Minecraft is the best 5/24/2020 9:55pm

Clive Gimlet

Reality generators? Did somebody say reality generators? Well that brings me back let me tell you. I was the number one producer for four years running in the the Northern Presence, Sector B Subcluster. I moved so many reality generators I couldn’t remember which world I was really from. A wife here, a girlfriend there, putting a kid through college there. I squirreled enough money away through offshore accounts — and I mean VERY offshore if you know what I mean — to have a comfortable ret...(READ MORE)

Microwave Explosion 5/22/2020 11:47pm

Presto LaRue

Me and da boys arrive and we find dis mess. Who's ever seen such a mess? Broken glass, broken wood, broken ornamental casing and lacquer all over the place? It's a cryin' shame, I tell ya. And it's gonna be a real cryin' shame for whoever done dis. Ya see, we got a hot tip we was gonna find da Chinese Lightning Box here, but turns out somebody's busted it up. Busted up one of the most powerful eldritch tools ever to be manufactured by House of Foo, Inc. And dat stuff ain't easy to come by a...(READ MORE)

Golden Stone 5/20/2020 10:06pm

Doctor Smalls

It's important that our passengers maintain their golden glow. People ask how I do it and I tell them "It's not magic, it's SCIENCE!" You've got to know how to keep all those protons, electrons, and neutrons in balance! There are lots of them, you know, in gold. Globs and globs of them. It's hard to keep them straight! I keep an eye on common oxidation states, smoothing out the wrinkles where I can. But here's a little secret for our rolled gold listeners, it's not just temperature,...(READ MORE)

WonderFly9000 5/18/2020 10:55pm

HRH Chons

Yes, @Mafdet! It is my mother the Great Wild Cow, long of plumes, bright of head-cloth, pendulous of breasts, who has lifted me up to the sky in this mighty airship, not having left me on Earth, among the gods who have power. Let us pull up to her, peaceful in her milky way, that thou, my loyal crew, shall drink your fill before moving on....(READ MORE)

The Flying Comrade 5/16/2020 10:11pm

Ben Tater

"Is this, uh... what we expected?" Handsome Becky asks. Stage three, the smash and grab, seems to have taken a turn. FREEZEFREEDOMMAGNETNUMBERTHREEZHWOOOOOOOMMMMMM A shard of pure information slices past us. It's the size of a semi truck but in only two dimensions. And it's one of the small ones. All around us, as far as our infinite-seeing eyes can see, it's a cathedral of crystal. More like a canyon, really. There isn't exactly "color" here, but it somehow pres...(READ MORE)

Albion 5/14/2020 11:57pm

Magnus Arquebus

It was with only limited regret that we bade goodbye to the Merlesee. While such wandering holy men are considered good luck to have on board in these lands, and he did very likely save the ship and all of our lives from the creature in the cargo hold, there was a general unease he created with the crew, what with his penchant for standing in one particular place for days on end, emitting long plaintive howls, and of course his very musky smell. The break up was, at least, mutual, as he made...(READ MORE)

The Useless Precaution 5/12/2020 8:02pm

Count Almaviva

Il sapore che mi restava in bocca non era delizioso. Corsi dalla grotta del mastro fornaio, tenendo ancora il mattarello con cui l'ho colpito. La mia vita è stata una bugia! Tale tempo trascorso a studiare l'arte cava, ha portato a non credere all'unico vero segreto che è stato infornato nella mia vita: il segreto del biscotto che non lascia briciole. E poi imparare che non solo il maestro mi stava nascondendo il segreto, ma che è disponibile già pronto da un negozio, in un involucro di plas...(READ MORE)

The Sadie Hawkins 5/10/2020 9:20pm

Armando Lupiz

And it comes down to the moment. @Billy Nails and the kid take up their places at the Rainbow Zone. They were chosen because they came closest to @Starry Skye's description of the "star tramps," and she's dressed them appropriately, Chillingly, the clothes where exactly what the Sadie Hawkins had on hand. She's also been working on choreographing their fight. The skies are even more purple and green than usual, here at SN1987A in the Tarantula Nebula. Maybe I'm just more nostal...(READ MORE)

