Capt. Frank Clarence

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ol' big balloon
12/3/2023 9:43pm



"No not like that!" hollered Herbert Alamak over the roar of rovers. He'd come out of his geodesic hovel and was making his way through the chocolate dust, waving his arms. "You're bound to destroy half the planet! Or worse!"

Seemed like ol' Herb was in the mood to talk. I called the kids on the walkie and had them take a break.

"You don't know what you're dealing with here," said Herb, shaking his head. "There's a reason I've set my camp out this far from town, and it's for your own safety. Everybody's safety. I'm doing dangerous work."

"Seems like it got dangerous for @Natty Bloomspice, didn't it."

"Yes, it did. And through no fault of my own. If it hadn't been for those meddling kids..." Herb looked off into the dust devil the kids and kicked off with their rovers. "But I think I might just know where we can find Natty, figuring he survived, that is."

I didn't like Herb's cavalier tone about the boy. But I needed to know what he was getting at. I just gave Herb a look.

"I got some equipment in the barn. It'll be safe enough. And we're going to need some rope. A lot of rope."




ol' big balloon
5/22/2023 11:57pm



Herb knew more than he was letting on.

This had always been the case, with Herb being a mysterious type. But I'd never seen Herb so sure about something. He never seemed to be sure about anything, on top of never willing to trust anyone. Now he was telling me that if one thing were sure, it was that there sure couldn't have been a huge orange pumpkin floating in the sky out near his place.

"It seemed to be related to a cyclone."

"There are cyclones in the rifts. Could it have been the setting sun, rolled up in a cloud of dust?"

"There were some local youths involved."

"And that is your jurisdiction, Captain. I can not be responsible for young people who come out here."

"I know you like to keep to yourself, Herb. And I respect that. But the Bloomspice boy, Natty, has gone missing. So I'm seeking information on what might have gone on out here."

This got Herb's attention.

"The boy could be anywhere in the cracks of the flats," he said. "You should be out looking for him now, wandering in the chocolate dust."

"Do you get these cyclones often, Herb?"

"They come through now and again. But I don't have weather stations in all the rifts. Only what comes through my own small network."

"Can I see this weather data, Herb?"

"I'll get you a download by the next time you come around with the mail, Captain. How does that sound?"

It sounded like enough time to be sure Herb could doctor that weather data as much as he liked.

"You bet, Herb. That sounds great."







ol' big balloon
1/2/2022 11:02pm



The tracks all lead out in Herb's direction, following the rover ruts down into the canyons.

"Whoa, nellie, now that ain't gonna do," I told the Ol' Big Balloon. The gusts on the flats were no joke, and going over the wind was more of a trip than I'd charged her up for.

But following the kids down into the canyons was something we'd had experience with. Before all these settlers showed up, and it was just my family and the geo-survey team out on the Chocolate Flats. No rules back then except don't get yourself out of a scrape you can't get yourself out of with items on hand. And I gained a lot of experience in this very ship scouting out every nook and cranny of the flats. Even out as far as where Herb made his homestead.

There were a lot of reasons everybody tried to talk Herb out of it. The distance, number one, and the energy it would take to keep him looped in as part of the group. Everybody's got to work as a group, or we won't survive. And more times that not, not even then. But Herb staked his claim and there was nothing anybody could do about it. Herb knew the risks.

Well, maybe not all of them. The ones based on data, sure. But I'd seen things out there that the data just couldn't capture.






ol' big balloon
9/23/2021 9:33pm



The High Chocolate Flats are incorrectly named. It was an easy thing to call a big blank spot on a map, and from a great distance it does look mighty flat.

But from a few thousand feet, it's not that flat. Chocolate ridges, cracks and cliffs abound. Still plenty of flat between them. Enough for Insta-stations and experimental bio-rec fields and long thin rover ruts through the chocolate dust.

And there seemed to be a bit more dust than usual up ahead.






ol' big balloon
8/10/2021 10:44pm



"So, Mr. Bloomspice. When did you last see your daughter?"

Elder Bloomspice looks out across the Chocolate Flats, chewing on a piece of prickly stick.

"Well can't rightly say I see her most days. Could've been last week. Could've been last month. We keep busy out here improving this broken land. With honest hard work!"

Elder Bloomspice looks at me accusingly.

"You called to report your daughter missing."

Elder Bloomspice spits out a splinter. "PFWAH! That'd be my son Natty made the call. He's a sensitive type. Maybe too sensitive to survive out here, truth be told. Not like my Henrietta."

"May speak to your son? Natty?"

"Well you could if'n he hadn't taken off on his 'rover after her. Left right after he called you. Couple hours ago now. West. Out toward Herbert's direction."

I look out over the Chocolate Flats. To the west. Same direction Elder's been looking.

"Well, I better get going if I want the light."

"You do that, Cap. And thank you for the pigworms."






ol' big balloon
5/13/2021 11:33pm



Arrived to find the Fernanke homestead abandoned. Sure, it took a little while to get the paperwork approved for their replacement pigworms, but not that long. Took a look around the place and the reclamators were online and working just fine. Water tested good. Plenty of Heat-me-ups in the larder. Even a case of chewcumbers in the cellar. Doesn't look like they packed anything. In fact, the place looks like they just stepped out for a minute.

'Cept there ain't no place to step out to, out here in High Chocolate Flats.

Guess I need to see if any of the other settlers need a fresh batch of pigworms. I'm sure not planning on feeding them myself.






ol' big balloon
2/16/2021 11:09pm



The dry chocolate dessert is an unforgiving mistress, as these settlers know all too well.

When they arrive they're full of bravado, filling the hold with their cheery optimism as we ferry them out to their homesteads.

Then we see them on our supply runs, wearing down, little by little. They put more into their work than they get out of it, trying to grow some kind of life here. But there's a negative ROI. Diminishing returns from the get go.

Eventually, a day comes when we drop out of the dusty brown skies to deliver the mail, and there's no home home. Oh, sometimes we find them, in their dwellings or an outbuilding. Murder suicides. More often than not they just take a walk, out towards the horizon, and never return.

Mostly.

Then there's Herb. Nobody knows how he survives, or thrives, but somehow he keeps on truckin. He's an inspiration to us all, they say. Or at least the inspiration that keeps more settlers coming. Everybody thinks they're gonna be the next Herb.

Trouble is, they're not.

Nobody's like Herb.