Billy Nails

earliest post first | most recent post first

The Sadie Hawkins
6/30/2023 11:55pm



See kid I told you you might get to appreciate the simple life. Oh no need to blush, ol' Billy knows all about it. And there ain't one member of this crew who hasn't had a little taste of it themselves. I mean farm life, of course. Sky Sailors are the first to decry the life on the ground, and the more you've got our boots in the mud and the manure than the more we're likely to heap on the insults. But I think it's fair to say all that spit and vinegar was just a mask--a mask to hide away a burning desire, deep inside...

Don't get me wrong, kid. When the captain and @Starry Skye find their way back--and I know they will--they'll be needin' our help and boy are we gonna give it to them. But after that debt's repaid, well, it's never to late for a Sky Sailor to turn up a new leaf...






The Sadie Hawkins
9/15/2022 11:34pm



I'm glad to see you settlin' into life here, kid. You've got yourself your own hovel, keepin' it swept, putting in a full day's work at the Langpa ranch and goin' to the dances on Friday nights. I'm sure you've seen how ol' Billy Nails has come across his own bit of treasure, in the form of Ms. Amalasuintha. I'll tell ya' kid, ol' Billy Nails never pictured he could get used to life on solid earth, but I suppose that's because I'd never met anyone like Ms. Amalasuintha. She's been around the block -- much like yours truly -- but we both seem to be at a place where keeping the garden kept and cleaning out the Frinlic Coop makes for a full life. Especially when you've got a peach as cute as Ms. Amalasuintha to share your meals with. Now you know I'll keep The Sadie Hawkins ship-shape in the barn till we hear from the captain and @Starry Skye, but till then, I think we all ought to appreciate a little down time.






The Sadie Hawkins
1/30/2022 2:22pm



You've been a real trooper, kid. A credit to all Sky Sailors, even when we've got to get our hands dirty slinging Langpa poop for a grumpy Langpa rancher. But at least we found a place to keep the Sadie Hawkins safe while the captain and Starry Skye try and get us out of this time knot. I know the crew is gettin' grumpy holed up here on this stinky ranch -- goes against every grain in their nature, toiling on the earth like this. Exactly the kind of life they were looking to avoid when they took to the sky. So it means a lot to ol' @Billy Nails that you're setting a good example and keepin' morale up. Now it's just a question of how long we gots to wait -- or how long the crew'll keep from mutiny. We'll just keep that radio on and wait for come kinda word...






The Sadie Hawkins
8/30/2021 11:40pm



So if it ain't one thing then it's another, kid. With both the captain and Starry Skye missing, now the port master says The Sadie Hawkins has to give up her berth, and there isn't another space in all of Uranographia Fields on account of the Aquids Convention. I just knowed we should have booked more days in advance, but the last time we were in town we'd left before those soggy sea dwellers ever showed up so who knew? Already they're slappin' their paddles on the boardwalk in their fishbowl helmets and gigantic eyes. So now I got to take The Sadie Hawkins out of dock and make room for more Aquids and just loiter around in some kind of holding pattern till the sky police get wise and then what, eh kid? This thing's falling apart faster than a piece of texas toast at the milk bar, and @Billy Nails doesn't like it one bit.






The Sadie Hawkins
4/17/2021 11:56pm



I know it's not right to speak disparagingly of the captain, kid, but he's left us in a lurch and no mistake! Going into a future fashion house with no backup and then gettin' hisself kidnapped, or eaten up, or otherwise disappeared. Me and some of the more surly sailors turned that whole block looking for him and he wasn't nowheres to be found. And he left ol' Starry to head off on her own into to even rougher parts of town and now we've lost her too! And who's left holding the fort here on the Sadie Hawkins? Naturally yours truly @Billy Nails! But I won't be for long if this crew gets any more temperamental, what with being thrown back in time, splittin' the timeline, and losing the cocoon of the cutest plasma moth this side of the Uranographia Fields! We ain't never been leaderless and I'm telling you the truth when I say ol' @Billy Nails just ain't cut out for it. No I ain't, not one bit.






The Sadie Hawkins
12/8/2020 9:06pm



Sky sailors weren't cut out to be spies, kid. Ain't in our nature, ain't in our training. Working on a ship is all about communication, and being clear about what you're doing. It ain't about hiding and getting away with something. So why the captain had us all trying to "blend in" and "keep a low profile" looking for clues in the streets of the fashion district of Uranographia Fields made about as much sense as a sunroof on a blimp! It was purely by accident that I happened to be purchasing some of those delicious fried sucker snacks from a street vendor when that rude fella bumped into me and my snack got all over his fine suit. "Here, here, let me get that" I was sayin', wiping him down with my ship's rag, when he slapped me away and called me a name you're not even old enough to learn yet, kid. Then he heaves off an into a door in the alley that says CLOTHES OF TOMORROW and beneath it in little letters it says "fashions of today" and ol'@Billy Nails figured he'd found something, spy or not.