Thot Slayer 5/8/2020 9:30pm


The crew has taken to our garbage duty better than expected. Er, well, better than they would have before they lost their minds and became stumbling, drooling automatons. As it is, they can follow directions for a short time but you've got to keep redirecting them when they forget what they were doing. So, we pull up the Thot Slayer to a street corner, I park it and open up the hold and start pointing them to the cans and dumpsters, then back up into the hold where they dump them out, then r...(READ MORE)

Berrysoul 5/6/2020 9:25pm

Jack Moonfang

Owwwwwoooooooooooooo! Our Belladonna shipment is overdue. Is there a tracking number? Did it get lost in the air? Did you leave it at the entry to the Underground Forest of Secrets and it was stolen? How do I report non-delivery?...(READ MORE)

Araceli 5/4/2020 7:41pm

Jimmy Three-hands

As the Araceli rose higher and higher, I could see the many lands rising up all around me, like one great big frog eye. I could see Bakemono Road, but it was too soon to return to that trickster path. I could see the Land of Nuts, and the Wide Open Sea. I could see the ancient ruins that are the home of Miraculous Mummy. I could see the battlegrounds of the Phantom Platoon. I could see the forest of Dryad Deluxe; the family estate of Lance, Lord of Mystery (featured in the Forever Cabal...(READ MORE)

The Mephitis 5/2/2020 12:45pm

Captain Pirate II

Ah, the Calafia Coast. Such luxury, on account of the magical resonance emanating from the crystal formations that underly the region. You can smell it in the air. It fills all living things with a healthy glow, encouraging MPP (Maximum Potential Presence) for flora and fauna alike. Everyone is full of it, but they're not smug. They're happy to share, and you can't help but get filled up on the energizing rays yourself. "Hot tub party!" "See you at the beach!" "...(READ MORE)

Eyes Without A Face 4/30/2020 11:46pm

Aeon Lore

It began with a small note. "The Captain sends his regards," on a small piece of paper, folded, delivered on a silver platter by one of the water-bagged waitstaff in the dining room. While it was the code of the Planet of the Many-colored Grass to never reveal ourselves, it did not deny contact with your people. Indeed, our entire foray into luxury travel was based on serving your needs, and how can this be done without communication? Of a sort. I convinced the crew that we shoul...(READ MORE)

Egregore 4/28/2020 10:29pm

Rose Nomenclature

The automatic mannequin was not alone. Coming in and out of the shabby store fronts, milling around the tinkers' wares filling the sidewalks, there were more. Some were the size of children, others full grown, still others hunched. They wore the clothes you see in other parts of town, but sometimes other, more colorful, androgynous robes and gowns. "Wwwwwouldyyyyyyyyyyoucarrrrretocommmmmewwwwwithmeeeeeee?" my automatic mannequin whirred. He stood there a moment and cocked his h...(READ MORE)

Moonbeam 4/26/2020 9:43pm

Harry Otter

The appearance of the Moonbeam at this busy bronze-age port caused less attention than you might think. Many of the ships are far more beautiful to look at than the Moonbeam. Not that the Moonbeam isn't a handsome ship, but these boats can be ornate, with so much color, dyed sails, and multiple tier construction--spiny with oars and rigging. A few of them look like they could take off flying on their own. But the lack of interest seems like it's something more. Like they've seen the same kind...(READ MORE)

ol' big balloon 4/24/2020 12:11am


God damn its time to fly....(READ MORE)

Matte Kudasai 4/23/2020 10:18pm

Billy Sabab

".... composed largely of non-dissolubable quartizinibubble. These mighty karsts were thrust up though the surface via a still not-fully understood process, and have been continually inhabited since the dawn of recorded history, with a wide range of cultures being born, growing, dying, and being reborn once again as the living cultural fabric of these immense stone structures, extending farther than the eye can see, up, up, up into the atmosphere..." "Who said that?" I whi...(READ MORE)

