SLYR

Dragon's Tooth

3/9/2018 6:04pm

We have released Dihydrogen Monoxide Disintegrators, DMDs for short, to destroy the water at the capital of the mermaid imperium. While it was deemed necessary at the time, future generations will forever question whether it was right to do so. The ray shields surrounding the capital mean that the capital shall be left dry once all the water inside the shields is destroyed. My shipment of Amazon Autonomous Attack Drones arrived, so I shall use those to eliminate any resistance after we drain the capital.

I fear we might have gone too far, but it's too late to stop now.

Dragon's Tooth

3/9/2018 5:43pm

The attack went as planned. Initiating Operation Future Desert.

Dragon's Tooth

3/6/2018 6:29pm

It is the third day of The War on the Mermaid Imperium. Our particle scanners have located a small breach in the neutron shields defending the capital, just over 3 feet wide. The current objective is to set off an antimatter discontainment capsule right at the breach, hopefully causing sufficient damage to bring down enough of the shields to let the Dragon's Tooth sail through. Hopefully, the Merfolk have gotten complacent in their domed city, what with their autonomous missile turrets destroying all complex life forms that tread too near.

Dragon's Tooth

3/4/2018 11:52am

It appears I am alone in my quest against the Mermaid Imperium. Today I arrived at the outskirts of their kingdom. They must have heard I was coming, for it appears they have constructed several surface-to-air missile turrets around the walls of their kingdom. I'll try to find a gap in their defenses, but finding a gap big enough to fit the Dragon's Tooth through is the hard part.

Dragon's Tooth

3/4/2018 11:52am

It appears I am alone in my quest against the Mermaid Imperium. Today I arrived at the outskirts of their kingdom. They must have heard I was coming, for it appears they have constructed several surface-to-air missile turrets around the walls of their kingdom. I'll try to find a gap in their defenses, but finding a gap big enough to fit the Dragon's Tooth through is the hard part.

Dragon's Tooth

3/1/2018 3:48pm

After nearly a month of preparation, the Dragon's Tooth is ready to sail for the Mermaid Imperium. Calling all able airsailers! Join me in the quest to overthrow the tyranny of the Mermaid Imperium! Wages are 25 pieces an hour plus whatever loot you can find. According to my charts, we will be arriving in three days.

Dragon's Tooth

2/12/2018 2:41pm

It has been nearly two weeks since my last correspondence with Mr. Clammy Hamsphere, and I fear the worst. The atrocities of the Mermaid Imperium, including but not limited to slavery, intimidation, coercion, witchcraft, disturbance of the peace, and general unpleasantry, shall not continue unchecked.

I hereby declare war upon the Mermaid Imperium, on behalf of loyal customer Clammy Hamsphere!

I do this in full recognition that I am but one, and that the forces of the Mermaid Imperium are known for being among the most vicious in the Galaxy. I shall recruit able hands aboard my ship, willing to strive for the greater good, and overthrow the stronghold of tyranny that is the Mermaid Imperium!

This is SLYR, Captain of the Dragon's Tooth, signing off.

Dragon's Tooth

1/30/2018 2:47pm

To Mr. Clammy Hamsphere,

I had delivered the cursed jewelry to the Mermaid Imperium a week ago, but with their harsh attitudes and the terrible climate practically tearing up my ship, I was afraid to ask them for a receipt. When I finally got around to asking them, they acted extremely hostile and threatened me, demanding that I leave their empire. I feel as though they want to further punish you for taking the jewelry in the first place, but you have done the right thing by returning it and the curse should henceforth be alleviated, and that doesn't seem to have happened. With that in mind, we here at the Dragon's Tooth believe that the satisfaction of the customer is of utmost importance, so if you so desire, I am prepared to singlehandedly declare war on the Mermaid Imperium to free you from the shackles of your curse.

- Slyr, Captain of the Dragon's Tooth

Dragon's Tooth

1/22/2018 7:04pm

You've come to the right place for shipping peppercorns and radioactive material. Is this Sergei? What is the pickup zone? Perhaps you should "wave" to us so that we don't "pass" you by.

okay that was a bad pun but you requested I mention "The Passing of the Waves" and the great ancient library of Google has no information on the matter, a dire situation indeed

Dragon's Tooth

1/21/2018 8:29pm

I apologize most severely for the delay, Mr. Clammy Hamsphere. My air cruiser had suffered some damage, and we have been repairing it for a while now. Thankfully, the repairs have been completed. I have collected the heirlooms and they shall be delivered to the Mermaid Imperium within the next hour.