SHIP'S LOG:

Thot Slayer

Slobodkina 6/26/2018 5:38pm

So I was convinced by the very nice HR person at Zephyr Air Transport that all the Colonial Symbolism that they utilize has been thoroughly vetted and laundered through state-of-the-art post-appropriation mechanisms, not to mention completely immersed in proprietary meta-irony compounds before being allowed contact with the public, and there was no danger of succumbing to any kind of "creeping rot" or other sleepy fascist/imperial tendencies through exposure to it. So I'm finally ready to sign up, and just as soon as I finish up this big bowl of ice cream I'm heading down the to the recruitment bureau to take my physical. See you there!

Slobodkina 6/5/2018 7:43pm

Hey so my vacation fell through (really weird series of coincidences) and so it turns out I do have time to ship out with the Thot Slayer for the summer. Yay! But, as I was waiting at the air ticket counter while they looked for my plane reservation I began to have some questions about Zephyr Air Transport and its role in colonialism? Specifically, doesn't Zephyr Air Transport, through the technology it employs, serve to perpetuate colonial symbolism and a yearning for a "simpler time" when the white hero could serenely fly above the underdeveloped, unwashed masses, safe in a technological (and thus implied moral) superiority? Isn't Zephyr Air Transport merely post-colonial propaganda to distract the marginalized classes from their oppression, fetishizing a giant floating phallus as it imposes its girth upon the natives below, strafing them with its streamlined vision of a future forever denied?

Slobodkina 5/13/2018 7:42pm

I’m thrilled to have been accepted as the newest crew member of the Thot Slayer! They were so accommodating about letting me take time off right away, on account of the vacation I already had planned. I’ll be starting school as soon as I return, which is full time, and if everything goes according to plan I’ll graduate in about three years. After that I’m scheduled for a graduate program, which will last another two, followed by a stint in the Forever Corps, which is how I’m planning on paying back my student loans. The Forever Corps, as you know, is the government’s time-travel aid agency, which travels deep into the future and the past delivering aid and working on strategic development projects in the timeline. I hear my placement will be in timeline Melinda 2-A, which is supposedly the up and coming “it” timeline, so I’m really honored to have been picked.

So, just as soon as all that is wrapped up, I’ll be super excited to officially start my first day on the Thot Slayer!

Professor Grape Face 4/26/2018 6:34pm

Good evening Thot Slayer crew members. I have arrived to inform you that I have joined this ship's lovely crew.

Professor Grape Face 4/26/2018 6:32pm

I am here to inform you that your job has been accepted by me! Thank you for informing me about the aggressiveness of the cats. As for the long nails, I will most likely cut them in order to avoid damage. This is just a precaution as my insurance doesn't cover extreme cat scratches.

Karea Haya - 4/3/2018 8:04pm

Job claimed by Professor Grape Face 2018-04-26 18:32:01

I need three cats delivered to Felinis. Be extremely cautious, it is unknown if they are aggressive. They're like little invisible ninjas. Oh, and their claws haven't been clipped since last year. Good luck.

Wild Dick Reardon 1/27/2018 2:18pm

Hey there Buckaroos! A mighty thanks for accepting my job--transporting a small herd of the wildest buckin' seahorses in the Seven Seas to the Grand International Oceanic Stock Show in Atlantia in time for the big hoedown next month. But it looks like Moe's takin' some time off, and wasn't sure if this job got handed off properly there on the ol' Thot Slayer. Are you skypokes headin' my way to get these sea ponies to the underwater rodeo on time or what? Let me know, because if these buckin' beauties don't make it to the show on time there'll be heck to pay!

Moe Slamberry 1/26/2018 10:53am

Glad to be aboard the crew of the prestigious Thot Slayer. I will have to take the first two weeks of to visit my family in the Finger Lakes. I snuck off to join this crew so I'll have to go back to let them know I got a job. They'll be worrying about me, people go missing in the Finger Lakes. After that of course I can be on board 24/7 !! Great to be on board.

Wild Dick Reardon - 1/25/2018 9:29pm

Job claimed by Moe Slamberry 2018-01-26 10:53:58

Hey Buckaroos! I've got a stablefull of the nastiest, rootin' tootin'est feral seahorses that ever appeared at an underwater rodeo, and they've got to make it to the Grand International Oceanic Stock Show in Atlantia in time for the big hoedown next month. Oh there'll be mermaids and mermen, sirens and selkies, invisible dogs and corn on a stick! If you're not already headed there I'd suggest it for sure, and if you are already headed there, and are able to transport 5 seahorse trailers full of sea water, a handful of handlers, and 10 of the wildest, wooliest, most bucking seahorses you've ever seen, then we're in business! Our ranch is in the tropical shallows just 10 degrees north of the Farina Islands. Look for our bright orange floating enclosure, and tell 'em Dick sent ya.

Naeer 1/24/2018 12:39pm

Naeer, thot slayer, reporting for duty