vie à l'âge de pierre de l'univers 4A. J'ai trouvé que mon partenaire commercial était un homme changé. L'air frais et l'exercice lui ont fait du bien, sans parler du soleil, que sa peau blanche et pâteuse avait rarement ou jamais vue auparavant. Cela, associé au pain surnaturellement nutritif de l'âge de pierre de l'univers 4A, a donné à mon partenaire autrefois paresseux et obséquieux une nouvelle résilience. Maintenant qu'il a part...(READ MORE)

USS Enterprise 11/16/2020 11:04am

Captain Squirrel Esq

Land, ho! And a yo-ho-ho to you, which is just one yo- away form Santa, with all the Jollyness it brings! We are hereby most honoured to undertake this brave venture, and hand over these here Ancient Shortbreads even more Ancient to the recipient, in five years time! It shall certainly add to the value of the vintage. In the meantime, we shall boldly skedaddle, where no man has skedaddled off to before!...(READ MORE)

Gamer 11/3/2020 9:34am

Brap

This job be so fine...(READ MORE)

jdfalf 10/26/2020 3:33am

ProCluck77

fff...(READ MORE)

The Warrior13 9/30/2020 12:26pm

Luna R. W.

9/30/2020 I'm so happy to take this job I hope nothing blows up like last time!...(READ MORE)

The Mad-lad Potato 8/14/2020 10:52pm

Roberto Shelton, Jr.

Reality Generation Newsletter -- August Edition Thanks to @Captain Alea Downton and her top-notch crew of singing lasses of the air, reality generation devices were successfully deployed in the Faulkton, Henderson, Wuppertal, Miyazaki, Lyubertsy, Aastaurmond, Chauxhall, and Pastoria City areas. This created the the additional "ooomph" necessary to straighten out the kinks in the Great Trunk, and should keep things running smoothly in this generated reality for some time to come (or...(READ MORE)

Skyside 4/21/2020 3:26pm

Sarika

ill take the job, but only if you kill them too...(READ MORE)

Dragon's Tooth 12/22/2019 11:11pm

Clammy Hamsphere

I've been having trouble convincing my brothers three to get together to watch the new Mermaid Imperium. Back during the hard times, that show really brought us together. But now that we're all rich as kings it's like we've lost what's really important between us. We might all have housekeepers and AI powered bidets, but we've traded it for our humanity. I'm having trouble finding that station again anyway. Can't remember which of the 7,218,198 channels it was. It was some kind of public acc...(READ MORE)

The Rapture 12/1/2019 10:43am

that_name_isnt_taken

The Rapture left the continent of North America from Patrick’s AFB from Brevard County, Florida, USA, on Sunday, December 1st, 2019 at 1:27 PM EST. At 1:30 PM, several miles off shore, The Rapture activated an experimental device created by Terrazian Futuristics, called “THE WORLD,” causing Earth to appear to slow to almost a complete stop. In reality, The Rapture is going at extreme speeds. The Rapture exited “THE WORLD” at 1:32 PM EST off the coast of Guinea. The airship continued...(READ MORE)

Conquest 10/23/2018 11:57pm

Cara

Might be something with the transmission, but somethings going wrong. I don't think anything is getting through. If it is, I really need that job done, but it isn't showing up. I don't think the managers know that I'm kinda stuck. well, help if you can....(READ MORE)

Atlas 10/11/2018 11:39pm

Alex Marleybone

The Resurfacing has been accomplished with hardly a dent to the army. The Desert Arachni were admittedly reluctant to face defeat, and some good men had been lost to the gracious cause. Their deaths were not in vain, however. The breach into the ancient surface had been successful, despite the sacrifice of some beautiful ruins. When witnessing such destruction had reminded me of the previous memories of attending expeditions with my old crew mates, and how we planned months to reach here. Since...(READ MORE)