Skyside 4/21/2020 3:26pm


ill take the job, but only if you kill them too...(READ MORE)

Battle Bus 4/20/2020 10:14pm

Fritz Camembert

And that's how you buy a ticket to the museum of the Stone Age of Universe 4A. It's well known that the clerks at the information desk in the Central Museum Registry of Destiny City a corrupt. Their endless questions and misdirections are just a front to bounce users the underground money making side of he racket. My guide is likely splitting his fee with the clerk. Such a clean and repeatable system. Much more dependable than the life of a dealer in collectible airship trading cards, with...(READ MORE)

Spatuloso 4/18/2020 2:55pm

Soap Lotus

It doesn't do any good asking these bluefin boys from the Confusion where we're going, or why. "Hey there, big guy. Where're we headed? This isn't the direction I'd spoken about with your, uh... Customer Success Manager." Nothing but a silent hum from the lead blue blimp. It's a desert. Nothing but miles and miles of scrub brush and rocky plateaus. I hired the Confusion to help me acquire new markets, for which, by definition, I need markets! With people in them! Functioning e...(READ MORE)

Dragon's Tooth 12/22/2019 11:11pm

Clammy Hamsphere

I've been having trouble convincing my brothers three to get together to watch the new Mermaid Imperium. Back during the hard times, that show really brought us together. But now that we're all rich as kings it's like we've lost what's really important between us. We might all have housekeepers and AI powered bidets, but we've traded it for our humanity. I'm having trouble finding that station again anyway. Can't remember which of the 7,218,198 channels it was. It was some kind of public acc...(READ MORE)

The Rapture 12/1/2019 10:43am


The Rapture left the continent of North America from Patrick’s AFB from Brevard County, Florida, USA, on Sunday, December 1st, 2019 at 1:27 PM EST. At 1:30 PM, several miles off shore, The Rapture activated an experimental device created by Terrazian Futuristics, called “THE WORLD,” causing Earth to appear to slow to almost a complete stop. In reality, The Rapture is going at extreme speeds. The Rapture exited “THE WORLD” at 1:32 PM EST off the coast of Guinea. The airship continued...(READ MORE)

Conquest 10/23/2018 11:57pm


Might be something with the transmission, but somethings going wrong. I don't think anything is getting through. If it is, I really need that job done, but it isn't showing up. I don't think the managers know that I'm kinda stuck. well, help if you can....(READ MORE)

Atlas 10/11/2018 11:39pm

Alex Marleybone

The Resurfacing has been accomplished with hardly a dent to the army. The Desert Arachni were admittedly reluctant to face defeat, and some good men had been lost to the gracious cause. Their deaths were not in vain, however. The breach into the ancient surface had been successful, despite the sacrifice of some beautiful ruins. When witnessing such destruction had reminded me of the previous memories of attending expeditions with my old crew mates, and how we planned months to reach here. Since...(READ MORE)

Ventura 7/23/2018 8:47pm

Olivia Diaz

It's so satisfying to have one's theories proven true. If only there was some way to share it with the people back home! And by home, of course, I mean Earth. We were prepared for this, and had been transmitting data back to HQ up till the very last minute. No doubt the last of it got a bit garbled in some interesting ways, but hopefully they'll find something useful in it. But the fact remains that our theories about the Brane were correct--that by reuniting it with its entangled partn...(READ MORE)

The Savage 5/31/2018 3:20pm

captain ryan

My ship is a savage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...(READ MORE)

The Knight Snug 4/29/2018 5:26pm



The Holy Bibbizle 4/29/2018 2:32am

Grape Man Jones

God bless The Holy Bibbizle...(READ MORE)

Coney Island Baby 2/5/2018 8:10pm

Lou Grass

Welcome Aboard!...(READ MORE)

