SHIP'S LOG:

The Celestial Voyager

Annette Chung 9/22/2023 11:57pm

"See? Look at that squirrel. Look at its mouth."

"Like its lips? Does a squirrel have lips?"

"I mean its jaw. The bottom part of its face. Doesn't it look all purple?"

"Well, it's sort of in a shadow. But yeah, it's dark. Maybe from eating berries?"

"All the berries are gone or dried up. What if it's some kind of fungus?"

"A fungus?"

"Yeah, like a zombie fungus. Like it has rabies. Wants to bite us."

"That squirrel has been super pushy. I've been out there and it doesn't run away at all."

"Because it's mad. As in crazed."

"Let's go out there now!"

"And confront it? Enrage it? No way."

"Well we can at least get a closer look. It won't attack us, I promise."

"You can't promise that."

"Oh come on. I'm going now."

"Okay. I guess."

...

"See? It doesn't run away at all like the other squirrels. It holds its ground. THAT is creepy."

"It's just habituated. And look -- it's eating a walnut. Doesn't that have some kind of purple dye in it?"

"That sorta sounds familiar..."

"It's not even paying attention to us. Let's walk closer."

"Wait. Isn't it looking at us? What is it doing? Why is it opening its mouth like that?"

"zzzzz...crkkkkk....zzzzzz ...THE MPV MADNESS SEEKS OUT A LOVER, PUTTING OUT A DISTRESS CALL TO ANY SHIPS IN THE AREA....zzzzz....crkkkkk... currently on the glide REPEAT ON THE GLIDE with no engine power... REPEAT.... zzzzz.... crkkkkk...zzzz"

"OH MY GOD! DID YOU HEAR THAT?"

"That's the neighbor's radio. It's always on when they're in their garage."

"No! Listen! Get closer. It's in some kind of state..."

"zzzzz...crkkkkk....zzzzzz ...THE MPV MADNESS SEEKS OUT A LOVER, PUTTING OUT A DISTRESS CALL TO ANY SHIPS IN THE AREA....zzzzz....crkkkkk... currently on the glide REPEAT ON THE GLIDE with no engine power... REPEAT.... zzzzz.... crkkkkk...zzzz"

"It's a... distress signal!"

"No."

"You know what we have to do, don't you?"

"No. I mean, come on..."

"This is EXACTLY the situation you've been talking about."

"Well... I guess that's true."

Crystal McBride 1/5/2024 11:52pm

"And how long have you been hearing this ringing sound?"

"Ever since the accident. So, I guess about three weeks?"

"Does the ringing occur in just one ear?"

"No, both. And it's not really a 'ringing.' It's more like a... scratchy, cracky noise."

"Is it continuous? Or intermittent?"

"Definitely continuous. I go to sleep hearing it, I wake up hearing it. I'm surprised I'm able to go to sleep. I think I must just block it out. But I think it's been giving me strange dreams."

"What kind of dreams?"

"Flying dreams."

"I see."

The doctor enters some notes into the file he's been holding.

"Alright then. Now, I've looked in your ears, and I don't see any obstructions or inflammation. But I have another device here. It's like a very tiny microphone that will allow us to pick up any vibrations -- any abnormal vibrations -- that might be happening in your ear. Take a look."

"It's just a little wire."

"That's right. Now, you know we always say: 'Never put anything smaller than a breadbox in your ear!'"

"What's a breadbox?"

"Ha ha! But, in the hands of a skilled otolaryngologist, it is ok. We're very careful. Are you ready now?"

"Uh, I guess?"

"Alrighty. Just sit very still... and... there. Now, I'll turn up the volume here on the spectraphone speaker system..."

"zzzzz...crkkkkk....zzzzzz ...THE MPV MADNESS SEEKS OUT A LOVER, PUTTING OUT A DISTRESS CALL TO ANY SHIPS IN THE AREA....zzzzz....crkkkkk... currently on the glide REPEAT ON THE GLIDE with no engine power... REPEAT.... zzzzz.... crkkkkk...zzzz"

Irene Jackson 4/27/2024 11:23pm

The table was strewn with empty dim sum steamer baskets. We were through.

"Well I'm just glad you understand. This wasn't as hard as I thought it would be."

"I could tell something wasn't clicking. I just hadn't thought it through like you have. Or I thought it would work itself out."

I caught a server's eye and motioned for the bill.

"I think we'll both be better off meeting new people. That's what dating is for, right? To find out?"

"Maybe you're just in more of a hurry than I am."

The server counted up out plates and filled out the bill. She left it on the table with a single fortune cookie.

"Just one?"

"We'll share it."

We each took one side of the cookie, like it was a wishbone, and cracked it open. The fortune fell to the table.

We looked at each other for a moment, then I picked it up and read it aloud.

""zzzzz...crkkkkk....zzzzzz ...THE MPV MADNESS SEEKS OUT A LOVER, PUTTING OUT A DISTRESS CALL TO ANY SHIPS IN THE AREA....zzzzz....crkkkkk... currently on the glide REPEAT ON THE GLIDE with no engine power... REPEAT.... zzzzz.... crkkkkk...zzzz"

"Are you making up those noises?"

"No, it's written like that. Take a look."

It wasn't like any fortune I'd seen before.

"Look, on the back, those aren't lucky numbers."

"It's longitude. And latitude."

We looked at each other over the mess of the table. There were fortune cookie crumbs on it now too.

"It's a distress signal," we both said at the same time.

Rats. It was just how we got involved in the first place.