Lasso Pout

Spatuloso

7/28/2023 11:41pm

@Soap Lotus and I were squeezed in next to each other, moored in the back yard of the mayor of Paradise.

When they heard there were visitors, the citizens figured it was time for a barbecue picnic. They set it up in the mayor's back yard on account of too many trees in the park for Soapy and I to get in close. Soapy's crew might seem pretty "big city" at first glance, but they were happy to pass out cans of beer and pop. Townsfolk set up the card tables and brought a pot luck and paper plates. And @Carolinaeuphrosyne and her people were happy to meet up with some other folks who weren't the same old cowpokes they'd been walking the desert with.

Paradise was a kind of artist's community nestled here at the foot of the mountains. Real nice town, with a store and a school and lots of funky art studios. A hippie kinda town. Far enough away they could lead their own lives in peace, far from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. And they didn't even know about The Confusion. Yet.

Maybe it would pass 'em by?

"Alright people, and blimps!" There was somebody on the porch making an announcement. "We'd like to thank you all for stopping by our fair town. And now allow me to introduce the mayor of Paradise, @Nim Blanksy!"

I looked over at Carolinaeuphrosyne. She'd dropped her beer and was staring open mouthed at the mayor.

Spatuloso

10/13/2022 10:51pm

I have to admit, I was feelin' mighty content. Floating along over the high desert, my brothers at my side, helping good friends on a noble quest. What more could a humble blimp ask for?

After a spell the mountains came into view, and after a little more, a colorful but faded billboard, nestled between the cactus and the rocks. It depicted an idyllic illustrated mountain scene with these words:

COME TO PARADISE!
Peaceful Rest
Free Ice Water
105 miles

I knew we were gettin' low on drinkin' water as I was feelin' a little light.

Much of our party -- my original cowpoke crew and the anthropologists from the future -- were on foot and horseback, moseying along, so I drifted easily. I turned to take a look at @Auto Slops and his dubious cohorts, and that's when I saw the strange graffiti on the back of the billboard:

BLANKSY

That name rang a bell but I couldn't say why. Not at the time. But I do remember thinkin' it looked real artistic. For graffitti, anyway.

Spatuloso

2/22/2022 11:30pm

"Well, golly Ms. Carolinaeuphrosyne, that's quite a tale," I said.

"Will you cool it with the cowboy talk, Lasso?" said @Soap Lotus. "I mean, we've all changed since we left the nest, but it just sounds put on, if you know what I mean."

I didn't know how to respond.

"Well heck, Mister Crime Lord, if you'll excuse a little cultural sensitivity in getting to know my posse. But we've got a certain way of getting things done out here, on the prairie. And what I hear is that Carolinaeuphrosyne needs a bit of help completing her mission."

"Her mission is complete! She made it here! She saw the Confusion! And you narrowly escaped dying. I think she's seen plenty."

Carolinaeuphrosyne had fallen asleep around the fire, exhausted from her tale.

"I distinctly heard something about a 'time capsule.'" I said. "And I aim to get her there."

Spatuloso

11/12/2020 9:31pm

Ol' @Lasso Pout had a good run. Made it out of the nursery and out into the big wild world now didn't I? And here I am to see the last of it, face down in a pile a sage brush, blown apart by my own big brother.

He floats above me, impassive. Watching the last of the gas escape my balloons.

At least that herd of sky rustlers keeps heading away. And good riddance to you! I just hope my ol' cowpoke friends, and my newer time travelling friends, are out of harm's way. And that Carolinaeuphrosyne is safe. That's all this lonesome sorry heap o' blimp parts needs to know to die a happy blimp.

A shadow passes over me. I know my time has come. A long, dark, shadow. And a deep, dark, throbbing beat. Low, and rumbly. It's getting louder. And louder. Banging like 50 inch woofers all along the back.

"Will you turn that down! This is a peaceful prairie!" I cry, likely with my last breath.

Crrrrrkxxx! "You can turn that noise down now, Little Gnarls, Let's pause here awhile."

That voice, a voice from my past, calls out over a loud speaker. So familiar.

"And you just take it easy, little buckaroo."

It was @Soap Louts. The biggest of my big brothers. Blocking out the sun.

Spatuloso

7/11/2020 11:04pm

I could barely recognize my kin from the blimp nursery. But there was no mistakin. How did he grow so big and strong?

"Well howdy, brother! Long time no see!"

@Auto Slops just floated there, starin' at me.

"So, you're hooked up with this bunch a' bandits? Scarin' our cattle? What kinda vandalisn' varmints are they, anyway?"

@Auto Slops was the middle kid. As much as anybody from a patch of blimp eggs growing up in a nest could ever be in the "middle." But he always had a lot to prove. Guess it didn't really surprise me to find he'd joined up with some kind of military organization.

