SHIP'S LOG:

Viola Ventura

Little Bo Johnson 1/30/2018 1:28pm

Here at Viola Ventura we're capable of removing any kind of wreckage from any kind of place. Our ship is currently being refueled for the trip. We will arrive in 20 to 30 hours.

Razor Blackside - 1/29/2018 7:45pm

Job claimed by Little Bo Johnson 2018-01-30 13:28:25

SINKING SHIPWRECK SALVAGE

You probably heard about the big smash-up on Sea Lane I-54. A cargo ship flipped and strew containers, resulting in a 16-ship pile-up of tankers, freighters, ferries, and sloops. Most of them are abandoned now and slowly being eaten by the waves and starfish and kraken and ghosts.

It's your job to remove as much of the wreckage as you can in three days, using torches to dismantle the hulks and lifting the sections away with your sky hook, and landing the individual pieces on our company's barges--Razor Blackside's Sinking Shipwreck Salvage Co.

Our barges are parked at the edges of the massive, rusting graveyard. Your pay will be based on your efficiency, lack of accidents, quality of food served to crew, and general pizazz over the length of the three day contract.

Let the best ship win!

Jeennie Mongolian 1/29/2018 10:30am

If you aw my earlier post and wonder why the Russians are after me, then here is the story. In 1987, I was to be married to Lord Bupkis. He is a notorious she-devil who takes women and they are never seen again. i was sold off to pay my gambling father's debt. I obviously disagreed. My father cannot be found now along with the Lord. The Russians are after me because i kicked off their Lord.

Jeennie Mongolian 1/29/2018 10:26am

*in a pissed off Australian accent*
I recently competed the Shape Something-Or-Other job. The shapes were very pointy and poked me everywhere. (especially in the lower regions) The Russian Commie almost got me since I have beenn on the run for them. I almost died.

Shapes R Us - 1/24/2018 8:08pm

Job claimed by Jeennie Mongolian 2018-01-29 10:26:03

Due to recent changes in the Shapes market, Shapes R Us is shutting down for good. We've had a great run these last 49 years, but it's time to let go of the old ways and let these digital Shape outfits have their day in the sun.

As a result, our main warehouse in Geon has a massive inventory of never used Shapes that have to go! We have an enormous number of shapes, including regular polygons, irregular polygons, and circular arc-based shapes. The majority of the most popular shapes (squares, rectangles, triangles, circles and the like) have already been picked over at our massive Going out of Business sale, but we've found a home for everything that's left (including various lemniscates, indalos, taijitu, and magatamas) on the far reaches of the boundary lands, in Isotopyville.

These shapes pack flat, and a big enough ship might be able to fit them all. Please drop by our warehouse in Geon and make us an offer!

Little Bo Johnson 1/15/2018 2:09pm

At Viola Ventura we claim to be the best place for good boys, whichever their actual genetic composition may be. We are more than willing and able to take you canine companions for a spin if you assure us that they're good boys. Are they good boys?

Who's a good boy?

Little Bo Johnson 1/15/2018 2:06pm

Hello there, fellow crew mates. This is Little Bo Johnson, reporting for duty.

Empress Diamond - 1/15/2018 12:35am

Job claimed by Little Bo Johnson 2018-01-15 14:09:42

I was recently speaking to a soothsayer and ignoring everything, because let's be honest, soothsayers don't know what they are talking about, when she told me this, "You have a cousin, a cousin that wants you dead. You should flee, as soon possible."

And this was certainly not vague enough for the style of soothsayers, so I looked into soothsayers past and found out he was employed my dear cousin, Valentine. Valentine has always been jealous of me and my empire. I soon found out she had a coup d'état planned and she was trying to get me off the planet to make it easier.

Now I was thoroughly annoyed at this and sent a letter to Valentine, alerting her that I knew about the coup. She replied by sending an army my direction.

While I can deal with this annoying little army quite easily, I would like my dogs to be shipped off to a random planet with proper doggy daycare. They simply cannot deal with the stresses of handling international war and unfortunately, they are very finicky animals.

The first is May, a Paint Berduggle,( a mix between a puggle,(a mix of a beagle and a pug), and a Saint Berdoodle,(a mix between Standard poodle and a Saint Bernard)), who needs to be fed a gourmet meals every two hours. The second is Lindsay, a semi aquatic egg laying dog who like action adventure movies and the anime classic, Corey in the House. He must have these shows played on repeat on a 73.33 inch flat screen at all times.

And lastly, the easiest to transport, Benny.

Benny is a mix between a komodo dragon, three chihuahuas, an actual dragon and two very large and very good golden retrievers. She has the ability to create time warps and inter-dimensional rips and must be walked every morning.

If anyone has the ability to take on this difficult job, they will be rewarded highly. I will award whomever completes this job with not only monetary compensation, but a large chunk of my empire.

Thank you
Empress Diamond of The Windy Planet

Viola Snow 1/10/2018 10:40am

Dear customer,
Thank you for trusting us with this very important biblical job. Your family's bible will be given to the Russian Mafia immediately (Per not your request. We just feel it is the best, and safest, option.) Thank you for your business.
Viola

Viola Snow 1/10/2018 10:36am

*In a soft, British accent*

We have accepted and completed our first customer's order to spray gluten-free spray on pests. The anomalies were taking over this old abandoned house! I cannot believe this is turning into common thing to hear of around the word! Mother would be disgusted with this.
Viola