SHIP'S LOG:

The Hartlepool

General Screech 3/6/2024 10:08pm

To me, my Cybernetic War Monkeys!

Tonight it is this 7-11. Tomorrow morning: the self serve car wash. And by nightfall, the U-haul self storage lot!

But now, you wire-headed primates, it is time to indulge in the plunder of our new empire -- a truckload of Banana Choco Pies!

Skreeeeeeeeeeek!

Guy Reese 11/7/2023 10:01pm

Guy Reese -- Cybernetic War Monkey Wrangler

I charge 3500 a day and no questions asked. How I wrangle the war monkeys is nobody's business. I'm just here to get the job done.

You better scoot on out of here and find some place safe.

And no videos or photography allowed.

Macaque_fya 8/5/2023 11:12pm

Look at those lil cyborgs go!!! the purple LEDs really look great in a firefight, but you've gotta figure it makes them easy to target. amirite? but if nobody's got snipers then...

YES! they brought down all the glass YES ALL THE GLASS on the front of the 7-11. BOOYA!! Short burst of concentrated fire at the bottom of each panel. Totally pro. Now look at them going in after those snacks.

Gray Jenni Fields 4/24/2023 11:17pm

I see those people out behind the Wallmart, making their cybernetic war monkey deals. I've had enough! I'm going to take videos of them trafficking in cybernetic war monkeys and put it all over social media. If the police won't take a stand against illegal cybernetic war monkey trade then I'll just take things into my own hands.

Iris S Sanchez 1/11/2023 7:35am

Upon arriving at Angaur I was greeted by their head engineer. He led me through their training facilities and construction yards. Thankfully the shipment of Cybernetic War Monkeys was successfully delivered to 6.90883184 - 134.1415. Upon dropping off the shipment behind the Walmart, the client successfully claimed their package, where I watched them happily beam at their abundant amount of cybernetic war monkeys.

Sarah Greenwell - 1/4/2023 10:59pm

Job claimed by Iris S Sanchez 2023-01-11 07:35:18

Hello

I was looking at what exactly you picked up before and you seem like the right people for this. I need a shipment of 51 cybernetic war monkeys from Angaur. Rough coordinates are 6.90883184 and 134.1415. I'll pick them up behind the Walmart off the highway at 2:13am behind the second dumpster. They're really special to me and won't be used for any known militant activity, just for lawn decorations.