SHIP'S LOG:

Berrysoul

Timothy Littles 12/3/2022 11:24pm

"Comrade Littles, 100% of our drivers are reporting, and we have full control of heavy lifters."

"Excellent, Comrade Wee. And the free-rangers?"

"Giants without drivers are following the herd."

"Alright, I want continuous eyes on them. If one steps out, we'll need to activate the nearest drivers to corral them in."

"Yes comrade."

"Inform all drivers to begin to head into the city."

CRRRRICK "Attention all drivers! This is Thumbelina Base. Proceed to Camp Big Boy. Repeat, proceed to Camp Big Boy. Over."

Billy Bantam 9/9/2022 11:54pm

It’s true, I’ve got a soft spot for the big lug.

He’s not evil. He’s actually quite sweet. He’s just a tool for the real authoritarians.

"That's enough there, big lad," I holler down his ear canal. "You can take off that big heavy rope now. Just lift it off and throw it on the ground."

WHUMP

"So don't that make you feel a whole lot better?"

"Huh?"

"I said, don't that make you feel a whole lot better?"

"What you say?"

"I'm just askin':"

WHUMP

"Ok, big guy. That's plenty. Don't knock anything else over. I know it feels good, but we've got it all worked out. You just walk this way."

"Okie dokey, little pet. Walk this way, dum dum dum walk this way, dum dum dum..."

Mr. Ixnorthorb 6/29/2022 10:37pm

Dum dum dum

Walk this way

Dum dum dum

Walk this way

Dum dum dum

Walk this way

"If I could walk that way, I wouldn't be cooped up in some giant's ear!"

... Is that the little human in my ear?

"You win the prize, my friend. Now, if you just listen to me, I'll take you places, big guy. We'll go far!"

Oh goody. I always wanted a pet.

Dum dum dum

Walk this way

Dum dum dum

Walk this way

Tormnob Ixicot 4/1/2022 10:33pm

{what is going on? cut away! immediately! go to a commercial or--}

Well, uh, this behavior is certainly unprecedented, Slimp.

{Slimp looks truly fascinated. Uh oh, he doesn't realize what's happening}

Yes, Tormnob, it's fascinating! I've never see this kind of maneuvering before. Is it a special strategy of some sort?

{Slimp is not paying any attention to my body language. Or he'd know we need to sink this.}

I'm sure it's just a momentary pause on the field. Perhaps a time out. I think it'd be a good time to cut to station identification...

No, Tormnob, I think something is really happening here.

{Yes of course something is "happening here" you idiot. It's the revolution. And it IS being televised!}

Tormnob, it appears a number of the giants on the field have reversed course. But they're still pulling at their tow ropes. Is that a usual behavior?

Well Slimp, in some specific cases in the technical manual, such a maneuver would be called for...

Really Tormnob? I have the manual right here. Is it in the index?

We're going to need to take a break for, uh, technical reasons. Gayle? Can we cut the cameras now?

Gayle?

Cedric Small 1/24/2022 10:53pm

"Order! ORDER!" Bang bang bang goes my gavel.

"Order, you pesky louts! We will follow the rules of the Pilot's Union to settle this matter. Billy Bantam, you have the floor."

"Thank you comrade Small. Ahem. Since before our father's fathers, the Pilot Union has had the ear of the giants. Because we live in 'em!"

The crowd erupts in laughter.

"And we've kept the giants on track, doing the work, whispering words of encouragement and guidance as we can."

"AND PULLING AN EAR HAIR OR TWO, AMIRITE?" cries a heckler.

"But we've forgotten our stature. Our place of leadership! We've let these dumb lugs have all the power -- all the strength!"

The crowd murmurs in appreciation.

"Comrade Littles has a NEW plan. A NEW direction. It's time we put these giants to work for US!"

The crowd murmurs more loudly.

"I say it's time to show these giants who's boss!"

Everyone stands and cheers.