Ventura 7/23/2018 8:47pm

Olivia Diaz

It's so satisfying to have one's theories proven true. If only there was some way to share it with the people back home! And by home, of course, I mean Earth. We were prepared for this, and had been transmitting data back to HQ up till the very last minute. No doubt the last of it got a bit garbled in some interesting ways, but hopefully they'll find something useful in it. But the fact remains that our theories about the Brane were correct--that by reuniting it with its entangled partn...(READ MORE)

The Savage 5/31/2018 3:20pm

captain ryan

My ship is a savage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...(READ MORE)

The Knight Snug 4/29/2018 5:26pm

Facewoods

Yo...(READ MORE)

The Holy Bibbizle 4/29/2018 2:32am

Grape Man Jones

God bless The Holy Bibbizle...(READ MORE)

Coney Island Baby 2/5/2018 8:10pm

Lou Grass

Welcome Aboard!...(READ MORE)

Claudette 2/3/2018 11:18pm

Melinda Artaud

Silver Springs Capital Management was thrilled to have our oversupply of R's, S's, and T's removed from circulation from Orbis Eruditi, but our books show that we still owe the Claudette for the removal. Our attempts at remittance to your Accounts Receivable have gone unanswered. Is there another way we should be paying you? We have 75 capital vowels of various denominations still awaiting your acceptance on our docks, and are ready to send them to any accredited grapheme logography of your choo...(READ MORE)

Viola Ventura 1/30/2018 1:28pm

Little Bo Johnson

Here at Viola Ventura we're capable of removing any kind of wreckage from any kind of place. Our ship is currently being refueled for the trip. We will arrive in 20 to 30 hours....(READ MORE)

USS Bizzle 1/25/2018 8:54am

Ronald Baldwin

Bizzle is here to run ish...(READ MORE)

Alis Gloriae 1/25/2018 4:53am

Veedle

Captain's Log: 1/25/18 Currently on our way to Oslo to receive repairs. All cargo-workers involved in the sandwich incident have been sacked. Have sent an official apology out. Veedle...(READ MORE)

Shining Machine 1/24/2018 8:18pm

Ricky VII

- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .-.. .--. / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- / .-. . .- ... --- -. / - --- / ..-. .-.. -.-- / ..-. --- .-. . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / --- .... / ... - --- .--. / - .... . / -- --- ..- -. - .- .. -. ... / .- .-. . / .--- ..- ... - / ... --- / ...- . .-. -.-- /...(READ MORE)

The Chiron 1/22/2018 5:41am

Wind Ghosts

22/01 - Delivery successful, no major incidents to report. Cargo has been taken off ship by handlers. On our way back to home base...(READ MORE)

Nemesis 1/20/2018 2:47pm

Trix

This cat is wanted dead or alive, so that's how I'll deliver it!...(READ MORE)

Steel Aurora 1/19/2018 10:34am

Tate

the north koreans are getting a little upsetti at the lack of confetti i would have gotten the fuel by now but im duct taped to the bow........(READ MORE)

Night Pigeon 1/15/2018 5:09am

Dvorak Iahdl

Just accepted a job so I guess I’m taking flight....(READ MORE)

The Flying Captain 1/14/2018 6:23am

AyeAyeCaptain

Free confetti...(READ MORE)

Solstice 1/12/2018 12:38am

smollbeanboii

Finally loaded and leaving Thailand. The Solstice will be headed to New York where we have the most peculiar drop off instructions. Under any dumpster. What on earth could the buyer be doing that he has the free time to check under every dumpster in New York City. But who am I to argue?...(READ MORE)

Der Puce Wal 1/11/2018 3:10am

DeMarcus J. Tyree II

Der Puce Wal ist betriebsbereit und bessere Tage liegen vor uns! Capt. D.J Tyree II is ready and willing to transport any and all gadgets, thingamajigs, doodads, whatsits, and gizmos no matter how dangerous or bizarrely worded. However, under NO circumstance will the honorable captain be liable to transport gubbins or ROUS....(READ MORE)