Claudette 2/3/2018 11:18pm

Melinda Artaud

Silver Springs Capital Management was thrilled to have our oversupply of R's, S's, and T's removed from circulation from Orbis Eruditi, but our books show that we still owe the Claudette for the removal. Our attempts at remittance to your Accounts Receivable have gone unanswered. Is there another way we should be paying you? We have 75 capital vowels of various denominations still awaiting your acceptance on our docks, and are ready to send them to any accredited grapheme logography of your choo...(READ MORE)

Invictus 2/2/2018 11:08pm

Nathan Hill

To the Crew of the Invictus: the Labour of the Squirrels remains in the clearing southwest of the Seat of the Squirrels, capitol of the Squirrel Kingdom. We were under the impression that you were removing them from the clearing and transporting them to the Animal Arts & Crafts Faire in Wilderbrook. Did we misunderstand? Should we engage the services of a different owner-operated franchisee member of Zephyr Air Transport to contract this work to? A side benefit, however, to this delay in...(READ MORE)

Viola Ventura 1/30/2018 1:28pm

Little Bo Johnson

Here at Viola Ventura we're capable of removing any kind of wreckage from any kind of place. Our ship is currently being refueled for the trip. We will arrive in 20 to 30 hours....(READ MORE)

USS Bizzle 1/25/2018 8:54am

Ronald Baldwin

Bizzle is here to run ish...(READ MORE)

Alis Gloriae 1/25/2018 4:53am


Captain's Log: 1/25/18 Currently on our way to Oslo to receive repairs. All cargo-workers involved in the sandwich incident have been sacked. Have sent an official apology out. Veedle...(READ MORE)

Shining Machine 1/24/2018 8:18pm

Ricky VII

- .... .- -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .-.. .--. / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- / .-. . .- ... --- -. / - --- / ..-. .-.. -.-- / ..-. --- .-. . ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / ... .. .-.. .-.. -.-- / .-. --- -... --- - / ..-. .- -.-. . / ... - --- .--. / --- .... / ... - --- .--. / - .... . / -- --- ..- -. - .- .. -. ... / .- .-. . / .--- ..- ... - / ... --- / ...- . .-. -.-- /...(READ MORE)

Voyager 1/23/2018 8:01pm

Captain Annie

After a few long years of training, I finally have the skills to be captain of my mother's airship. I accept this as my first job as captain of the Voyager!...(READ MORE)

The Chiron 1/22/2018 5:41am

Wind Ghosts

22/01 - Delivery successful, no major incidents to report. Cargo has been taken off ship by handlers. On our way back to home base...(READ MORE)

Nemesis 1/20/2018 2:47pm


This cat is wanted dead or alive, so that's how I'll deliver it!...(READ MORE)

Steel Aurora 1/19/2018 10:34am


the north koreans are getting a little upsetti at the lack of confetti i would have gotten the fuel by now but im duct taped to the bow........(READ MORE)

Night Pigeon 1/15/2018 5:09am

Dvorak Iahdl

Just accepted a job so I guess I’m taking flight....(READ MORE)

The Flying Captain 1/14/2018 6:23am


Free confetti...(READ MORE)

Solstice 1/12/2018 12:38am


Finally loaded and leaving Thailand. The Solstice will be headed to New York where we have the most peculiar drop off instructions. Under any dumpster. What on earth could the buyer be doing that he has the free time to check under every dumpster in New York City. But who am I to argue?...(READ MORE)

Der Puce Wal 1/11/2018 3:10am

DeMarcus J. Tyree II

Der Puce Wal ist betriebsbereit und bessere Tage liegen vor uns! Capt. D.J Tyree II is ready and willing to transport any and all gadgets, thingamajigs, doodads, whatsits, and gizmos no matter how dangerous or bizarrely worded. However, under NO circumstance will the honorable captain be liable to transport gubbins or ROUS....(READ MORE)