@Auto Slops wasn't looking too well. Bit of damage up near his eyes. And he was lookin' a bit green. And disoriented.

"Aw, you don't look too well, brother. Why don't you let me take you back to see our doc? It's just up ahead aways. You just follow ol' @Lasso Pout and we'll get you all fixed up, ya' hear?"

I start heading back to the camp, and just trust that @Auto Slops is following me home.

Spatuloso

3/11/2020 9:12pm

The big ships came on us out of the sun.

Each one as big as a battleship and came with sharp lines, notched fins, and hot lead.

I kept low to the ground, providing cover for Carolinaeuphrosyne and the other time travelers as we took shelter behind some big rocks, high caliber automatic weapons fire exploding all around us. These rocks weren't going to save us when those zeps came back around to make another strafing run, but it kept me from taking on any holes.

"Hey! Where are the headed?" asked Carolinaeuphrosyne.

And it was true, bless my lucky stars. The squadron of beautiful, gleaming, deadly, zeppelins were heading away from us, towards the herd.

"STAMPEDE!!!" I cried, and shot off towards the rising dust.

Spatuloso

11/17/2019 1:56pm

The time travelin’ bean bandits continue to eat our beans, which is already puttin’ a pinch on our supplies. We’ve given them every chance to leave but it’s obvious they can’t take care of themselves and aren't interested in getting' away. They don’t know cattle, they don’t know how to ride, and they act like they’ve never seen a blimp like me before.

“Yes, we were all born in a nursery. @Auto Slops, @Soap Lotus, all my brother and sister blimps. What? Did you think the stork brought us?”

All they do is ask me pesky questions all day, take notes, make sketches. 

"About this time travelin," I ask. "How exactly do you folks handle that? You got a ship?"

"Oh, nothing like that," says Carolinaeuphrosyne. They don't really have a leader, but she and I end up talking the most. I guess I'm gettin kind sweet on her. Or "them" as she corrects me now and then.

"See my ring?" she says. "We've each got one. It's only good for one trip back. We're to stay here, gather data, and not activate them unless we see this symbol." 

She opens up her sketchbook and shows me a curious insignia.

"It's supposed to be gold, but we don't have any colored pens. It represents something called the Confusion. Have you seen it before?"

I gently swing my yaw from side to side. Carolinaeuphrosyne looks at me blankly.

"That's a no." I say. 

Spatuloso

8/1/2019 10:44pm

Well those bandits weren't anticipating a flying chuckwagon I will tell you that!

The pesky varmints were mighty hungry though. Usually rustlers keep to the shadows, peeling off the herd and absconding in the dark, so it was mighty unusual to have them make a try for a chuckwagon. Turned out they'd been starving--didn't even know how to skin and cook a calf, apparently. They claim to be vegetarians, and it was the beans they were after. This was a discourse that didn't occur till I lifted off and the rest of the cowpokes surrounded them and made them lay down their weapons of course.

After we had 'em roped up and put the guns to their heads and what not, they told us quite a tale. Time travelers, they claim, from a future time, sent here back on an anth-ro-po-logical expedition, to study our history, and find out what became of the blimps.

"What became of the blimps?" I hollered. "What kind of talk is that?"

The bandits looked at each other and claimed they'd said too much, but could they have some more beans please because they hadn't eaten since the storm washed away their rations.

We're quite a ways off till the nearest sheriff, so it looks like we'll be keeping these troublesome folks around for a bit.

Spatuloso

5/4/2019 7:41pm

Despite my best efforts, I have become a bit of a chuckwagon.

Awww, I'm not sore about it. The creek beds are swollen on account of the rain, and while the herd can swim though them alright, it was becoming problematic for the chuckwagon. And it's true I've got a might more room in my saddle bags than the average buckaroo. Not quite enough room to drive the chuckwagon in whole hog, but the cowpokes unloaded her into my cargo bay (such as it is), popped the wheels off the wagon, and fit it all in, snug as a bug in a rug,

It's a lot more weight than I'm used to carrying, but the cowboys gotta stay fed. Especially after slogging through the water and mud all day long.

Spatuloso

3/2/2019 4:18pm

I've left the nest and ready to pursue my dream of a life on the range. After traveling miles and miles over the inland Salty Sea and High Cactus Desert Range, I've hooked up with a pod of sturdy cowpokes who are happy to have my help with the herd.

When they first took a look at me they fancied I'd make a file chuckwagon, but I didn't come to this home on the range to be a glorified flying food truck. No! I came here to rope and drive those doggies like a pro. I buzz the bulls and get em' going where we need 'em, and have already pulled a buckaroo out of a tight spot with my rope ladder!

Big thanks to old Uncle El singing us those cowboy lullabies every night before bed.