SHIP'S LOG:

The Sadie Hawkins

Armando Lupiz 11/26/2017 3:58pm

I am Captain Armando Lupiz, aka The Sky Wolf, and the Sadie Hawkins is my ship.

Business has been good! We've had a full schedule moving coffee beans, haunted doll parts, and crystal skull knockoffs up and down the ragged coastline of the western continent. Right now we're moored to the tip of the Transamerica Pyramid in New San Francisco. Most of the crew has disembarked and are waiting on the 32nd floor for the ferry to arrive and take them on shore leave. In reality most of them won't actually get to "shore" -- most of the bars and flophouses they frequent are located in the couple of dozen buildings still poking up above the water. But I always like parking at the Pyramid--it's a great way to let everybody know you're in town.

Not that we need any more gigs at the moment. Zephyr Air's getting us more business than we can handle these days. I'll be staying on board and overseeing some routine maintenance, catching up on my correspondence, and going over job offers.

Yours,

Captain Armando Lupiz
(The Sky Wolf)
on board the continuous merchant dirigible Sadie Hawkins

Wanda McDervish - 11/26/2017 5:59pm

Job claimed by Armando Lupiz 2017-11-28 21:18:54

I've got 600 pallets of Monkey Chow that need to get to the capital of the Haplorhini Kingdom before the moons align. The Monkey Priests have yet to account for why they have allowed their stocks to fall so low at such a critical time, but they need the chow now nonetheless. Can you do it? The chow's been sitting on the docks in Strepsirrhini (Terminal 9), but labor disputes have got things locked up. I've got the personal word of the local Longairhipshoreman's Union that they'll give you no trouble about the pickup. Please let me know as soon as you can.

Armando Lupiz 11/28/2017 9:18pm

Dear Wanda McDervish,

The Sadie Hawkins can take your job. We'll be leaving New San Francisco at dawn tomorrow, and can be in Strepsirrhini by the end of the week. This gives us plenty of time to make it to Omomyidae in time for the moon show.

We'll keep you updated here in our logs.

Thanks for your business!

Captain Armando Lupiz
(The Sky Wolf)
on board the continuous merchant dirigible Sadie Hawkins

Billy Nails 11/30/2017 11:01pm

Psssst! Hey kid! Yeah, you. You know where we're headed, right? The Haplorhini Kingdom. Just let it roll off your tongue: HAP-LORE-HINEY. Sounds pretty exotic, doesn't it? Makes you think of palm trees, coconuts, white sand beaches, right?

Well you're probably too young to remember it, but back in the day you know what we called it? The Kingdom of the Monkey Pigs. That's right, and we weren't being speciesist. That's what their name translated to in their own language. And they were tough, let me tell you. I knew some old timers who fought them in the Monkey Pig Wars... Amos, and Captain Chairbreaker and the rest. When they first made contact with the Monkey Pigs it wasn't pretty. It was war was what it was. The Hairy Huns who Hunger for Human Hair is what they called them, because they had an insatiable hunger for one thing: that's right--human hair. They wouldn't kill you--they'd take you prisoner and keep you on one of their farms... shaving you for a snack whenever they felt like it!

But Captain Chairbreaker and his crew brought the fight right to the Monkey Pigs, and with their nets and syrup cannons brought the armistice. After that, they changed the name to the Haplorhini Kingdom, on account of it was better for tourism.

So you just watch your back when we get there. And get back to work! What are you doing just lollygagging around like that? Look sharp or I'll report you and you'll be looking at half rations for a week, you will. Get along!

Armando Lupiz 12/2/2017 9:58pm

True to our client's assurances, the local Longairhipshoreman's Union in Strepsirrhini was happy to load the chow. Strepsirrhini is an independent multi-cultural city state, but expats of the Monkey Kingdom control the docks. Lately they've been refusing to load most ships due to a labor dispute with the Port Authority. There were at least a dozen ships moored or in holding patterns around the docks.

The union head himself met us at terminal 9 with a work gang, screeching and leaping from the riggings and nets. We sat down to a ritual smoke ceremony while he reviewed my export certificates and Wanda McDervish's coded message. We took the precaution of decoding the message ourselves--Comms Officer Hickle having an interest in puzzles and languages. It merely said that we were officially charged by the Monkey Priests of Omomyidae to deliver this shipment, and to have a happy Triple Moon party, and praise to Flora, Alexander, and Pom, who are the trio of Monkey child gods celebrated at the conjunction of the moons. The union head seemed to find this acceptable and settled back with his smoke bowl, watching his crew expertly tie up the pallets of chow and hoist them into the Sadie Hawkins' bay. What they lack in size and strength, the Monkey stevedores more than make up for in an uncanny understanding of the physics of simple machines, and the cargo was loaded quickly and efficiently.

