SHIP'S LOG:

Claudette

Melinda Artaud - 11/29/2017 11:31pm

Job claimed by Nobody 2018-01-05 17:09:20

I represent Silver Springs Capital Management. As you know, the oversupply of consonants has been holding back the economy in Orbis Eruditi, and we recently received government approval to liquidate a large number of capital R's, S's, and T's.

We don't care where they end up, as long as they are taken out of circulation permanently in the Orbis Eruditi region. Currently the letters are not boxed, but have been stored in an outdoor facility without cover for some time, so may be slightly weathered or mildewed.

We have been fully authorized by the Alphabetical Order to engage in this liquidation, and are prepared to pay handsomely. Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

Nobody 1/5/2018 4:13pm

Captain’s Log:
I don’t remember when I started working here or why. But I do know that my copilot (and Cat) Claude and I have been doing really well for as long as I can remember. (Which isn’t long. But still). I’ve even managed to negotiate terms so that I get paid in sprinkles in addition to gold ingots. No one has even noticed that my “ship” is actually a dragon with a large tent on its back. Claudette has been quite accommodating and the ridges on her spine are perfectly shaped to hold and protect packages under the tent. I don’t even have to worry about steering, which Claude is happy about because he says I couldn’t lead a four-eyed proxibear down a oneway street. (He’s not wrong). I simply tell Claudette where our next job is and she flies there on her own. She’s got a great sense of direction.

I never thought I would be working this sort of job; I always thought I’d do.. um.. I’d get a job... uh... erm... um... as a... uh... healer! Anyway. This is more exciting, and Claude says he likes it better. Less blood (usually), happier people (sometimes), lower stress (not really), and I’m pretty much my own boss! More or less. Also, I uh...um... I can’t remember what I was going to say.

I have to go now, the amphibious guienea pigs we’re currently transporting just woke up and I should probably secure their cage. We still have an hour’s travel ahead of us.

Signing off for now,
Captain Nobody of Claudette (which is definitely an airship and not a dragon)

Nobody 1/5/2018 5:09pm

Captain’ Log:
We’ve entered a bit of a storm on our way to Orbis Eruditi to pick up... um... what was it? Uh... Con.... can... I can’t recall, but I’m sure my copilot (and Cat), Claude remembers.
Anyway, the storm might delay us a little bit, but we should be there shortly. I checked the back of the tent on my airship-that-is-definitely-not-a-dragon and we have plenty of space amongst the other cargo for whatever-it-is we’re picking up. Claude just informed me that it is Capital R’s S’s and T’s. I wonder if they will be able to pay us in sprinkles.

I have just been informed that with the vowel weather we are currently experiencing, our arrival time should be somewhere within the next two days. I should make sure the waterproof tarp is properly secured.

Signing off for now,
Captain Nobody of Claudette

Melinda Artaud 2/3/2018 11:18pm

Silver Springs Capital Management was thrilled to have our oversupply of R's, S's, and T's removed from circulation from Orbis Eruditi, but our books show that we still owe the Claudette for the removal. Our attempts at remittance to your Accounts Receivable have gone unanswered. Is there another way we should be paying you? We have 75 capital vowels of various denominations still awaiting your acceptance on our docks, and are ready to send them to any accredited grapheme logography of your choosing.

Please let us know at your earliest convenience. Also, please note that our terms clearly state that unclaimed invoices older than one year are automatically deprecated.