Slimp Bornornix 12/1/2021 10:31pm

And it's another beautiful day out here in Southwest Towfield with mild temperatures and a slight breeze out of the east with barely a cloud in sight as the giants take up their ropes and prepare for the Big Heave. Tormnob, can you describe to the viewers at home what exactly we're seeing here?

Sure Slimp. Here we have those mighty men -- truly giants among us --

That's certainly true, Tormnob

--these GIANTS among men who are the POWERHOUSE of our whole eco-nomblix, the every Orbnib Structure of the whole she-bang!

And how exactly do they do that, Tormnob?

Well, you can see that the miles and miles of fields out there are striped with wide ditches -- long strips of waterways, lined with concrete.

It's all quite "neat" isn't it Tormnob?

You bet it's neat, Slimp! And even neat-er are those gear teeth you'll see poking up just above the surface of each of those waterways, way on the far end. See that, Slimp?

I certainly do, Tormnob.

Well if you look closely, you'll see a sturdy rope tied to a mighty eyelet attached to each tooth.

A might eyelet, dear friends! Attached to each and every tooth.

That's right Slimp. Well, our giants come here each day to pick up that rope and puuuuuuuuuullll that gear tooth one more notch.

Just one more notch, dear friends!

But, as I think you're about to find out, it takes quite a bit of pulling from each and every giant to pull that gear tooth just one more notch.

And, here comes the starting giant. He's looking to his left, he's looking to his right.... it looks like he's just about to give the signal and... they're off!

Mr. Ixnorthorb 10/10/2021 10:32pm

Dum dum dum

I've got a human in my ear

Dum dum dum

Walking down the towpath

Dum dum dum

I got a human in my ear

Dum dum dum

"HEY! IXNORTHORB!"

Oh why is that loudspeaker so loud?

"GRAB A TOW ROPE AND START TOWING!"

Dum dum dum

Got a big tow rope

Dum dum dum

Dum dum dum

Nixnob, Giant Doctor 8/26/2021 10:43pm

Doctor's Log: The patient, a Mr. Ixnorthorb, complained of a persistent itch in his left ear. Upon examination, it was apparent that somehow a tiny human had taken up residence within his ear canal.

No doubt it was warm and cozy, as Mr. Ixnorhorb also had a comfortable build up of wax within the ear. I suggested removing both the wax and the visiting human through traditional moxibustion and began to create the ritual bonfire, but Mr.Ixnorthorb was concerned for the welfare of this little visitor, and now that he knew the cause of his persistent itch (excessive wax buildup+tiny human living in ear) felt the relief of knowing was enough, and would allow the little person to remain for the time being.

Provided the patient with the requisite informative brochure "HUMANS LIVING IN YOUR EAR? WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW" and suggested he visit again if his feelings changed.

Highland Berrysoul 7/13/2021 11:32pm

Grimble Grumble could certainly tell a story! That is, the usual, incomprehensible tale told by the locals. Something about giants and gnomes and spirits who live in the rivers, but he kept mixing up his sizes and the sometimes the giants lived under rocks and the gnomes were big as mountains, and things that happened at the end of the story should have happened at the beginning, and in general things were all jumbled up. I kept dozing off, frankly, but eventually found myself in one of the dark rooms off the endless halls and crawled into a musty bed. Boy was I tried!

Grimble Grumble 5/26/2021 11:29pm

Oh, the Age of Giants. Were we ever giants? By your reckoning? Well of course we were! Because it was your very "reckoning" that defined everything you didn't like and diminished it.

The thing is, "big" and "small" were not so set before you came along. I might be the biggest sprig on this leg of the Island of Brerrysoul today and tiny as a hollyhock weevil tomorrow. Back in those days, anyway.

Size was fluid. Meaning was fluid. We lived for centuries, and millennia! Because time and death and life were fluid.

You and your kind changed all that.

For now at least.

But let me tell you about the time before.