Roberto Shelton

Minecraft is the best

4/21/2022 11:41pm

"Don't stray too far!" called Mr. Berrybaum. "If you get lost, just look up!" he cackled.

After a whole day slinging coffee drinks in the tiny shack at the top of the tower, I needed to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. Mr. Berrybaum was kind enough to include room and board with my employment -- all the biscotti I could eat, and was welcome to roll out my sleeping bag next to him on the floor of the shack.

But I needed a walk.

And what I really needed was a way out of this tiny truckstop in the middle of the desert -- the Goggles Desert Coffee Shack Aerodrome and Emporium. But negotiating rides with customers while I was working didn't seem appropriate, and after we closed there was no one around. Nothing but cactus and a sky full of more stars than I'd ever seen in my life.

"Pssst! Hey! Hey you!" a voice sounded out of the darkness. From up in the air.

"Think you can give me a hand? Tie us down somewhere? Here! Watch it!"

A great coil of rope fell from the air and hit me in the head. The other end of the rope was coming out of what looked like an open window of light floating in the sky. And there was someone inside.

Minecraft is the best

2/13/2022 9:45pm

"Kid, I like your style."

The tips had gone through the roof since I started my shift. Mr. Berrybaum hired me the moment I knocked on the hatch of the tiny coffee stand, which was the moment just after climbing the enormous ladder all the way up to it.

"It's hard to attract good help way out here in the middle of the desert," he said. "You're a real lifesaver."

Mr. Berrybaum had been running the Goggles Desert Coffee Shack Aerodrome and Emporium by himself for some time, but he wasn't the barista most of the pilots were expecting. From their limited signage, the Goggles Desert Coffee Shack Aerodrome and Emporium brand was definitely implying a somewhat more attractive type of barista than Mr. Berrybaum, who was, frankly, rather slovenly.

"Would you mind if I loosened this corset? Just a little?" I asked.

"Hmmm. It might be just the thing to push those tips into the stratosphere! Go for it, kid! Just don't spill the lattes!"

Minecraft is the best

12/21/2021 11:01pm

After the entire day passing without a single acknowledgment by any customers in line at the Goggles Desert Coffee Shack Aerodrome and Emporium, I realized I'd need to change my tack.

-----

WANTED: BARISTA

* COFFEE MAKING EXPERIENCE PREFERRED
* MUST LOOK GOOD IN STEAMPUNK REGALIA

-INQUIRE WITHIN-

-----

Well, I guess I didn't see any other options...

Minecraft is the best

10/30/2021 11:58pm

I thanked Clive for the lift and exited his classic 1986 Winneblimpo via the rope ladder. The ground was dusty, and nothing but desert as far as the eye could see.

The coffee shack was high atop its tower, and already had quite a line. Likely because it was the only coffee shack for miles, but it was also called "Goggles" with the logo drawn in such a way that it implied the baristas would be wearing steampunk corsets and bustiers. But I wasn't here for the coffee.

"Faulkton?" I hollered up to the airships waiting in the queue high above me.

"Henderson? Wuppertal? Miyazaki?" I wasn't sure they could hear me up there.

"Lyubertsy? Aastaurmond? Anybody headed my way?"

The airships idled in the rising heat of the day, ready to get their coffees and some titillation before heading on their ways.

"Chauxhall? Pastoria City anybody?"

There had to be a better way to do this.

Minecraft is the best

4/16/2020 11:00pm

Yes, uh... calling Captain Billy Grave. Come in! Come in! (Is thing on? What? Right now? Oh, ok.)

Dear Captain Grave,

So far, none of our clients (in Faulkton, Henderson, Wuppertal, Miyazaki, Lyubertsy, Aastaurmond, Chauxhall, and Pastoria City) have reported receipt for the spare parts for their Reality Generators. Reality isn't going to generate itself, you know! And it's possible that this lack of spare parts may have resulted in the recent Reality Accident!

Please inform us of your progress, as it is vitally important these parts arrive at their required destinations.

Signed,

R. Shelton, Proprietor
GEARS OF COGNATION LLC.

Minecraft is the best

11/14/2019 10:09pm

We've got another load of spare parts for the Reality Generators in Faulkton, Henderson, Wuppertal, Miyazaki, Lyubertsy, Aastaurmond, Chauxhall, and Pastoria City. Because of the nature of these parts, the actual manifest of delivered items may vary through time, as will the existence of the cities themselves. Ship and Captain must be adept at navigating the edges and holes in maps. Please post resume to this site when claiming job. Our warehouse currently located in Flimsdale, Newark, Metherwaney, and Chide. c/o GEARS OF COGNATION LLC.

Conquest

8/27/2018 10:12am

Spare parts for the Reality Generators in Faulkton, Henderson, Wuppertal, Miyazaki, Lyubertsy, Aastaurmond, Chauxhall, and Pastoria City. Because of the nature of these parts, the actual manifest of delivered items may vary through time, as will the existence of the cities themselves. Ship and Captain must be adept at navigating the edges and holes in maps. Please post resume to this site when claiming job. Our warehouse currently located in Flimsdale, Newark, Metherwaney, and Chide. c/o GEARS OF COGNATION LLC.