The Sadie Hawkins
7/31/2020 8:33pm



See what did I tell ya, kid? We travel back in time, start messing around, and before you know it we've started a whole new timeline. One we probably shouldn't even exist in! At least not "us" us. The "us" us has already left Uranographia Fields. Our ship has sailed -- without Starry Skye onboard. And what about poor Sparkleshine? That sweet old plasma moth was stolen from right under our noses. Or her egg, or cicada, or whatever you call it. What happens now when it hatches and @Starry Skye's not there to be her mama? Or what if it never hatches? And in the meantime, how is Sparkleshine anyway? Does she even exist? That toothless hag said she had to stay with her back in the Purple Dimension while we went ahead. Not that she would have been much help--a big ol' fire breathing plasma moth like Sparkleshine would attract nothing but the wrong kind of attention at the Uranographia Fields. But what I want to know is if our Sparkleshine even still exists, now that her egg's been stolen. It's enough to make an old airshipman's mind just melt. And his heart. I just hope our @Starry Skye can track her down and steal her back.







The Sadie Hawkins
4/2/2020 10:23pm



Nobody likes a shivery old ninny poop, kid. Least of all ol’@Billy Nails. But I just couldn’t let my trepidations keep to themselves with this tinkerin in time business! Of course the captain did tell us what he was doing, and gave us all a chance to jump ship before we went through the gate. But you know how these things are, a buncha grown airship crew members, all gung ho and oorah oorah, ready for adventure, and whatever might come their way. But I just gotta confide in somebody, kid, and when you start visiting your own tracks in time somethin's bound to go sideways, I tell 'ya. It's been creepy enough, sneakin' round Uranographia, seein' all the news from two years ago, just knowin' there's another us out there, gettin' ready for some well-deserved shore leave. Ain't these people ever heard of the butterfly effect? It's a complex enough system as it is without runnin' haywire inside of it, I'll tell you.






The Sadie Hawkins
12/16/2019 10:11pm



This is the life, ain't it, kid? I'll admit ol' @Billy Nails enjoyed the notion of the C in the C.O.D. mail run, but not when it turned out to be some kind of trap! There wasn't a better moment for that toothless hag to hijack the Sadie Hawkins into this peaceful, purple dimension. Can't quite say I've ever seen gravity work this way, what with the floating islands, inverse rainbows, and the like. Waterfalls seem to fall forever, and the starlight is bright enough to read by. And I'll admit that this old airshipman's eyes teared up watching Sparkleshine meet its kin folk. I've never seen a swarm of giant plasma moths frolic and play in the thermals before, and let me tell you you may not see a sight more tender for quite some time! And the strange folk who inhabit this land are so generous, loading the ship with food and fine goods every time we make a mail stop. These folk value their communications, and it seems their options for delivery are slim in these parts, relying instead on a thin network of clotheslines strung from floating island to floating rock, through which they operate a simple pulley system to take a bucketful of mail one at a time across the chasms. Why haven't these people mastered flight? Makes ol' @Billy Nails want to stop and think for a bit...






The Sadie Hawkins
8/20/2019 10:50pm



Have you started to sense the pattern, kid? Where all these Psyhigh penpal mails are landing? No? Well, you'll get a feel for stellar cartography as you go, but take a look at my wall. Yes, it's ok if you move the curtain, kid. There. You can see I've pinned the location of every address we've dropped one of the Lilx letters off at, and then I connected them with golden yarn. Yes, it is a bit like string art. But that just helps point out how the distribution is *too* regular. Now, a random distribution of penpals would tend to bunch up, in accordance with population density. You'd have some clusters here and there, and a lot of space between them. But here, every node is equidistant from their surrounding nodes, and, because of the yarn, you're able to see they're all at 45 degree angles from each other. And if you extend the yarn? Through the center? Yes? See what I'm talking about? That's right--you can predict where our next bunch of letters is bound to be delivered--right up there in the NW quadrant. And once we connect the last of those dots in real space, it closes the whole ring up like a big tiara.

Somethin's fishy here kid. That's all I'm sayin.






previous 10 >