We departed immediately after the loading was complete, heading due west out to sea. We've got many days ahead over nothing but open ocean, but if this weather holds I foresee no obstacles in reaching our destination in time.

Captain Armando Lupiz
(The Sky Wolf)
on board the continuous merchant dirigible Sadie Hawkins

Lilx - 12/4/2017 9:34pm

Job claimed by Armando Lupiz 2017-12-05 23:55:21

I need some notes from my school Psyhigh to be delivered to pen pals across dimensions.

Armando Lupiz 12/5/2017 11:55pm

The Sadie Hawkins would be happy to take your job, Lilix. We love visiting Psychic High School, and, if this weather holds up, we plan to be back to your school before Christmas--still in time to be your source for unique and meaningful holiday gifts, including fortune-telling goat skulls, everlasting "Free No More" love commitment jewelry, and wild jerky flavors you can't find at your local 7-11. We'll also be happy to take your pack of penpal letters along with us when we leave, and drop them off as we're able.

In the meantime, still nothing but miles and miles of open ocean as far as we can see. We were lucky to spot a group of singing "grandmother" whales breaching ahead of us today--in time to change course before we were caught up in the massive thought wave emanations they use to try and contact their home star system. Their excessively large exposed brains were a sight to behold in the late afternoon sun. Who's going to tell them their old sun has gone nova? Not us! We steered clear of the turbulent psycho-weather, and are continuing to head full steam for the Haplorhini Kingdom.

Captain Armando Lupiz
(The Sky Wolf)
on board the continuous merchant dirigible Sadie Hawkins

Billy Nails 12/9/2017 5:48pm

First time to the Monkey Kingdom, kid? Pretty grand, isn't it? The towering ruins, the jungle vines, the flowers. It is one of the most magnificent approaches you'll see as the ship makes its way up river to Omomyidae. But now that we're moored and have some liberty, don't forget all the sky sailors that got shaved by those Monkey Pigs! They still got the hunger for hair, I hear, so you make sure to take a buddy or two when you're ashore. Best you stick to Sapientown, and if you're looking for a night out, and visit the Lost Airman--that's a safe place for greenhorns like you.

Armando Lupiz 12/12/2017 11:57pm

I am pleased to report that the Sadie Hawkins had a successful dropoff with the consignees. The Monkey Priests themselves met us on the dock (well, maybe not the Grand PooBahs, but definitely ones in priestly gear) and the terms were settled as arranged. Of an even greater surprise was that all hands were accounted for as we got under way--even with a bit of shore leave, every one of my sailors was able to find their way back to the ship before we left. Not that any would have wanted to stay behind, as feelings are none too hospitable to sky sailors of the human persuasion here in the Monkey Kingdom. Old wounds from the war die hard, on both sides, and it's best that we don't scratch them too deeply. Especially when there's rum involved. The Monkeys do make an amazing banana-coconut rum.

Now we're headed to one of my favorite ports of call--Psychic High School! Every little knick knack and doodad we've ended up with in the hold would love to end up in somebody's stocking at that place. Plus, it's a safe and wholesome port of call, if you know what I mean. It's safe to let my sailors out--they won't get too roughed up by the student body.

It'll be a few days till we get there, but looks like smooth flying ahead.

Captain Armando Lupiz
(The Sky Wolf)
on board the continuous merchant dirigible Sadie Hawkins

Armando Lupiz 12/17/2017 10:46pm

Arrived Psychic High School under pleasant weather and easily moored at our old hitching post on Sunblimimal Field. Tents deployed, cargo unloaded and merchandised for the school’s Winter Festival. Crew taking shifts on retail duty for the week and performing routine maintenance.

For all the bluster of experienced sky sailors, I can sense the crew is ready for some time on shore without barfights, risk of being pickpocketed, or shanghaied, or even assasnated. Psyhigh is a civilized place, and no doubt the suburban atmosphere of this world reminds many a sailor of warm beds and sidewalks and parks, of 7-11’s and Targets and Thai restaurants in strip malls. It reminds them of the homes they had before they fell out of their strollers or wandered off and weren’t claimed for seven days—before they were picked up and taken far away by Zephyr Air to defray expenses.




Captain Armando Lupiz
(The Sky Wolf)
onboard the continuous merchant dirigible Sadie Hawkins