Larry Fantasio

Microwave Explosion

11/6/2020 11:57pm

It had been a long time since I'd set foot in the House of Foo.

Well, a House of Foo franchise, that is. There was no House of Foo HQ, not for a long while. Maybe not ever.

The House of Foo was originally a company based in Shanghai. At least that much is believed. But House of Foo itself was a made up name. They thought it would sell better to the west if it seemed like the kind of made up Chinese name they were used to hearing, and not some boring, real life, hard to pronounce Chinese name.

So from the very beginning, the House of Foo was a shell company. One that manufactured and exported the finest parlor magic apparatus ever made. The Glissering Manacles. The Ashra Wig. Aerial Fishing. The Zig Zag Roller. And it was the finest parlor magic because it was designed by truly brilliant magicians. Ones that had mastered the engineering it takes to truly and literally bend the reality we live inside of. Magicians like Radium Girl, and Aunt Matilda, and the Aztec Lady.

And my mentor, Black Hermione. I hoped she was still where I could find her.

"So, we're still headed west, 'captain.'" I can hear the Queen of the Hudson rolling her eyes even before she turns around. "Care to get any more specific?"

"Omaha," I tell her, leaning back in the chair. "We're headed to Omaha."

Microwave Explosion

8/12/2020 10:27pm

"You are an idiot!" the Queen screams at me. Again.

"Please, please, keep your voice down.The CGA has voice recognition running everywhere near the airfield. They could have the boys from the Magician's Union on us in no time."

The Queen has no response. She knows that would be worse than whatever I have in store for her.

"What DO you have in store for me, Mr. @Larry Fantasio, magic apparatus repairman, and idiot?"

The Queen of the Hudson and I go way back. I've been cleaning her clock for years, repairing broken tricks, buffing her cups and balls.

"I never told you what I did before I came to Poughkeepsie."

"And I never told you what I was going to do with the Chinese Lightning Box. How I was going to save the world, Put it back like it was."

"Well, about that. Actually, I did know what you were going to do. And I saw what happened when you did. And trust me, it wasn't like it was."

"What are you talking about?"

"I got my Magical Apparatus Repairman Certification at House of Foo."

"That's a lie. They don't exist any more. They've been out of business for a hundred years."

"They just went underground. Things were getting too hot. And they were developing tricks too dangerous for anyone to ever own. Like the Specularii Psychomanteum."

"Some kind of mirror, I assume? A beam-splitter?"

"Exactly. And it tells the future. Or, futures, plural, actually."

"And it told you...?"

"I'll explain later. Right now we need to steal this airship."

And there, floating above us, nose connected to its mooring mast, was the Microwave Explosion.

Microwave Explosion

3/8/2020 10:41pm

Beyond the reed-covered lodge, by the little-water place, there's a wood. Some would say a sadly shrinking wood, diminished by the encroachment of sidewalk and asphalt, and run off and old tires and the occasional discarded washing machine. But in the draw is a copse where all the rivulets cross, and a wild heart still beats in the heart of those woods, tiny now, not much larger than two elephants. And this heart beats, and can be driven to beat wildly with the right encouragement.

It is to this beat I apply my magician's tools: the wand and the top hat, cups and staves and pentacles and rings. That bit of forest has enough frustration in it to break through the bonds of this cardboard sky and tunnel a path to the reed-covered lodge, to open the way for the Queen of the Hudson.

And her box.

Microwave Explosion

10/9/2019 11:36pm

Psssst! Hey! Over here! Yeah, under the streetlamp, and up the rickety stairs behind Pop's place.

Just so you know, the big boys from the Magician's Union aren't the only people keeping their eyes out for that Chinese Lightning Box. If you hear anything, the Queen of the Hudson would be mighty interested in knowing about it. Even the tiniest scrap! She'd make it worth your while, too. Just keep it on the down-low from those union boys and the CGA and you'll be right as rain.

You can find her at the reed-covered lodge, by the little-water place.

And tell her Larry sent you.